I had the unfortunate oppurtunity not too long ago to be at a dub gathering, which included a prayer over a meal.
Last prayer said at my table before I banned them:
Our heavenly father, Jehovah (me, to myself - just in case You forgot Your name) we thank You now for this wonderful meal You've provided to us today (hey, it was me who provided the meal, ingrate) and we're all especially grateful today that we can be here around this table with Nick and his wife (ok, well, that's a little more like it) and we thank You for the wonderful day You have provided to us today, Jehovah (hey, I think He already knows who He is, besides, it was a shitty, rainy, humid day - but at least 7 billion people weren't slaughtered, so I guess it was ok) and pray You will forgive us today our many, many weaknesses and shortcomings (speak for yourself, buddy. I'm ok) Jehovah (how many times do you have to repeat His name to make sure He knows you're talking to Him?) and that You will soon bring this wicked system of things to an end (ok, so you *want* to see 7 billion people slaughtered?) so that your faithful servants may live forever on paradise earth in Your righteous Kingdom (yeah, eating vegetables and milk and honey forever and ever. That's pretty exciting. Damn, my backribs are getting cold.) and, Jehovah, (is He getting senile or something?) we pray all of these things today in the name of Your Son who You sent to earth to save us (you know, I think He might have remembered doing that without you mentioning it) from the evildoer Satan (am I ever going to get to eat, here?) in the name of JesusChrist our Lord (thank dog, we're almost done) Amen.