Some personal thoughts as 2011 comes to a close

by Terry 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  Morbidzbaby

  They don't go out after Memorial and "celebrate." They just go home and turn on the TV like every other night. I am not aware of anyone that ever invited their Witness friends over to their home for a special Memorial Evening dinner.

  I have to respectfully disagree here. As I got older, more and more JW's would go out to eat and socialize after the Memorial. Some would invite a group back to their home for snacks and association. Others here can tell you that in some congregations, the wine and "bread" would be taken back to the home of one of the elders and enjoyed with cheeses and fruit. There were plenty of us that got together after the Memorial for socializing, whether over finger foods at someone's home, or a full meal at a restaurant. In fact, after my very last Memorial, a group of us that included an elder and his family, a ministerial sevant and his wife, a new "bible study", and some single brothers and sisters all went to a local chain restaurant and stayed out until about 11:30pm enjoying each other's company and talking about the Memorial and other stuff. It was actually a very fun time, lots of laughs and joking, and a "joyous" occasion. I know of quite a few in every congregation I've been in who do at least some little gathering after the Memorial...and I've been in approximately 13 different congregations across the US.
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  scotoma

  Ray Franz thought he had an accurate map of reality. He died believing in a myth that he failed to escape. Being a JW during the formative years of life distract a person from REALLY! getting a grip. I'm sure that if Ray Franz had been able to spend his youth reading solid science he would have jettisoned the whole pile of garbage.

  Just getting out of JW is NOT necessarily freedom. Many will think that is enough but still cling to other religious fantasies. And in some cases they become captive to more insidious falsehoods ie. fanatic patriotism, conspiracy theories, health quackery, devotion to political pundits, and unproven psyhcological panaceas.

  Detecting bullsh*t is a lifelong job.
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  Heaven

  Cheers to you Terry. As a child in a household where only 1 parent was just starting to get sucked into the cancer, we did celebrate Christmas. It was always a wonderful time of the year. I miss so many things from that time. I am saddened by what this religion has done to our family traditions. With my Mom gone now as well as a lot of my family, this time of year is becoming transformative. I am developing different traditions. Freedom is a wonderful gift and I for one cherish it. Am looking forward, as always, to what life will be and bring in the New Year.

  My Father who is a JW struggling with dementia is not reacting negatively to people wishing him a Merry Christmas this year. Very odd but also somewhat 'happifying' . He has actually wished people Merry Christmas -- some of what he has clung to is vanishing; but sadly, other things are not.

  I bought him some cherries to celebrate Christmas even though I have not decorated or said anything to him about Merry Christmas. I wished my ex Merry Christmas this morning as he gave us a phone call. Will see him in a couple of days.

  The light is beginning to return once again in my part of the world -- Celebrating Love and Light - and the return of the Sun.

  
• 

  Terry

  We've just done our present-unwrapping while my 21 year old son captured it on HD video.

  Afterward we watched previous Christmas's goin back through the years.

  Interestingly, I was struck by the expressions on my face over the years.

  What do I mean?

  The farther back I go, the more uncertain, uncomfortable and awkward I appear--which made me stop and wonder "why?"

  Even in the 2004 videos I look like a suspect perp under police surveillance!!

  I think I've figured it out.

  When you were a JW for 20 years or more and NOT celebrating DEFINES your integrity---it takes a long long while NOT TO FEEL like a TRAITOR!

  So, only.....gradually......year...by...year....have I finally given up GUILT and SHAME!

  That is how deep the roots of Jehovah weeds have grown.

  Last years and this years videos show the contrasting "AFTER" comparisons to good effect.

  I've made the final breakthrough with absolutely no trace of telltale (looking over the shoulder in fear) hesitancy!

  Those videos show a comfortable, happy and normal person in a Free Society and not the New World Society of nay-sayers.

  HOOORAAAAY and Merry Christmas!!
• 

  Heaven

  What is with my images today? Ok, once more with feeling...

  
• 

  WTWizard

  It's one thing when you choose not to celebrate Christmas or it's imposed on you because of financial constraints. At least you are not going to think of Christmas music and decorations as something you should dread.

  However, when you impose such restrictions on the congregation as a religious matter, it is worse than just not doing it. When I was in, I couldn't stand seeing it around because I thought of it as pollution. I would hear a Christmas song, and feel it was a contamination. Seeing Christmas lights would also be viewed as pollution. This, perhaps as much as missing out on it, is leading the witlesses to a dreary Christmas and a crappy new year. And the pious, self-righteous attitude against doing it is what contributes most of the dreariness.
• 

  Terry

  Conscience and JW's are incompatible!
• 

  Ding

  Coming to a different set of intellectual beliefs doesn't automatically deprogram the emotions.

  The WTS guilt and fear tactics are so pervasive that it's not surprising it would take a long time to shed those emotions.
• 

  Violia

  I was a born-in and like most of us, never celebrated holidays . It was sad around Christmas, seeing all the lights and toys and family happiness, TV shows. We got to watch others enjoy the holidays and none of us except my mom had the courage to say she missed Christmas. When I was in the second grade I recall coming back after Christmas break and the teacher asking everyone to stand before the class and tell what they got for Christmas. I made up a doll. I was mocked by the other kids " YOU GOT ONE DOLL" and other mean things. You know how kids can be. I couldn't cry, I owed it to Jehovah to be brave.

  It has been h*ll leaving the Borg-even some of my relatives who were never jws think we are wrong. I have wondered at times if I could go back and just be silent. I know I could not do that . I have always been an activist and a vocal one at that. When I have these feelings I always pray for guidance and inevitably I will have flashbacks to abuse from elders . I am so grateful I remember WHY I LEFT.

  Freedom to make informed decisions is worth it. Six is so right. When I first heard the song by Bob Marley " Redemption Song" I cried. These words mean so much to me-

  "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
  None but ourselves can free our minds"

  My immediate family and I are looking to the future and hope one day Jws' will just be a bad memory. My grandkids get to celebrate the holidays and are normal kids. My own kids ( their parents) and I cry and are angry at times for the loss jws have caused in our lives but you know you cannot undo the past and I don't think we will get any do overs. I am just trying to help my kids and grandkids have a happier life than mine.

  Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
• 

  man oh man

  Thanks for the Nice words. Thanks for not calling us stuck ins Hypocrites.

  As for Christmas I was wondering the other day why are we holding one culture accountable for the sins of another. Seriously I think the wt denounced Christmas because it honored Our Savior. And that is just beyond them. When celebrating Christmas in the past I never even thought oh this is Jesus Birthday. It was about the arival of Immanuel. And if you don't like religion.....well you can still celebrate as it has become for everyone.