Did you say nothin' when you should've asked why?

by THE GLADIATOR 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  THE GLADIATOR

  “I laid low when I could've stood high. I said nothin' when I should've asked why.
  I saw somethin' that I might've done and I didn't,
  A chance to speak my truth and I hid it. ”

  I’m a bit of a Jeff Bridges fan. Just ordered his new CD. These are a few lines from ‘Maybe I Missed the Point’ – from the crazy heart film. They struck a chord in me and made me think about my years spent as a Jehovah's Witness.

  Like many here I was compliant when I could have spoken up. I was afraid of being ostracized. It happened anyway. I finally spoke the truth and paid the price.

  Should've asked why sooner and wasted less years.

  Life is short. Be brave and be yourself.
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  troubled mind
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  leavingwt

  I had been at Bethel for less than two weeks, when I was confronted with such a situation.

  I had joined some Bethel co-workers, after hours, for a meal in a local resturaunt. As normal humans do, we griped a bit about specific issues in the Bindery.

  The day after this meal, I was cornered by two elders who demanded to know what our group had discussed at this meal. I was the new guy, so I was their best target.

  I didn't want to tell them anything, out of principle, because we were off the clock, off the WT property and speaking among ourselves.

  However, after 20 minutes of pressure, I confirmed to them the only thing they wanted to know: The conversation could be described as 'Negative', which to Bethel is BFD, as VP Biden might say.

  I should have told them to GFT, as VP Cheney might say. It would have ended my Bethel career, however.
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  james_woods

  Oh yes - I said something for sure. Over thirty years ago.

  It got me disfellowshipped for apostacy.
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  THE GLADIATOR

  Leavingwt – an interesting post. I remember you sharing this with us a few weeks ago. See I do read your posts.

  Sometimes discretion is the better part of valour. Good moves are usually planned. Tact, even apparent complicity, buys time while we plan to make the right move at the right time.

  Generals will allow sacrifice to gain an advantage in battle. Lawyers in court will hold back and play their cards close to their chest to gain maximum impact. Chess players do the same. Tactical patience is not surrender, whereas unconditional complicity is.
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  trailerfitter

  Gladiator, what did you say that was so hard hitting??
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  THE GLADIATOR

  Well as you ask trailerfitter...

  For some years after I left the org, my brothers family and my wife's family continued to see us. I even had my brother and his family along with the presiding Elder and his family all come and stay for the weekend, both all together and at separate times. Unheard with apostates as far as I know.

  I wrote a book about the Jehovah's Witness. I had not decided whether I would publish and be damned, knowing the problems it would cause. I told my wife not to mention the book to them. On one visit my wife, thinking she knew best, told them about the book, naively believing that they would not mind.

  It was like a bomb going off. After I was shunned I published the book. The rest is history, as they say.
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  Found Sheep

  I love JW books what is it called Gladiator?

  Yup I always bit my lip. One story that gets to me from time to time when I think about it: I was staying with my JW brother who has 2 small boys. It was the days of book studies and it was at his house. I think the Revelation book. his 3 year old was wispering to me, about the book to be honest. My brother takes him to a back bed room and put hot sauce down his throat. You could here him screaming!!!!

  NOw I speak my mindFS
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  AGuest

  Fortunately... or, perhaps, unfortunately, dear Glad (peace to you!)... keeping silent isn't one of my stronger qualities. As you may know, I tend to speak up... even in the face of real and perhaps severe opposition. This very thread has prompted me to ask myself WHY I do so... and I've come to the conclusion that, for some reason, I have a great aversion to lies, falsehoods... and cowardice.

  Could be because of my experiences as an African American, woman, child, wife, employee (but not necessarily in that order). It certainly is related to my experiences as a JW (but existed long before that). All situations where I saw where SOMEONE should have spoken up about SOMETHING... but didn't... make me feel ill. It literally turns my stomach... almost worst than spoiled milk... when I observe or am involved in a situation where someone SHOULD speak up... either to tell the truth, protect someone, or set a matter straight/right... and doesn't. I just cannot help myself... unless speaking up would cause further harm... to someone ELSE (but not necessarily myself).

  Seriously, I just don't get all of the "silence"... or how some can look themselves in the face knowing that their silence caused another so much pain and suffering, even death. I just don't get it. Because SILENCE... is often the GREATEST enemy.

  My $0.02... and, again, peace to you!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
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  THE GLADIATOR

  Found Sheep Thanks for sharing.

  You asked about the book. A free download is available. If you are interested, go to Lulu.com and type or paste into the search box the number 5456415

  You will be able to read the about the book before downloading it. The book was first published in 2002. This printed edition is still available from Amazom.co.uk but not shipped abroad. It was a success and has long since covered its costs. In 2006 it was updated and is still offered as a print to order book on Lulu.com.

  The free download has been made available as part of an awareness campaign. You are allowed to send the download on to whomever you want or direct them to the Lulu site.