by Joliette 71 Replies latest jw friends
I am constantly bewildered by the power a religion can have on someone - this is a prime example. Rejecting there own kids because someone told them it is the right thing to do!!!!
I never "quite" reached the stage you have - managed to keep contact - but it has never been the same.
You could try and back down a bit - remove videos etc. On the other hand they may not actually follow-through with shunning you.
No easy answers.
Good luck.....The Scotsman
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.
It sounds like you have made up your mind to speak up against the Watchtower. The past can not be undone. Even if you take down the Youtube videos, they could still shun you? Are you willing to rejoin the Kingdom Hall, pioneer, and be a 'good girl'? It may take that to get back into their graces. You see, your parents follow a cult. They will only accept you completely if you are a part of the cult. They speak in group speak, and do not see individuals. People can not have an opinion that differs from the Organization. Therefore, I would use the Organization's words against them. Fight fire with fire.
How about letting things cool down for a little bit? Then, send your parents the July 2010 Awake article on shunning. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/175088/1/rough-draft-re-shunning-new-Awake-article
There is probably other threads/copies out there on this important Awake that is on YOUR side. This Awake says, basically, that everyone has the right to belong to a religion and to leave a religion, without losing their community. In other words, it appears to be against shunning. Of course, the example in the Awake is someone coming "to" Jehovah and shunning by their former group. But, it may get yoru parents to think.
My JW relatives seem to be trained that 'there are two sides of every story' and 'everyone is entitled to thier own opinion.' I use this to my advantage.
I would stick with telling your parents that you've done alot of study on the Watchtower and find problems with many things. Ask open questions, "Dad, what would you do if you found out that there is a masonic pyramid on your religion's founder's grave?" "Dad, what would you do if you found out that the Watchtower corporation is worth billions, and they never release this information at the local Kingdom Hall?" "Mom, what would you do if you found out your religion took an active role at hiding and promoting pedophiles?" "Dad, what would you do if you discovered that Bethel misquotes" "Mom, what would you do ...." You may never convince them to leave, but they will have to respect you as having an opinion, and an opinion that is well researched.
As always, I tell my relatives this, "I have researched the Watchtower, and on many fronts I have found problems. It's not for me." They know that there are problems, but are still at the point of sweeping them under the rug. On some level, they identify with me.
I do tell my relatives if I am doing something against the Watchtower, but I wait until just after I did it. I tell them that I'd rather they hear it from me then from the Internet or Friends that, "Just to let you know, I ... I'd rather you hear it from me then from the Internet or relatives..but last week I met with a journalist........" I usually do this through an e-mail. I never get a reply back, so I don't have to deal with the, "Skeeter, how could you disgrace....!" bull.
While I was never baptised, my JW relatives do not shun me. We don't talk often (about once every few months), but there is an open line. In fact, they have told the congregation that, "Skeeter has different opinions. I don't agree with them, but everyone has the right to thier opinion." One relative even called Bethel to tell them that! Bethel passed this person around to a bunch of different people. I don't know who all, but I do know it was a bunch of different people. I think the relative called Bethel to make sure it was on record that he didn't agree with me, and he was very nervous about how what I did could affect his standing in the congregation. Remember, JWs are very afraid of what other JWs think. So, they do strange things like shunning or calling Bethel to report on you. Allegiance to the Watchtower is greater then allegiance to family.
I also told one JW relative that I knew that she valued me as a person and I thought highly of her as she thought of family first. I commented that she didn't shun me for having a separate opinion. I told her that shunning opposers was one characteristic of a brainwashed cult follower. I didn't get a reply e-mail. So now, if she shuns me . . . she's proven to me that she's a brainwashed cult follower. She's damned if she does, and damned if she doesn't! :-).
Skeeter
The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.
They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old."
He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."
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Never forget a JWs true nature- even family will bite you, if cornered by inconvenient truths about their religion.
Despite knowing about the WTS' loyalty and obedience demands, it's hard to believe that YOUR family and friends will disown YOU and shun YOU. Unfortunately, it happens over and over, as so many people on this forum can attest.
This is not unusual for strong believers in most religions.
Jesus referred to people who stray as lost sheep.
The apostle John called those that stray - Antichrist.
They will try to blame you but remember, none of it is your fault. I have reached out to old friends in the JWs to hang out and grab a beer. They always decline. Its them, not me. Same with you. Keep reaching out. This way they can see its not you who have abandoned them.
Good advice, but I giggle a little when I try to imagine them agreeing not to talk about their beliefs in public. They wouldn't get their time in!
True by that I meant basically not promoting their beliefs around the person who doesn't share them (in this case Joliette). And by using a public forum I meant more of using mass media like she did. Obviously you're not going to stop them going from door to door, and in the end, why should we care what they do anyway. As long as we can agree to not batter each other with our ideas.
The apostle John called those that stray - Antichrist.
Really? Where did John say that?
I am sorry for your pain Joliette, and sorry your family reacted that way, but you must have known there was a risk this would happen ?
I can see before I am much older that I will experience a similar thing with my family, I have ramped up my anti-witnessing somewhat.
Whatever happens, you and I can rely on our true JWN family for support!
Sorry to hear about this Joliette but this is what the wtbs is really pushing people to do now more than ever because their running scared.
keep strong one of these days the wtbs is going to crash land because you can't keep doing this sort of thing. Holding people's family hostage.
