I posted this on another thread and feel itis appropriate here ;)
Unbeknowst to most, Jesus was really a Shaolin Monk, trained in the ancient art of Tang Lang Gung Fu ( Praying mantis for those that don't habla), He taught this most ancient and dealy art to his followers who became reknown for their MA prowess !!
The most famed were:
Peter "Iron Crotch" Simon and the Brothers James "thunder kick" Zebedee and John "Bitch Slap" Zebedee !
It was widely rumoured that two others were taught the ancient art via mystic revelation from Christ ( Christ means Mantis in Ancient gibberish) and they were Paul "The Gentile crusher" Taurus and James "Crotch snipper" Son of Joesph ( rumoured to be the brother of Jesus).
Jesus was put to death for saying that his kung fu was stronger than the kung fu of the locals - supposedly the Roman authorites were mislead by Hebrew Ninjas into believing the Christ was thinking of an open reblion using this more deadly of arts !
Many centuries past and the art spread through out the area, its practioners we reknown for their lack of fear, their ability to use a staff called "the cross" and the use of flat bread as a projectile weapon ! ( inner teachings of this sect say that Christs chi endows this flat bread with mystical qualities !).
While they did their best to keep this secret art hidden, eventually the Romans found out and after using 12 masters of the inner circle to defeat an army on the battlefield, the emperor Contstantine made this system of hand-to-hand combat the national fighting system in the Roman Empire !!
Much to the sorrow of the obsolete gladiator class !
