My teen daughter is being pressured to get baptized :(

by lola-rabbit 26 Replies latest social family

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  pbrow

  hey lola,

  I think you are on the right track with trying to get her involved with school activities and friends outside of the org. I would keep focused on the positive things like debate, sports, student council and all the other opportunities that you can. If you can help pop the witness bubble I think kids will not choose to be baptized in the religion.

  It is not my intent for this to be judgemental towards you lola, maybe just as a word of precaution to those going through a similar situation. My take is if you have young children and a spouse or ex-spouse that is a beleiver you CANNOT fade! If you fade, you make the JW life normal and as a former born-in, let me tell you that is what makes it so hard to get out when your older. Get fully out! I agree with biblestudent, do birthdays, christmas and show her that these things are about family traditions, not 3000 year old pagan customs. Get out and let your kids see first hand the power that personal conviction can have. My goal is that my kids will not choose to be baptized members. That goal is worth more than losing any friendship or family members (and I have lost them) that I had in the organization. If you play defensive and sit on the wall and hide your true feelings you are showing your kids (at least for the time being) that the JW life IS the normal life.

  pbrow
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  lola-rabbit

  Thanks for all your advise... but as you all know, I'm on that wall and just sooooo scared of what will happen if I stop all at once? Will my old parents have a heart attack and die from the pain? I havent gone to meeting in a month now, but to stop completely scares me. I'm not sure if that is what is best for my daughters?
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  OnTheWayOut

  While I cannot possibly know your situation and the feelings of all involved, I do know that breaking the cycle "AT ALL COSTS" is what is best for your daughters.

  If you have to take all the heat upon yourself, your daughter should be prevented from being baptized into the lie of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  I do not simply suggest throwing yourself on a live grenade, but if that were the only thing preventing her baptism, then do so. Get her a copy of CRISIS of CONSCIENCE and show her jwfacts.com and whatever else will help her see that WTS is a lie.

  I concur with the following:

  Get fully out! I agree with biblestudent, do birthdays, christmas and show her that these things are about family traditions, not 3000 year old pagan customs. Get out and let your kids see first hand the power that personal conviction can have.

  If someone can take their daughters into confidence and allow them to be "normal" without telling Dad and other family what they know about WTS, that is a slim possibility. But typically, to really help them, you have to DA/DF and take all that heat upon yourself and let them enjoy the real life. It's a tough road.
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  DesirousOfChange

  I would stress her age as an issue -- which is something a 15yo doesn't want to hear. They think they are all grown up.

  Try to mention as many young people that you know who got baptised early, then ended up getting DFd at an early age. Esp those who found it too hard to come back. Stress that this isn't because they were SO BAD, but because they are not allowed any support from the loving JW Network. Much easier to wait until your (her) feet are more "solid in the Truth".

  Don't be surprised if she goes ahead with it and doesn't tell you.

  DOC
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  nugget

  I can appreciate your concerns at 15 she is too young to take a step that can have such profound consequences on her life. how does she feel about it herself is she anxious to be baptised and if so why? If she wants to be baptised then remind her that she is about to enter a challenging time of life and whilst baptism is thought to be a protection it can be the opposite. No one intends to sin but when you are young you sometimes are not totally in control, if she is baptised it could result in her being shunned by those she loves. Remind her that you love her unconditionally and nothing she does would make you take that step, but others will make their own choices.

  Also baptism is an outward demonstration of a personnal dedication to Jehovah. She can make a dedication any time Jehovah will know what is in her heart. The baptism is to an organisation and not to god and therefore is less significant and can wait. It is not enough to accept the truth you also have to reject the world and until you have matured mentally and can understand what that means you do not know what you are rejecting.

  If your husband is pressuring her then tell him that you do not approve of young teens getting baptised any more than you would want your daughter getting married, buying alcohol or driving a car. As you are not together and as she has had disruption in her life she needs to be given time to make this decision. Jehovah knows what is in her heart there is no need to rush her into things.

  Or tell your husband that he needs to spend quality time with your daughter outside of the kingdom hall and switch visiting day to Saturday and make alternative plans for Sundays.
• 

  cdamouse

  Who is pressuring her? And yes God will tell her when she is ready, no one else. When she is ready, she will let you know. I get a kick out of they judge the baptism by what Christ did LOL.... It doesn't matter, JW use the examples of what Christ did...so why get married, OMG!!! Christ didn't get married, so we shouldn't either. ALL religions pick and choose what to follow. Baptism is ordered by God when the person is ready, at any age, when the person is called to be baptized, not sooner. Being baptized has nothing to do with religion..Religion seperates Gods people. Baptize your own daughter, in the name of God, Christ and the Holy Spirit. John the Baptist was a MAN nothing special other than he was a god fearing man. Has not ordained, or a preacher, an overseerer, NOTHING but a flesh and blood man. Have your child, when ready, baptized as a "Christian"...meaning Christ like, not as a JW. Was Christ baptized as a JW? NO!!! Humans of flesh and blood make it soooo dang difficult trying to figure out what the bible really says. Yes I am a Christian, but in the hundreds of years, how many times has MAN changed the bible to serve HIS purpose, not Our Lord and Heavenly Father. Don't tell me the Bible is 100% Gods word. If any one believes that, than you are fools. So if you want to do the right thing by your child, wait till she comes to you about it. And do it yourself! You can't go wrong if you do it in the name of Jehovah (God), Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Hun pray about it...DON'T ask MAN what to do, especially online! If you truly believe in Christ dying for your sins, and God is all powerful, then he will answer you. If you don't believe GOD himself won't answer you, then you doubt him as being all powerful.
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  In

  You know what - a DUB baptism Is NOT a Christian baptism, y'know "in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit"

  It's just a baptism into the corporation. It's show; flash; BLING

  SOOOOO... if it takes some of the pressure off of her, why not? Gets her out of the spotlight!