it has been a hellacious five years for many in my family...especially my poor jw wife who could almost walk on water damm it...she is a saint.....and i so hate i have hurt her in so many ways....and i mean that.....but it has hell for me too since third grade as i never fit in..... or 1995 or both of course...that damm generation of 1914 thingy being kicked to the curb..... and me knowing it was now all BS since then just as i thought it was before......you mean really????......you mean i actually am going to grow old and die?!?!?!....no fukkin way?!?....what a mindfluck!!
and yet it bothers most jws not at all....take away a lifelong goal or dream or carrot stick hung before them and it does not even matter to them....and it is no big deal.....insane
so my youngest son....the golden boy....bethalite...miniserve...reg pioneer right out of high school.....dfd recently like me....he was slower than me to catch up with my rebel son who was kicked out at 17 and went through the hell too....and thank ME that i never ever shunned him and tried so hard to make him curious about other ideas......and thank all the others who did shun him......and especially my parents who did....
i mean who the fluck can shun themselves???.....their rule is a paper rule from jw/god....but dna may be from god...and that is an indisputable bond...maybe god decided that if a child is actually half a part of a mom and dad that there is just no way they could abandon them as it would be a part of them they were abandoning....what kind of parent could do that?????
my parents...thats who....i wish i was just a leper....but i am dead to them...and they will need me soon...my mom already has alzheimers dammit
i mean mom and dad can shun me because they are so old school die hards...and i get that...
but my son has made a hard decision....do i want my mom and my grandparents and all my friends?....or do i want to be free to use my own mind and thoughts and live life among NORMAL people and experience that!?!...and still have my brother and my dad and my few new friends???....and he has chosen...and tears of joy have flowed down my face since 5:37 PM...august 29, 2011....my dear son has made the tough choice like me....to start a new life....to be reborn....to even let his own mother go....just like i have
i have been sick at my stomach since he has been going to all the meetings the past few months....he did not want to lose it all either....but me and my older son have been hopeful for him...he has been making NORMAL (as opposed to WORDLY friends) friends....and a hot older sexual gf is also a GREAT motivation to leave!!!!!!!!!.....thank ME that the leaf does not fall far from the tree.....lol.......................................oompa
i can not describe the feeling i have right now....even better than he was born the first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!