I have told a couple of people on the board, thru E-mail, who I am, who my mother and family are. I hope what I am about to post will not get my mother in trouble.
My mother met a man about 24 years ago. He is worldly. He was prominent in his field of work. He was single-never married. My mother is an interior designer. He needed someone to go to charity events and she needed to drum up business so the charity events, with many wealthy people seemed like a great idea. They dated for about 6 years. I am sure that they never "fornicated." My mother told me EVERYTHING that happened on each date....TMI (Too Much Information for a 13 year old)
Anyway, over the years, this man was very generous to my mother. Gifts etc. He gave me his old car when I was 17. It was a 1965 Barracuda. Perfect condition. It had about 2500 original miles on it. He rarely drove. He lived across the street from a museum he worked at. He was the director of a museum for birds. The museum is on the Lake Michigan shore, attached to Lincoln Park Zoo. Anyone who has been to Chicago probably heard of Lincoln Park Zoo. Major zoo in the heart of downtown Chicago.
My mother lost touch with him for a while. She got in touch with him in the early 90's. He was about 80 at that point. My mother just turned 63.
He was sickly and old! He was retired and basically never left his high rise condo. The condo is on the lake shore and prime real estate. This is important later.
When my mother saw how he was living, she found a Polish nurse to come in and take care of him. My mother speaks fluent Polish and her friend does not. The nurse stayed with him during the day.
About 1 1/2 years ago, the nurse was late and the old man wanted to go outside and walk. He ended up tripping and breaking his neck! He lived...he some how walked down stairs and asked the door man to call him a cab...he knew something was wrong but not sure. He took a cab to the hospital and they discovered be broke his neck.
At this point the docs said he needed round the clock care. My mother and he made a deal. He would move in with her and he would sign his condo over to her. (The condo, in its terrible original 1963 condition, was worth about 250K; he paid 35,000 in 1963)
My mother agreed. He has pension and social security that cover the cost of food and nursing. Another nurse was found and he has round the clock care. This arrangement is costing my mother nothing.
Now the blood problem. He became ill about 1 month ago. The nurse was plying him with food. He ate everything. Apparently, when someone is that old and frail it is odd to eat so much and does some crazy things to their system. He was jaundiced and could not defecate for three weeks. (again TMI)
My mother finally took him to the doctor last week. They admitted him to the hospital. They gave him two pints of blood. The doc said he needed it because his platelets were so low.
I spoke to my mother and asked how she reconciled her conscience with giving him blood...she said since she is not his legal guardian and does not have power of attorney, the doctors made the decision, so it did not bother her at all.
I have told my mother that I want a blood transfusion in case of an emergency. She disagrees, however, since my husband has first say, I told her she cannot fight it.
I am disgusted. As children she made it clear that the blood issue was critical to her beliefs. Now, with the signing of a deed and her dear friend being "worldly" she has no qualms about allowing blood.
I have bitten my tounge many times about this arrangement. My mother has been given an incredible piece of property. She renovated it and spent about 75k to do it. It had lead paint and asbestos was found in the walls. Had to strip out everything and start fresh. She is still ahead of the game, however, so to speak. Over the years, she had many clients for her design business; all due to her connection with this man.
I just cannot get over how she blithly approves blood for someone who is worldly. I am proud of her helping him, however, she is doing it for a price. She would not have done this if he were poor and had no pension. She admitted this to me.
Sorry for the length....after reading AlanF's post, I just had to get this off my chest.