Kids in hospital, JW family still shuns.

by mamalove 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  mamalove

  It was an awful weekend both of my kids were in the hospital with pneumonia. One had to stay the night and the other was treated in the ER. It was extremely stressful and worrisome to say the least. I felt so bad for my babies. They are home now resting and we go back to the doctors tomorrow for a check up. I am glad the hospital stuff is over and they are able to be in their own house and much more comfortable.

  Vent alert....So if that was not upsetting enough, I texted my JW mother and sister. JW mother does not want to talk to me, made that clear. Sister did text back. I had one of my DD call my mom, and my mom still said she did not want to speak to me. She made a big deal about the kids calling my sister, and I thought, NO, the phone works both ways.

  They never even bothered to drive the 35 miles to the hospital. Even another JW family came to see the kids, and gasp actually spoke to me and was very kind. I feel like my family is evil personified. I am so emotionally drained and now I feel very angry. There is a part of me that wants to email my mother and sister and tell them that if they want to talk to the kids, the phone works both ways. Also, my daughter had mentioned that she thought it was weird that they never came to see her or call her. In a way, their coldheartedness is sending the message loud and clear to my kids, and lending light to the true way that JW's act. So I don't think I ever have to worry about my kids being JWs when they get older.

  What would you do about the family? Just let it alone? Or say something?

  It was also quite hard to be around my ex-husband. He was studying his Watchtower next to me, LOL. We spent the night with our daughter in the hospital room, and that was a really odd feeling. But that is another thread...

  Thanks for reading my vent.
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  leavingwt

  (((((((((( mamalove ))))))))))

  I hope your kids make a quick recovery. I can only imagine how scary it was to be in the hospital with two very sick children.
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  serenitynow!

  Girl, I'm sorry about how you were treated. It's so sad that the JWs can't show any natural affection toward anyone who doesn't share their beliefs. I hope your kiddos make a full recovery. Stay strong.
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  clarity

  What is wrong with these people!? ...

  How do the 'kids' feel about themselves when gramma won't come to them or call?

  No gramma worth her salt would ever be this way!

  You deserve better.

  clarity
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  mrsjones5

  Omg Mama, I'm so sorry about your kids and I'm glad they're on the mend. How stressful for you and on top of it your mother and sister are being buttholes. You're right though, kids remember things like this and it only makes the jw world seem more than crazy and they won't want to have anything to do with it. It's worked out that way with my kids.

  But I wouldn't say anything (I know I've tried and it didn't change a damn thing). Vent here or write a vent letter and let it out so you can get some of that stress out cuz you know your mom and sister can't hear you right now and holding in stress ain't good for you either.

  ((((((hugs)))))) from one mama to another
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  tenyearsafter

  Sorry to hear about this Mamalove...unfortunately, it is quite common among JW's. Both my adult children have zero contact with their grandparents since I left the Borg. Neither of the kids were DF'ed, DA'ed and one was never baptized, but that doesn't seem to matter. The only thing the kids ever hear is that "they know the phone number if they want to talk"...ahhh, true familial love. Hope your situation improves...
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  Jewel

  I sympathise...very hard to have kids that are so miserable.

  I'd just let it ride with the family. It will only up your stress level to take them on right now and it won't change them. Concentrate on your family and take care of yourself, as well. Hope everyone is on the road to recovery.
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  ABibleStudent

  Sorry for your pain ((((((((((mamalove))))))))) and I hope that you children get better soon.

  mamalove - What would you do about the family? Just let it alone? Or say something?

  There is nothing that you can say that will make your family choose you over their beloved Wathtower, so why bother and waste your energy? Of course, if your JW family wants to see your kids, then I would make some ground rules like: they must ask you and not ask your kids to ask you and that it is a package deal where they see you and your kids doing some kind of fun outing and not going to a KH or out on FS.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
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  outsmartthesystem

  "I feel like my family is evil personified."

  I would honestly tend to disagree with you. Even though I don't know your family. They are victims of Watchtower propaganda and mind control. They truly believe their only choices are to 1) align themselves with Satan by ignoring "God's command" to shun DF'd ones or 2) align themselves with God by obeying "his trusted slave".

  Mind control is the enemy
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  Bella15

  So sorry to hear about this ... I hope your kids are feeling better. I wish them speedy recovery! My children are 13 and 14 now.

  One thing that has helped me deal with JW family is to take ownership of my own life, adulthood, pain and happiness. I am being responsible for me and my family. I also know that until God change the circumstances there is little I can do to make them do what I want, what will bring ME satisfaction, or happiness ... get the ego out of the way. I don't agree and don't like their attitudes or beliefs anymore but I also recognize that it is their choice, just like I made my choice. So there is ME and THEM with a line in between. I also one day started thinking about the famous Genealogy Tree and how if I want to change things, turn the tide, break the cycles, curses, stop sacrificing my children and the future generations to the Watchtower god, the curses in my family, I have to branch out and make a conscious, intentional decision to start my own GENEALOGY TREE ... if you think about it ... sometimes gynealogy trees need a good shake up ... so many "trees" are plagued with all kinds of generational curses: all kinds of negative, destructive addictions, personality disorders, poverty, lack of education, guilt, secrets, etc etc etc. That's why I decided that the buck stopped with me and I was going to turn my future generations for the better starting with me. It is my God-given right, to stop being a child, take ownership of my adulthood and life and be fruitful, multiply and GOVERN what God has given me. If you are part of your mother's TREE, every wind that shakes her will also shake you and you won't have any control, you will always be overshadowed by her. So make a mental picture of yourself as a branch but also as a fruit of that tree (your mother), and plant yourself to give birth to a whole new generation that will flourish with the blessings not the curses ... it is in our power ... we only need to be intentional ...