In 1967 I couldn't play piano or any other musical instrument. But, I could chord with my left hand and peck out melody in my right hand!
In fact, I was quite compelled to compose music the way teenagers are often overwrought with hormone driven compulsions to EXPRESS themselves! I really needed more authentic inspiration to compel me forward into actually learning how to compose and play properly...
In the summer of that year I met her. Her name was Lucinda and it was at a--believe it or not--religious convention. Yeah, I know.
Teens stood around eyeballing each other and attempting to chat each other up so they would not have to sit by themselves while the covention speaker droned on and on about purity or righteousness or the end of the world.
Lucinda and I ended up talking to each other.
Unlike all the other girls, Lucinda was smart and sharp as a tack and she called me on whatever bullshit I was peddling that day!
Suffice to say I went away and licked my wounds.
But, I came back and did an extraordinary thing. I apologized for whatever it was I said. I haven't a clue (just like back then) what it was.
We ended up really warming to one another and before that 3 day weekend was done it was first love! Oh me, oh my. The exhilaration sent us over the moon. Holding hands and kissing and all that blah blah blah that makes life twinkle and explode soon followed. We even talked about eventually getting married. Yes, we were serious. About as serious as 20 year old virgins can be. (Like a barn on fire.)
Only one problem. We were Jehovah's Witnesses and I was drafted into the Armed Forces. JW's think beating their swords into plowshares means somebody else needs to go lob grenades at the Viet Namese. That meant I'd end up in Federal Prison!
And I did, with an indeterminate Youth Corrections Act sentence. Minimum possible: 6 months. Maximum possible: 6 years.
Lordy Lordy.
Lucinda and I grappled with that. The angst and melodrama was thick as December pancake syrup!
I'd write her every day and she'd come visit me in the slammer and when it was all (eventually) over we'd become wed......forever......and ever.....
Months later, I was in Seagoville Federal Correctional Institution about 50 miles from Lucinda. I had been assigned a job worthy of my intellect inside the prison compound. It consisted of breaking rocks with a small jackhammer! Apparently my I.Q. test suggested this was my calling in life!
It was a minimum security prison. No machine gun guard towers to be seen. But, if you decided to vacate your sentence the automatic sentence was to add 5 years and your next stop was Maximum Security prison with bullets and shanks and fear and trembling.
When it was time for dinner, instead of entering the Mess Hall and chomping down on some prison grown veggies and meat I would slip off to the Catholic Rectory where there was a grand piano! The rectory was dark and nobody was ever around that time of day. I was free to sit down at the piano bench and attempt the impossible! Slowly and painstakingly I figured out what to do with all those black and white keys!
After many such autodidactic self-lessons I wrote a piece of music for LUCINDA. Whatever was going on inside of me ended up in the music as well.
I never got a chance to play it for her. This was because she eventually stopped driving the 50 miles to sit in the visiting room with me (and several hundred other inmates) and attempt to make conversation. Funny how "love" is. You have to SHARE experiences to keep it alive. My experiences were the same every minute of every day and hers were........a bit more....um....enjoyable.
I got a letter from her one day and it said she was dating somebody else and wouldn't be coming to see me anymore.
The loud snap I heard was my heart crumbling into Humpty Dumpty eggshell shards.
I put the letter away after re-reading it a dozen times and I walked to the Catholic Rectory and sat down in the darkness and played the Lucinda melody one last time.
I was eventually paroled after 2 years and a few days after I got back home a picnic in my honor was held to reacquaint me with my old friends.
Yes, Lucinda drove up and parked her car and I watched her slowly get out and walk toward the picnic tables where eveybody was eating watermelon. I didn't want to watch her walk the 50 yards to the table but, apparently, I was unable to stop myself.
I don't remember what she said. It was conciliatory and hopeful and she was alone.
But, I was not a nice person at that moment. I was cold and unfeeling toward her. (On the outside.) She got the message and left shortly afterward.
Inside my chest there was something awful happening and I had to sit down and pretend to enjoy myself until the feeling went away.
Anyway.....
I looked her up on Facebook recently just for the hell of it.
She looks pretty much the same! There is a photo of her and her husband and daughter. I stared at it probably way too long and thought what "might have been" if I had not been an asshole at that picnic......
Today, I sat down and orchestrated the LUCINDA melody and here it is.
Now that you know the story behind it.......!
http://soundcloud.com/muzikmaven/lucinda
Lucinda__first love.....prison and Jehovah's Witnesses
by Terry 24 Replies latest jw friends
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Terry
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Terry
I wonder if she is still a JW?
Her name is Lucinda Heikkila.
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designs
'Every teardrop is a Waterfall'. Coldplay
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Found Sheep
did you / do you live in NY?
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Found Sheep
oh i see Texas on your name...
Oh well
I knew a Tery in NY that went to prison for not going to war and when he came out faded...
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SixofNine
She married Billy Bob Thornton?
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Terry
I knew a Tery in NY that went to prison for not going to war and when he came out faded...
Only my jeans are faded. I was kicked out!
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Found Sheep
that's kinda sick. You spend time behind bars for them and when you were down and out the kick you out!!!!
well glad they did
life is better on this side
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tiki
That is a bittersweet story, Terry...I am sorry you had to do the jail time, and for what. But on the flip side, you came out alive and a lot of those guys who ended up in Nam came out tragically either hooked on booze or drugs, or with PTSD....both of which a certain religion can cause in you too.... But thanks for sharing. I always felt so bad for the poor young guys who at the peak of strength and virility landed in the slammer, but having married a navy man, I have a newfound appreciation for the military and those who serve the country. They are a good bunch and they sacrifice for the immediate not for an elusive future nirvana.
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lifestooshort
Terry- Thank you for sharing that with me. It somehow helps. Perhaps we all have regrets in life and in love. I know I do. I have many things to be grateful and thankful for but still there are regrets. Paul Simon says in one of his songs- "The fact that life could be better is woven indelible into our hearts and our brains." Anyway thanks for sharing that.