by jwfacts 46 Replies latest jw experiences
Paul,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. As if that isn't difficult and painful enough, having to deal with the (perhaps well-intentioned, but nevertheless) thoughtless comments of others only adds insult to injury. If they only knew how they come across ....
One comment you made really struck me. You said, "Yet another asked if I had come back to the truth yet."
If any one asks me that I think I'll respond, "Yes I have 'come back to the truth', that's why I'm not a JW anymore!"
Daniel
"Yes I have 'come back to the truth', that's why I'm not a JW anymore!"
Great response. I will have to remember it for next time, and I am sure there will be a next time.
Paul, check your PMs
Thanks for sharing......and my condolences.
I was in a similar situation many years ago. Only......I was the uber witness telling one of my siblings to get their act together because "the time left is short". Oh the regret I have for being so naive.
I am sorry for you, dear JWFacts (peace to you!)... that you had to be subjected to such rudeness and lack of love. I am sorry for your mother for the rude(r) awakening she will most probably receive when she realizes that "they" aren't as "there" for her as she thinks they are (when she needs them). I feel most sorry, though, for the very blind and hard-hearted people who treated you such... and will probably treat your mother such. Indeed, I would much rather be you... and her... and undergo what the two of you have/will... than those from who it came/comes... when the "lights" come on. I don't think your pain will even compare to the horrible pain THEY will feel... when their "nakedness" is exposed. Then, they will TRULY "see" themselves... and the darkness that is in them... and neither is going to be easy to look at, by any stretch.
Again, I am glad that you and your dad had the time, interchanges... and love for each other... that you did.
Again, peace to you!
A slave of Christ,
CA
btt
Paul, I've only just found this thread. I wanted to add my condolences once more, and tell you how brave I think you are for putting yourself through all that out of respect for your father. Some of the things that were said to you were truly shocking, and you did really well to bite your tongue. I think I would have struggled because I seem to get wound up quite easily at times, one of my many flaws.
I was 21 when my Mum died, and one of the things I really hated was when brothers/sisters who had already lost either of their parents said "I know how you feel". NOBODY knows how you feel when you lose your mother or father, since nobody has had the relationship/experiences that you have had, or knew the person in the way that you did. The worst was when one brother who didn't even know me, but who found out about my loss in conversation, told me that he "knew" how I felt. The brother in question had a wife and children, and the parent who he had lost had died after seeing both his wedding and the birth of his children. My mum never witnessed my wedding (never even met my wife) and will never see her grandchildren. How could he possibly know how I felt? I somehow managed to bite my lip at the time, not sure how. I wish people would engage their brain cells before speaking to somebody who has just been bereaved of someone who is a major part of their lives. It's the worst possible time to say something careless and insensitive. You did so well.
It is a shame that people do not feel able to extend compassion at such a sad event. They will not see how inappropriate their statements are because in JW land there is no compromise and no room for individual thought. Not to be allowed to attend the wake is ridiculous in any other setting you would be expected to attend and would be missed if absent. It is occasions such as this that JWs reveal the flaws of their religion in all their glory using these events to punish others is childish and pointless. Rather than showing love they are showing their cruelty and pharisaic origins.
I am sorry about your mum, she is emotional right now and with all the reinforcement going on around the funeral it is unsurprising that she has fallen back to the party line. I don't think this would be what your Dad would wish and I hope when things calm down a bit she can be more compassionate. It is her loss and the religion forces her to feel she must make this sacrifice.
