Physical discipline works on some kids. Doesn't work on others. My mother rarely would spank me. All she had to do was put the threat there and I knew to get in line. My dad never hit me. All he had to do was give me "the look" and I knew what was up.
Millions now living with emotional scars..... scars that will never die.
by koolaid-man 18 Replies latest jw friends
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koolaid-man
Unthank is coming on after the trial....... maybe next week.
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N.drew
AGuest thanks for sharing! I love getting to know you!
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AGuest
Just glimpse, dear N.drew (peace to you, dear one!)... just a glimpse. I am SO multifaceted... it would make your lovely little head swim - LOLOLOL!
Uh, I don't think so, dear KM (again, peace to you!)... as I am simply not "qualified" to help of the people harmed by the WTBTS... other than to send them to my Lord (or recommend they get professional counseling). Even so, I probably wouldn't do things your way and so since it's your "show" I will leave things to you and your method(s), if that's okay. But thanks for the invite just the same.
Peace to you, both!
A slave of Christ,
SA
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N.drew
You would have to be mutifaceted or you would (spirituall) tip over. I know about John and about what he said. Make the way of The Holy One of Good strait. Means plane. Like on the same -----. Instead of /.
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OUTLAW
Scars that will never die?..
LOL!!..
I have scars none of them are alive..
I have wounds that won`t heal..I had a Dog that would`nt heel..
And for $11.95..
I get a combo Chinese meal..Not including HST..
Which I never voted for..
Is the liberal government going to give me that back?..
NO!..Until the tax is recinded..
The chinese guy keeps charging me HST on my Chinese food..
How the Eff does that help your average JW?..
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...OUTLAW -
Voices
I have to agree with Shelby here. AGuest. I may not have scars from the whole Jw thing, well not as 'deep,' but I DO have scars that are beyond my full comprehension right now. I have been through so much abuse it's not even funny. My spirit WAS crushed. When I personally read it, it enticed me to open it , yes, but at the same time that was only because the despair in me lingers to be enticed. I have been through a lot of abuse, and my demons have not left me. My father was very abusive, and though Jw's didn't hurt as much as what he did...i can definately relate to the 'emotional scars.'
I came from a dysfunctional family. My mom, which represented 'god' to all little children, was being beaten repeatedly over and over again almost on a daily basis for th elongest time. There was no love, and the affection was disgusting (sexual). Although a part of me wants to compare to the whole 'my abuse was ten times worse than yours' BS, I want to be clear that abuse is abuse either way. I still feel like a 5 year old child, and those that know me, when they see pictures of me are shocked to see me as a 'grown man' ...when my emails SCREAM 5 year old child trying to recover or whatever. And trying to prove how my pain isn't as big as yours, or vice versa is nothing but a depreication of our emotional pains without realization of it's enslavement of us.
I don't have the basic coping skills that I see othe people have. My emotional centers are so inflamed that I can't possible get grasp on them. I went through 47 states of the USA trying to find something, and that something was love, healing, whatever. I've gone through marjuana, speed, mushrooms, alcohol and LSD trying to find some sort of relief from the scars that prick and scream. And i still havn't gotten any. Although on LSD I received empathy, sympathy, and destruction of the ego that destroyed the filters of deceptive voices so I can 'see' clearly. Probably the best, and most dangerous, drug i've taken that has elimited, for a short time, the pain and removed the filter of voices that distort the truth of reality. But that only lasted a day. Once it was out of my system, I was back to my same shitty self.
I have gone through girls trying and begging for a relationship trying to find 'love' that will ultimately heal. I am brain washed by Hollywood and all that bullshit that scream that once you find your 'true love' you'll be healed, and LOVE will come to you and you will become happy. I'm aware that consciously that's not true, but it's like a program that has total control over me that leads me astray.
The perpetual cycle of confusion, frustration, anger, emptiness, feeling lost is just one aspect of the turmoil me and others like me, whether jw or nonjw abused individuals can feel. But the despair is only fed with the concept of 'it will never heal' .....and has continually fueled this unending scar. The truth is buried deeply in the heart, which is not really truth but can only be seen as truth due to it's repetitive reinforcement as it emerge out of the depts of the subconscious when elicited by any or all situations alike that threaten and attack. And that truth, which is a lie, states 'It will never heal and you will always have this with you......forever.....and ever.' And again, though consciously i'm aware that it is possible to be 'healed'... when thrown into tha tmentality, it only but reinforces the 'never will heal' aspect, which is stronger. And that's not counting the suicide thought process.
I am a slave to my mind. When perpetuated with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ...it is unmerciful. And it's not until it STOPS on it's OWN that I receive some relief, but the damage is already done.
Believe you me, 'it never heals' or 'never will heal' is the singing anthom of people like me that just gets reinforced of how much it is 'true,'/lie.
And reinforcing that...is not helping me, or people like me.
