How bad have you wanted to write "The DA Letter"?

by RayPublisher 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  paladin

  I'm in the fading process at present but will walk away in the near future. I will not write a DA letter due to family still in.
• 

  White Dove

  I want to but still have family in.

  Although my family is over 1,000 miles away, I'm afraid that the news would somehow get back to them.
• 

  diamondiiz

  letter is playing by THEIR rules

  Depends how you view it. They expected me to write one to RCC when I was duped into the cult so in return I felt it was a pleasure writing one to them on my departure - it had nothing to do with their rules the second time. Personally, non of my half of the family are in the cult, while the entire other half is which may have made it easier to DA myself (I don't know how it would have been, had my side of the family were dubs, but possibly no difference). Also if someone wants to shun me, so be it, I'm not the one to cry over it as I'm in the position that I don't need their help and I sure won't help those that shun me (speaking of the inlaws) nor will I allow my kids visit them. After all, do I need people that will choose strangers over family? Not really. IMO, respect is earned not inherited.
• 

  wobble

  I am pleased that I did not write one, though I went through a stage of wishing to so so much, so that I could live my life without looking over my shoulder.

  The problem is that I know I would still have "looked over my shoulder" in that I would not want the Dubs saying stuff like "he only left so he could put up a Christmas tree" etc etc

  As it is I am free to speak to any member of my family who is a Jw, and any of the old JW acquaintances.

  I am often able to plant a seed , and I am in a position to be really supportive to any who wish to fade.

  I do not recognize them as having the right to my resignation, I did not join the religion as it is today, I was baptised in 1962, it is nothing like it was then, nothing. (Well, except being wrong on everything, they were then as well)

  If I were going to write one I would be tempted to do a Groucho Marx: "Dear Sirs, I wish to resign from your religion as I do not wish to be a member of a religion that would have someone like me ".

  Groucho wrote that to a club, not a religion, the problem with even that bit of piss-taking is that the cult-think would kick in and they would take it as a confession of gross sin.

  My advice is do not give them the satisfaction of closure, they do not deserve it, remain an inactive one, even if you are silent, by your non-support you are pointing the finger and saying there is something wrong with the religion, by following their rules and DA'ing you are admitting to them ,in their mind, that there is something wrong with you.
• 

  Diest

  I want to, but I wont. I faded, so my family can still talk to me.
• 

  RayPublisher

  Thanks all for the balanced and thoughtful advice.

  I have a lot of people I want to help by being a fader and not being marginalized. Just got a call tonight from an asleep brother that wants to know if I can come over and we talk because he said a lot of "junk" has been going on and he wants my advice on it...He knows my past and about being an elder for all the years before I stepped down and I've found that sometimes these ones want an "un-elder" to talk to as they will be a lot safer and not feel judged.

  There's many sincere Dubs that have been duped and guilted along for too long and I can step up and do what I can with what gifts I still have.
• 

  wobble

  Good on yer Ray !