The churches that I have gone to so far have not even mentioned singleness, Watchtower Society is about the only one I can think of, I do see the benefits of being single, even on $10 an hour I am able to support myself, on the flip side this is off topic somewhat, the very first time I got disfellowshipped I had a girlfriend outside the society, she wanted to meet my parents, but my parents told me they would call the police if I brought her over, how stupid is that, I could have wound up married but the JW religion complicates everything, now that I am considered apostate by family if I ever did meet a girl I would not be able to introduce her to my parents.
Encouraging sigleness
by Dudu 36 Replies latest social relationships
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Dudu
i agree with serenitynow ... one thing is to wait the right person / moment to intimate with someone, but at some point is plain tragic!!
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Dudu
andys: I know a brother who was a close friend, he had some deep emotional issues, and when he finally found a nice worldly girl who understood what he was going through his family made him break up with she ... the poor guy is still suffering a lot
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NewChapter
Actually, that's one thing I appreciate. Before the WT, I never even considered the possiblity of being single. I do better that way. However MY single means a boyfriend I can send home. LOL They can take their moral code and shove it.
NC
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Dudu
I love your singleness newchapter :)
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shopaholic
Their pushing of singleness is disgusting. It's especially bad for the women in the cult. After a certain age, virginity goes from being nice and noble, to being just plain tragic.
I could not agree more. I lost my best young and fertile years to pioneering (more than a decade). Right now, I'm going for mine on all levels. My saving grace was going to university right after high school and starting a career which I held on to while pioneering although I was the object of much ridicule. However, I do not regret the time spent overseas but wish that I done it for the Peace Corps or some other worthy organization.
So true that if you decide to get married it is made to look like you gave in to some type of weakness. While I agree that you need time in early adulthood to figure out who you are, the JW view of singleness is not natural. I know male and female virgins in their 30s, 40s and 50s and they are put on a pedestal because of holding on to their gift of singleness. Whatever! Most of these folks are miserable and carry the guilt from their "secret sin" of "loving themselves". It really is just plain tragic.
A therapist said it best, "You need to exhale and embrace the natural cycles of life."
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Dudu
i feel you shopaholic ........... and i like a lot the therapist saying ... one thing is try to know yourself while early 20 s and another is to be virgin at 50 ...
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ambersun
This reminds me of a particular talk on staying single which sticks out in my mind as being one of the most irresponsible and shocking talks I have ever heard. I think it was at the 1969 International Assembly at Wembley but can't be certain.
The speaker said that brothers and sisters who found it impossible to remain single were wasting valuable time searching for a suitable marriage partner which was interfering with their worship and pioneering. There was only ONE requirement for a JW and that was to find another JW who was as spiritually minded as yourself. Nothing else mattered. You will automatically be compatable by your mutual love of the 'Truth'. Then just get married and pioneer together, maybe even become missionaries serving where the need was greatest.
He made no mention of love or even being remotely physically attracted to each other, let alone a courtship. No, if you really can't stay single then just marry anyone, as long as they are strong in the 'Truth' It seemed to me that all the Society was concerned about was marrying you off to the nearest single brother or sister to prevent you from committing fornication.
I was appalled and felt quite sick. There was one single brother who made it obvious he fancied me but he gave me the creeps and the thought of being married off to him filled me with horror. He must have been rubbing his hands together with glee listening to that talk! Fortunately, I found someone else who was lovely. We fell in love and are still together today, free from the Borg and its influences thank goodness!!!
How many disastrous marriages took place as a result of that totally irresponsible talk I wonder
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ziddina
I think the Watchtower's antipathy towards marriage started with Russell's divorce, and was reinforced by that drunken buffoon, Rutherford, who totally ignored his wife and child in favor of a mistress - or mistresses - and a long line of whores - er, "ladies of easy morals"...
Rutherford was well-known to have hated the institution of marriage...
And after he set the tone, the consecutive imbeciles in charge just carried on the tradition, reassuring themselves that "singleness" [or should that be, "sigleness"? - teasing!!] is "Christian", because it keeps people focused on doing "Jehovah's" will...
Or so thoroughly miserable that they can't think clearly enough to get the hell out of the cult...
Zid
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discreetslave
(1 Timothy 4:1-3) 4 However, the inspired utterance says definitely that in later periods of time some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to misleading inspired utterances and teachings of demons, 2 by the hypocrisy of men who speak lies, marked in their conscience as with a branding iron; 3 forbidding to marry, commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be partaken of with thanksgiving by those who have faith and accurately know the truth. . .
Before I even woke up as a JW I remember readiing this and asking my husband if the WT was guilty of breaking this command. Even though they don't forbid it they heavily encourage youths to remain single & childless. To me it seemed like a modified version of Catholic celibacy.