What does a blackman say when he walks over a zebra crossing?
now you see me, now you dont, now you see mw, now you dont.......
Post your jokes here
by dm6 27 Replies latest social humour
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darthfader
Why are there no streakers in Italy?
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... wait
... for
... it
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Because there is an organ grinder on every corner...
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sizemik
A Russian woman married a Aussie bloke and they lived happily ever after in
Hervey Bay ... The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did
manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she
had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't
know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a
chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the
message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say
it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the
butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken
breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way
to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
Her husband speaks English! -
Amelia Ashton
EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY: After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain..'And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?''Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless Tit?'Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib
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sizemik
Explains my obsession with womens breasts I suppose.
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tenyearsafter
Adam is in the Garden when he speaks to God, "God, I am trying to understand why you made this fantastic, perfect Garden full of beauty and wonderful things to eat?"...God responds to Adam, "That Adam is so you would like it". Adam thinks a while and asks God, "God, I am trying to understand why you made Eve so beautiful...she is soft, curvy, smells good and stirs feelings in me I have never felt before...why did you do that?"...God responds, "That Adam is so you would like her". Adam thinks for a moment and asks God, "God, I don't mean to be picky, but why did you make Eve SO stupid?"...
God responds, "That Adam is so she would like you!"
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Open mind
Q: Why are these called the "LAST days?"
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A: Because they LAST & LAST & LAST & LAST.......
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Low-Key Lysmith
Why should you always take at least two JWs fishing with you?
Because if you take only one, he'll drink all of your beer.
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dm6
LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Terry
Write your own joke!
