JWs Summed Up in One Sentence! Contribute Please!

I'll go first:

"We can't smoke pot with him... he's disfellowshipped!"

PLEASE KEEP 'EM COMING! I wanna see more. Be creative and witty. ONLY RULE: ONE SENTENCE!

"I'm cool with sex, drugs and parties but I don't f*ck with demonized sh*t!"

The bible says we should abstain from blood, but it's ok if we redefine "blood" to be "whole blood".

Oh, and I don't know why I'm full. I mean I abstained from eating a whole pizza and a whole six pack of beer last night.

(It's only two sentences, but I can't count so well. Was that 606 or 607 BCE?")

Governing Body worshippers.

...or

An antichrist pyramid business posing as a religion to obtain power and a cosy life for the 7 paedophile protecting leaders in Brooklyn.

...or

False prophets making vast profit for the 7 muppets in NY.

...or

The delusional order of the drones.

Contribute, please. (Re credit card machines)

Stepford Revisited

"It's Satan's system-- that's the problem!"

How about:

"Seriously misled and so going absolutely nowhere because we're 'tacking'... in place..."

Or...

"In the end, two 'new light' steps forward... and two 'new light' step back... means you're still standing in the exact same place..."

Wait, Wait! I know! -

"Louie! Louie! DON'T LOOK AT THE [NEW] LIGHT!" "I can't HELP it; it's so BEYOOTEEFULL!" (Okay, that two sentences, but...)

How's that, dear DK (peace to you!?

Peace!

SA, on her own...

We're just imperfect men who make mistakes; obey our every word or God will kill you.

(I cheated by using a semicolon)

Nobody else took it, so it's ours.