Hypocrites.....grrrrrrr

by Tatiana 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Lee

  Bravo for speaking up and calling him on his behavior.

  You seem quite upset that you "lost" it and got angry. I have a question. We all know how programmed we were. And that the programming stays a long time and often in ways that surprise us. Is it possible that by calling him on his behavior you were defending the religion. Think about it. We all know that the standards are impossible. But we were expected not only to live them but preach them. I know that after I left I defended them for years even after I learned the real truth about them. It has been 17 years and I still expect a certain standard of behavior from JWs. Maybe this is just crap and you were simply calling him on his hypocracy. But it might be something to think about.

  On the other hand you could just ignore this but at any rate bravo for having the lack of control to speak up. Too much control and we would be just like them - mind controlled and thought-less

  Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
  Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
  Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
  Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002
• 

  Frenchy

  April:
  I think that your indignation was justified. First of all, your initial comment was nothing that warranted his outburst. While a witness I heard many such remarks and it only amused me.

  We should always try to maintain control of our composure but we are, after all, just human so... You know what's right and wrong and in the end you will make the right decision about whether or not you should apologize for the WAY you responded to his assinine remark. We all know he deserved to be told something.
• 

  DB

  Tatiana, the elders reproving you privately for pursuing modeling is just one more example of the pharisaic attitude that permiates the entire organization. I can understand why you were so hurt, and why you are upset now.

  A (somewhat) related experience - there is a Witness guy I know, good friend of mine, who mentioned that, at work, all the guys would always stop to oggle this one very immodestly dressed employee. The guys would literally stop what they were doing to check her out (she made delivered mail to various departments, and the guys gave her the nickname "The Mail Goddess". Well, guess what? Yep, she's a Witness. And there at her place of work, she is well-known for her immodest attire.

  For that guy in your place of work, I'm sure he is all sold on the persecution mentality that the Witnesses have always pushed. He should have just laughed at what was a funny joke by you. And as you intimate, he certainly had no business complaining, seeing how he dresses and carries himself.
• 

  think41self

  ((((April))))

  I know exactly how you feel. I'm not a confrontational person either, and am learning how to express my anger without "losing it". Honestly though, it doesn't sound to me like you "lost" it. So you called him on his dress and behavior...and for claiming to be a witness when you can see with your own eyes he's not a good one.

  In my opinion, you don't owe him an apology. He was out of line for reacting inappropriately to a little joke. As a witness, how many times does he have to hear jokes like that? I heard them all the time, and still do. After a while, I thought they were funny.

  Anyway, I'm proud of you. You called it like it was.

  think41self

  She had the vocabulary of a brothel owner specializing in service to sailors with Tourette's syndrome
• 

  Lari

  April, again, Bravo.

  Ok, maybe it was little control deficit but hey, like Lady Lee pointed out, too much control and we are like them.

  I know you still feel upset right now but - Thanks for the story. I found reading it empowering. Too many times I put up with JW crap because, in my mind I still think of myself as the one doing wrong. So I must do penance or something.

  Next time maybe I'll have a little more guts, thanks to you.

  Love is a dish best served - hell, anytime!
• 

  amccullough

  First, on using the JW joke as a sales opener. I would not recommend it. A religous joke like that comes across as unprofessional and throws flags up right away that makes people think "oh brother, a snake oil salesman." The benefits of it are minimal and the chance of it backfiring are too great.

  Second, I can understand your reaction. When you expect people to laugh and then you have someone lash out at you can be a shocker and its easy to react before thinking it out. From his perspective though, perhaps his grandmother is a JW and he knows a bit about it and considers himself one. Or perhaps he is a hypocritical JW. Either way he was obviously offended by the religous joke. Ridiculing him in front of people for being offended at a derogatory religous joke does seem quite rash. I think an apology and explanation would be a very kind thing to do, and perhaps you will get the same from him in return. If you don't like the judgemental attitude of the JWs then be sure to act exactly the opposite.

  I'm not surprised with all the "hurrahs" and "go get 'em" from this peanut gallery. Its actually quite scary. I dread the thought of JWs being outlawed by a facsist government, I'm sure all the voluntary executioners will come from this DB.
• 

  teenyuck

  Great job April! I wish I could come up with one liners like that!

  amccullough-please use your time in the door to door ministry...the US will never outlaw the JW's as you seem to wish. Quit being a martyr.

  April...please do not offer that hypocritical idiot an apology. You do not need to offer a hypocrit an apology.

  If your boss or manager brings up the JW issue I would explain that you were indeed one, however, you were shocked by the outfit of your coworker. Explain that a true JW would never dress so immodestly and you were caught off guard by his proclimation.
• 

  borgfree

  I think you were right April. I have a very nice JW woman working for me. She is catching on that I know too much, but she has continued to be very nice. I am getting a little more free talking to her since she will be leaving at the end of this month. If she were mean or confrontational I would probably be a lot different toward her, but since she is so nice and kind I respond that way.

  Borgfree

  "A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents, but rather because its opponents die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it." Max Planck
• 

  plmkrzy

  I can't imagine any reason why you should apoligize to him. Jumping up and acting offended was stupid on his part. I would only be concerned with how you boss might feel about it if you were like yelling and scaring people or something like that.
• 

  ashitaka

  AMC,

  we have every right to be angry...because we are speaking from experience.

  I wouldn't execute ONE witness. I want all people just to be happy. If they're happy as JW's, fine, but they have no right to slander people through shunning, or control people through the use of 'stumbling' and 'conscience'.

  We can be pissed and verbally lash them if we want. It's all our right to be pissed and to voice our opinion.

  ashi