Ejaculation,Incest and Prostitutes in the bible !

by Beans 15 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  Beans

  I got this in an e-mail not to long ago:

  Abraham was a good friend of God (2 Chronicals 20:7) and yet he married his half sister Sarah(Genesis 20:12)Although we today hold incest to be a grave crime against the victim,the bible makes it clear that incest is a joyous activity,to be indulged in with liquor,as lot did with his two daughters.(Genesis 19:30-38)In this modern society, we may find ourselves shrinking back from such an idea.Indeed, the world generally holds an opinion contrary to that of Gods word the bible,but should we really let that sway our opinion? The apostle Peter makes it clear that Lot`s night of drunken incest had no ill effect upon his standing with God,calling Lot "RIGHTEOUS."(2 Peter 2:7,8)

  Then too is the example of King Solomon.King Solomon was fovored with "wisdom and riches and glory" more than any other man before him or since.(1 Kings 3:10-13)Should we not heed the fine example of someone favored by God in our own lives? King Solomon had over 700 wives-many of whom he know doubt had sex with.But it is interesting to note that the bible also says Solomon had 300 concubines.Webester`s dictionary gives us a better idea of what a concubine is:To lie down,to lie down together,A woman who cohabitates with a man without being his wife,a parmour.Clearly,the Bible shows that it is ok to take care of our many wives,but that if we need a little sexual variety on the side,concubines are a welcome provision of our loving creator Jehovah God!

  Although the Bible does not mention oral sex, there are certain Biblical guidlines that any true cristian would want to consider,since the Bible is "inspired and beneficial for teaching"(2 Timothy 3:16) The Bible makes it clear thatto engage in sex of any sort with a prostitute is a good waste of money.(Proverbs 29:3,NIV)It also shows our fine brothers among us that they must never ejaculate onto the ground,for fear that God may strike them dead.(Genisis 38:9,10).

  Clearly then,if we are to engage in oral sex,we would want to do it only with a member of our immediate family,or with a concubine,and only if thay are willing to swallow.

  Questions:
  -Does the Bible have anything to say about sex?
  -What does the Bible say about having sex with two women at the same time and what if those two women are your daughters?
  -How many orifices did King Solomon have at his disposal and what is the Bibles view about keeping concubines?
  -What Biblical advice should we follow if we want to have oral sex?

  Now isn`t that all clear now! Great questions from readers!

  Beans
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  RunningMan

  It seems to me that the Bible says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery". But, for some reason, this does not appear to include having multiple wives, keeping mistresses, boinking your children, visiting prostitutes, having your run of the slave girls, or selling your wife/sister to another man at a profit. So, how do you break this command?

  Actually, all Christian women should follow the Biblical example of Oholibah who longed for lovers whose sexual members were like donkeys and whose emissions were like those of horses (Ez 23:20).

  The Bible is such a wholesome book. Wouldn't you rather have your child reading this than Harry Potter?
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  Moxy

  someone mentioned that the biblical meaning of 'adultery' was closer to 'adulterate,' to make impure, and that it refered to sex with another man's wife or to marriage with a non-israelite, both of which were considered 'adulteration' of the family line, making impure. i dont know what the linguistic evidence for this is but this was another 'light-bulb' moment for me, an explanation that made perfect sense in light of the culture that produced the bible. i would like to know more about this.

  mox
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  Beans

  Moxy:I always wanted to ask you:What is that in your picture are smoking a dube or is that a tooth pic?
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  Moxy

  nothing so interesting - just coffee (i dont know what *youre* seeing)
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  expatbrit

  Moxy's a wild one, Beans.

  Remind me to tell you about the time he asked a cop who pulled him over if he was "that guy from the Village People."

  Expatbrit
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  RunningMan

  A cup of coffee? I always thought it was the mic of a CB. You look like you're talking to it.
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  Beans

  Expat: I wanna hear that story brother but I might have flashbacks of the 70`s and all those tall brown boots I wore to the meetings!

  Beans
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  ElijahTheThird

  *chuckles and laffs* Yep, there are some really great passages in them scripturese eh? Like poor Ezekiel gonna have to eat his food cooked over human shit! Eeewwwww. Or how about being refered to as "unclean rags" uhhh a used kotex? (acks and hacks).

  As for concubinage and wives, well that really seems to be up to the "family" shall we say? Even today there are certain legal "contracts" that can be secured and documented for protection of inheritance rights and so forth in many countries.

  And that passage in the Book about "seven women will take hold of one man" grins (an end times prophesy supposedly).

  Norval
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  Satanus

  Beans

  Adultery only applied to women. Women could only have one husband. Doing it w any other guy was adultery. Godly men had no such rules. They could have as many wives, concubines and even see prostitutes on the side, as long as the girls weren't owned by some other man. If however, another man gave permission to boink his wife once or for a year, it was okay. You gotta try to understand that women, according to jehovah, were property, to be treated like cows, sheep, or a beautiful rug ;)

  SS