There is one good thing about me..I can be funny as hell.
Me
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Voices
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Me
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AGuest
those that know me, when they see pictures of me are shocked to see me as a 'grown man' ...when my emails SCREAM 5 year old child trying to recover or whatever.
I have received such email, dear Voices (the greatest of love and peace to you, dear one!), from you AND others. What they say to ME is "I am confused, hurt, angry, and in great pain, but more than all of that combined... I AM AFRAID... and although I HATE all of this and want to be rid of it... and I continue to ALLOW myself to live with it... rather than giving myself PERMISSION to let it go."
I am not a psychological professional, by NO means... but having grown up where and I I did (where this was the daily situation with people, indeed, their way of life!)... I can offer the following (and ask the OP's pardon for this, but given dear Voices post here, I am compelled to respond here):
Living with all of these things becomes like living with your "woobie." Comfort blankets, if you will. Although they may be dirty and stinky... and you, perhaps too old to really NEED them... they bring SOME manner of comfort. You are USED to how those emotions FEEL; however, because you've had little feelings of happiness, security, etc., THOSE feel "alien" to you... and so YOU do things to either forestall, avoid, delay... or reject them. Because they are UNfamiliar... and thus... uncomfortable. And, as humans, we almost always go with what [we think] makes us comfortable.
At some point, however, we realize that they DON'T make us comfortable, at all. Again, we HATE them. But... our flesh... and our minds... "KNOW" these. They have ACCEPTED the "pattern" that these cause IN us. And it's EASY: all we have to do is keep looking BACK... at all of the "things" and people (and their conduct toward us)... and we are REMINDED of them... and thus, the "pattern" deepens.
We can, however, CHOOSE... to discard the PATTERN... as well as the misperceived COMFORT... by CHOOSING [to do] a few things:
1. Choose NOT to be hurt, angry, scared, etc. CHOOSE. By FACING whatever it is that hurt, angered, scared us. Not necessarily the person (that's not always possible)... but what "they" DID.
2. Choose to LOOK at that conduct... and try to see WHY that person did/acted as they did. Were THEY abused as children? Were THEY misled/brainwashed? Were THEY sick... either physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.? Were THEY victims of a time, culture, cult, way of thinking, etc.?
3. Choose to HUMANIZE what they did. This can be done by ALLOWING yourself to know... that most people do the best THEY can... based on what THEY know. Which isn't always what WE would do... what WE know.
4. Choose to ALLOW yourself to have SOME level of fellow feeling for them (NOT that you would do what they did, but that you, too, have done some things, perhaps even to others, that you wish YOU hadn't done... could do over... could take back); and then...
5. Choose to FORGIVE them. NOT for them.... for YOU.
6. Choose... to let... it... go. CHOOSE to.
Then... choose to BE happy, secure, content. REGARDLESS of what may come your way in life: shared love... or single solitude. Familial fulfillment... or barrenness. Financial gain... or financial famine. Professional progress... or just a job (although, I would also tell you to CHOOSE to leave a job you absolutely HATE... for one you can at least tolerate).
MUCH of what we go through (excluding starvation, debilitating/chronic pain, debilitating/terminal illness, or death)... can be "overcome" simply by our choosing to not let IT overcome us. CHOOSING not to... by ALLOWING ourselves to BE happy.
Religion... and particularly some "christian" sects tout suffering as a "sign" of being blessed by God. This is true, in some senses... but not the ones they mean. It does NOT please... or glorify... God to go around "suffering" mentally and emotionally. Israel did this when they fasted, so as to have an outward appearance of "being afflicted FOR God." Of course, that didn't fly... as Isaiah was sent to tell them. And our Lord told HIS followers to "grease their faces" when THEY fasted... because it wasn't so that they would appear to be doing so to MEN... but fasting to God, who is the only One who needed to see and know.
But more importantly... joy... is a "fruit" of God's holy spirit. If one is lacking in joy, then, all one needs to do is ASK... and one shall receive. However, one cannot ask for joy... and then CHOOSE to override that joy with his/her own angsts and sadness. THAT... is, once again, looking BACK.
Rather, such one should CHOOSE... to DISCARD what occurred BEFORE... and press on to what lies AHEAD... doing so in that joy that they asked for. "That was then... this is NOW. And now, I CHOOSE..."
To BE happy. Happiness... is a choice, dear one. No matter what one's life situation was... or is.
If you ALLOW others... and other things... to rob you of your joy... then that is your CHOICE. It is what YOU... are CHOOSING.
I hope this helps. Please note, it's really all I have to give you on the matter. For more, you really should go to our Lord. Since this is another's thread, however, I think we should either leave it here (but feel free to take it to a separate thread, if you need/wish to. I will respond there, if permitted/directed).
Again, peace to you!
Your servant... always... and a slave of Christ,
SA, turning the thread back to the OP and again, asking his pardon...
