(((((((FLOWER))))))) You are in a good place to continue in your recovery of the pain of abandonment and rejection. You won't find that here. Differing opinions and sometimes bickering but I think all here have gone through thier private wounds over Watchtower abuse in all it's forms. It is not a shameful thing to go to a hospital feeling dispair. In fact it is the strong ones who know they need help in healing and changing self destructive behaviors, who choose in patient therapy for their recovery. Do you know how many dubs spend thier lives denying their anger and pain through their addictive self destructive dependence of the Watchtower? The countless hours at meetings field service, assemblies, and dub gatherings, and same conversations keep them from looking into themselves. I too was abandoned by parents, and that pain that carries through to adulthood can be denied many years. For me the ultimate abandonment and betrayal was of friends and family in the "TRUTH". It hurt deeply and still does. But coming through the other side of such experience helps to make you stronger when you work through the pain. While you do that this board is a place where you can have kind of online group therapy. and find some personal validation. Going through what you have gone through will help you feel compassion. Something that seems to be so evident here on this board. I believe out of bad things always comes good, and we learn and grow in the process. Consider yourself the fortunate one because you have taken the brave step of looking at the Watchtower, your relationship with it and the issues you have with it and its connection to your parental abandonment issues with your father. Trust your feelings and keep communicating with those you feel comfortable with. A good book that was very comforting to me in the beginning of my recovery was by Melody Beatty "Journey from the Heart". I wish you peace and healing.
