by Voices 14 Replies latest jw friends
What was the best joke YOU ever heard as you were growing up?
In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"
What kind of bees give milk?
Boo bees
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung
Whats bruce lee's favorite drink? WATAAAAAR!
Now wait, that wasn't very funny.
Did you hear the one about the nudist who ran into the church?
The police caught him by the organ.
What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's last movement
An outsopken atheist was taking a stroll through the forest when a bear started chasing him. "oh my god!" yelled the man and took off running. The bear caught up to him and barreled into the man who fell to ground, the bear put a mighty paw on the man's chest and lowered his mouth. "oh god oh god " the man cried out. Just then a white cloud desended and the man and the bear looked up at it. A voice called out "why did you forsake me atheist and speak out against me all of these years?"
"I didn't know you exsisted god............. I'm sorry".
The bear was fasinated with the cloud and voice and second by second he relaxed and gently stroked the man's chest, a bear smile on his face. Then he looked up at the cloud and spoke.
"Lord.........thank you for the food you've provided me".
Ten Priests are killed in an accident & arrive at the Pearly Gates.
St Peter says "If any of you are paedophiles, go to Hell!"
Nine of them start walking away.
St Peter shouts "Take the deaf one with you!"
My favourite joke growing up was:
Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.
Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Cat Woman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what was happening."
So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.
Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Woman said: "Did you hear something?"
"No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"
3M :)
How do you catch a unique rabbit? You-neek-up on it.
