Those of us who left the WT for less than noble reasons (page 2)

elderelite

Oz, let me share with you a dofferent side of the coin:

Me. An "active" elder, stumbled on an "apostate" web site, lurks and ultimtaly "wakes up" to reality.

I havent left, and still 'serve' in a vile and lowly way as a nominal tool of the org. I do my best to midigate and sooth my concious by working to free others and definatly to protect my kids (working quite well!!!) But ultimtly still an elder and still "in".

How is my discorvery any more noble than yours? You left to pursue yourself and be who you were meant to be. NOT knowing it was a lie and NOT understanding you wert gonna die at the big A you left anyway. Thats brave. Your heart and soul lead you to freedom before you even knew you were not free, that there was a world outside WT land...

Dont look down on your path or journey or how you made it. No one travels exactly the same path at the same speed, there is no standard, no 100% defined way to leave or be you. You did it as best you could and held your ground against going back without full knowledge of the bulls***t! Thats manly :-)

Dont let the "never good enough" of dubbie land follow you. You left in an awesome way, for the best reasons, when it was the right time for you.

Thats a lot to be proud of

leavingwt

Aussie Oz: You are free! You've joined the lucky ones. There is no right or wrong way to leave.

Morbidzbaby

Agreeing with LWT.

Oz, My story is similar to yours, but I had doubts from an early age. It was when I was older and living in a loveless marriage, fighting with my husband all the time, being controlled and not allowed to do this or that or say what I wanted or be my true self that I finally cracked. I couldn't handle it anymore. We had children, and I was nothing more than a slave to him...a nanny and a maid. I was not his wife. He didn't love me and he proved it over and over again. I, like you, "committed adultery" in order to get out of my marriage. We were already separated at the time, and I lost my children as well. But...I HAD to get out! I was on anti-depressants for over a year after I left, just to be able to feel NORMAL and actually not try to kill myself. I had some freedom, but then I was sucked back into the JW's and I really gave it one last go (I had already been a member of this site and was in that "doubting" period where I wondered "what if they're right??"). I finally had it a little over a year and a half ago and I quit meetings, quit everything. I now live in sin with my wonderful amazing boyfriend and haven't looked back. I am amazed at how many people accept me for who I am...the TRUE person I am. My bf doesn't judge me when I have a mood swing or when I am aggravated from a bad day at work. He doesn't try to force me into a family study. Most of all, he loves me and let's me know it every single day. And the way he is to me is like being splashed with ice water when I realize that THIS is what is normal...and it makes me really understand the depth of the abuse I endured. I don't know how the hell I did it for all those years being married.

Although you left for reasons other than knowing the truth about the Truth, you know it NOW and you're working on your kids. You speak out about the WTBTS. That makes you an apostate in my book!

jam

Aussie oz; Your story, my story. Others have left

because of false doctrins, false end of the world

predictions. In my case it was for selfish reasons.

Like you, I am not A good example for A Apostate.

tec

I still thought that they were the truth when I left too. I thought they were wrong about things, but I still believed that they were God's channel. So when I left, I felt like I was leaving Him as well. Not really leaving him, but too weak and unable to follow Him. (I felt like the rich man who would/could not follow Christ.) Killed me inside, for a while.

You left, it seems, for your survival. I don't think you can blame yourself for that. You weren't meant to live as a slave to such an organization.

Peace,

Tammy

lisaBObeesa

Elderelite said:

You left to pursue yourself and be who you were meant to be. NOT knowing it was a lie and NOT understanding you wert gonna die at the big A you left anyway. Thats brave.

Yes! You said it so well!

Aussie, what you did was SO brave and so HONEST...most people could not have done it.

Most people would have stayed in the trap and died a little more each day for years and years and maybe forever. But you set yourself free.

You let yourself do what you NEEDED to do. And guess what? It was the RIGHT thing to do. You didn't know it at the time, but that voice inside you was telling you to do the RIGHT thing. (Feeling it was just a 'selfish thing' or a 'not noble' reason is the dub programing put there to keep us from listening to the voice inside!)

Finding your own identity is a developmental NEED in humans. People not in the Org do the work of finding their identity when they are teenagers. People who are raised in the Org and stay in the org never find their identity, they are 'foreclosed'...they accept an identity that is forced on them. That is not healthy.

You stepped out of the Org and went back and did what you needed to do, but had been programed not to do.

You are a hero to yourself, and to your children.

Dont let the "never good enough" of dubbie land follow you.

Yes! That! ^^^^

tenyearsafter

My story is similar to Aussie and Morbidzbaby...I had doubts growing up, married far too young, had a family, mindlessly existed in a life that I knew was not making me happy, etc., etc. I finally realized this wasn't the truth and that my marriage was making me miserable. My then wife was a good woman, but totally sold out to the Borg. I was frustrated and miserable because nothing I did was good enough...the wife always badgered me about not doing enough for Jehovah and the elders continually admonished me for "not reaching out". I finally hit the wall, and decided I needed to escape. The way I did it was not noble, and I am not proud of it...but it did ultimately give me the freedom to critically think and look at other options. I am sorry I hurt my ex and my kids, but things turned out well and my kids and I now have a fantastic relationship. Unfortunately, their mother has distanced herself from the kids, and though they love their mom, they have very minimal contact with her. Neither kid followed her into the Borg, so they ultimately got college degrees and good jobs. I don't recommend the way I left, but it ultimately worked out well.

Aussie Oz

I thank you all for helping me see the flip side...

Leaving and being prepared to die for being true to myself was not ignoble. I had lost sight of that a bit. Now you have jogged my memory i recall once saying i would rather one year of inner peace and authenticity than a hundred as a Jehovahs witness...i didn't think i was brave, i just thought i was messed up and selfish.

You guys and gals are the salt of the earth. You made me cry. thankyou.

I need to understand this part of my journey because one day i might have to explain all this to my kids when they really want to know 'what happened'.

OZ

MrFreeze

What would you consider a noble reason for leaving?

talesin

Aussie,,,

There is no nobler cause than seeking freedom. Do not put yourself down for leaving the Tower for this reason.

Listen to this, and you will believe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bodlx2QLblY

tal

Those of us who left the WT for less than noble reasons

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