CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??
That would be nice . . .
While we're waiting . . . may I recommend this book? . . . It's a damn good read.
by cedars 80 Replies latest jw friends
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??
That would be nice . . .
While we're waiting . . . may I recommend this book? . . . It's a damn good read.
I think Lady Lee is doing her job. Looks like she did a lot of research. I do however think that starting out a paragraph with "What kind of scam are you running" may have been a little too harsh?
I am sure it was posted on the board instead of an E mail was out of concern that you may try to contact the members in private and ask for funding.
You also can't expect perfection on a Ex JW board as many have been hurt by the org and family mambers and come here to vent and hopefully a friendly pat on the back and a hug..they aren't concerned with surveys that may or may not get media attention. So you have to bear with them and not take it personal.
I am glad you are doing something constructive and hope it works out. I have to admit I am a skeptic like Lady Lee but have seen lately where the media has been paying attention to what the ex JW's have to say.
Best of luck in your survey and don't give up. You have to expect that some may not be as enthusiastic towards it as you may be..and may be skeptical. Fearing exposure is a valid concern of some here..you have to respect that.
Also if the mods allow one person to ask for funding the board would slowly loose it's purpose..Many have complained about this in the past and may be the motive for Lady Lee's addressing the issue as she did.
JMO Snoozy
For those of you who think I am being a pain in the neck about this. . . I have been here a very long time and seen many things. As a mod I get to see a lot of what happens behind the scenes which most of you don't get to see. In this situation you are seeing only one part of the drama.
There have been many people who came here with their mission to change things. Often they believed their mission was so important that they should be exceptions to the rule. Recently we have seen a few examples of this kind of person but there have been many over the years
I have yet to see Simon "negotiate" with people. He makes his decision and that is it. The person pleads and begs and Simon stops listening. If they keep it up Simon stops them from posting. Pleading and begging with Simon are not "negotiations". Simon is a pretty good judge of character and he has seen just about everything anyone could pull on this forum and on others before JWD/JWN. I don't always agree with Simon and he certainly doesn't always agree with me. But I know when to shut up and stop asking him about something.
My "job" (a volunteer job) here is to make sure the posters don't cause too much trouble, remove some threads off the board or move them into ADMIN until Simon can look at them and decide whether they should go back on the board, and inform Simon about problems. I don't make final decisions on anything.
In this case 2 threads were moved off the board. Each time cedars was told the matter was in Simon's hands. Instead of waiting for a decisions cedars just went ahead and started a third thread which was locked. When I locked that one off he started a fourth thrread which he said I should lock and now he has a fifth thread. He just refuses to wait. Or if Simon has responded to him he refuses to accept the decision.
For me the issue is no longer about the money or about the never-ending survey(s). It is about attitude and impatience and believing your rights shoudl be above the rights of anyone else.
I think I've missed all the excitement. Totally missed all this going on!
An apology to cedars.
There are 3 of his threads that were moved into Moderatos. The fourth thread was by N. Drew and that thread was locked but is still ont he board. This is the 4th thread started by cedars not the 5th.
While I am all for what cedars is/was trying to do, if asking for money on the board is a "no-no" then that's that.
The rule isn't really rocket science. Obey it. Don't ask for money on the board.
That said, accusations of running a scam and other disparaging remarks are unbecoming. Why not just say: "no asking for money on the board, period, thread closed," and leave it at that?
Mad - because this has raised a lot of other issues involved and that the posters here are being told one thing while in PMs I am getting something quite different.
The money has been returned - Great Thank you cedars for that.
In the past people have not gotten their money or objects (I think it was earrings but I could be wrong) back. And nothing was done with the money. The people disappeared or their cause was forgotten.
Now if cedars had started his survey on that site and then came and said he would have to continue the survey some other way because he couldn't afford it I would not have said boo about this. That would have been the reasonable thing to do when you sign up for 3 months (the first survey was supposed to go until Dec 31) or a year of something and you know you can't afford it.
This board has also had a long history of people who say one thing and fabricate stories (not saying cedars is doing that in any way) but I'm saying it has been done and anyone who has been here for at least a year knows and has seen this happen here.
The rules aren't hard. You have the posting guidelines below but when you register for almost anything on the internet there is a Terms of Use (link at the bottom of every page) document that you have to read and agree to. I rarely read them but they are well worth reading every now and then.
My final concern is that when cedars was told that the matter had been referred to Simon he should have said exactly that and that he would wait to see what Simon said. Instead he told the board that he was in "negotiations" with the board owner. But just a few minutes ago he told me that he still had no reply from Simon. So which is it? I really don't like it when people seem to be playing games with words and saying one thing publicly and another behind the scenes.
So am I taking a hard line. Yes but remember I see two differnet stories here and you don't
I thought I should break my silence briefly to make the following statement:
I wholly and categorically apologize for trespassing item 6 of the Posting Guidelines by providing a PayPal address by which those who had expressed an interest in helping to fund my survey could do so. This was an extremely ill-advised action on my part. I have already apologized to Lady Lee and Simon for this, and will continue to apologize to anybody who feels personally affronted by my conduct in this matter. I also apologize for any similarly-inadvertent trespassing of item 11. This is a matter of sincere regret on my part.
I regret the comments that I made on this post about Lady Lee's work as a moderator. Despite any momentary lapse in her judgment regarding the scamming issue in not running her concerns past me first, she gives of her time voluntarily and makes a notable contribution towards making this forum a safer place for all concerned. Whilst some of her comments that were made were unfortunate and a cause of offence to me personally, I cannot excuse the way I reacted, and I also apologize for this whole-heartedly, and extend the hand of friendship to Lady Lee.
cedars
Many things were said. I never meant that you were scamming people. But far too many times that is exactly what has happened when people start asking for money. So we tend to jump on it right away.
Whether it was money or a story or a cause - well many of us have been scammed before. We trusted when we didn't know the whole story and we all got burned as JWs.
As a result of what others have done the alarms went off when I saw your request. Alarms also went off when I see you post one thing here and something else to me in PMs.
Add to that the fact that you are new here so we don't know you very well.
So that is where I am coming from. Too many alarms and my trust evaporates and I become very wary of a person.
Thank you for your apology and I already gave you mine above.
If you really want to carry on with the survey then find a way to do it either outof your pocket or find a free service that gives you what you need even if that means you have to change a few things.
Hello Lady Lee, thanks. Glad we've sorted things out!
Matter closed.
Please keep up the good work.