Should we attend our first Birthday Party?

by Flicka 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Flicka

  So we have only been fading for the past few months but already made up our minds that we are completely out.

  We never managed to make any friends in our cong but we befriended our neighbours.

  So our neighbour invited us to her B-Day party in a few weeks time. She knows that we are/were Witnesses and that we are fading.

  I don't see a B-day celebration as being wrong anymore. Life is a gift and it should be celebrated.

  My only fear if we attend the party is that it might somehow come out and it will put the elders on our trail...

  Any advice?

  Flicka
• 

  leavingwt

  Unless you want to be disfellowshipped, your public life must conform to WT standards.
• 

  james_woods

  I don't think they can get you for just opening a bottle or two of Moet & Chandon -
• 

  Phizzy

  It seems to me, because I am in the same position, that one(or in your case, two) has to decide pretty quick what you want to achieve.

  Do you mind if you are DF'd or forcibly DA'd ? If you don't want to, then as LWT rightly says, for goodness sake tow the line and don't do anything thay can get you for.

  If you really don't care, then take your chances, I think it must be great to say "F*** em" I'll live my life without looking over my shoulder, they can do what they like."

  The choice is for you, as a couple to make, just be aware, if you get it wrong, there is no going back, once you are DF'd or DA'd, you are dead to your family and former "friends" in the religion.

  I think the JW's may be a cult ! (said with tongue firmly in cheek)
• 

  Nice_Dream

  We went to a neighbourhood child's birthday party and no JW noticed or said anything (even though an elder's family lives only a few houses up from them). The party was indoors, so it wasn't like we were on the front lawn for everyone to see.

  We decided to drive to the home (even though it is just a few houses up from us) because the JWs were out in service that morning on our street...and we didn't want to be seen walking down the street with a Princess party gift bag.

  An elder also knocked on our door as we were just about to leave. I didn't view it as a "sign" that I shouldn't go or anything. It is what it is.

  Have fun if you decide to go! I'm not sure how likely it will be for anyone to find out you went or not. I'm at the point now where I don't care if I'm outed, but I definitely understand the fear and have been there.
• 

  Yan Bibiyan

  I was under the impression that celebrating YOU OWN or your child's BD is a punishable offence....As to attending someone else's, no biggie..

  Or, am I totally off base?
• 

  ziddina

  Okay, I'm all for caution, but how in the heck could your attendance at a neighbor's birthday party get back to the elders???

  Is it on a meeting night? If yes, then that would be a GOOD thing, as it would reduce the chances of an elder having time to "check up" on you...

  Speaking of which, do you live in a large city? [MUCH better for remaining anonymous!!] Or a small town? [Not so good, but still manageable...]

  Do you have family living nearby? Are they intrusively inquisitive? In your "business", no matter how trivial or intimate?

  If not, then I'd say you could attend with a relaxed mind.

  Your neighbor probably understands the situation well enough to assist you, if a JW WERE to show up...

  Making friends in the REAL world is vital to making a successful transition from JW clone to relaxed human being...

  I wish you the very best...

  Zid
• 

  Flicka

  Thank you for all the replies.

  The party will be next door and in the back garden so no one will see us going there.

  I'm just being cautious. The only way of it getting back to the elders is via "wordly people" which is extremely unlikely.

  My family lives far away so no risk of them finding out.

  I have always been the model witnesss. Never celebrated anything and I was the perfect teenager.

  At this stage in my life (after being irregular in meeting attendance for the past two years and inactive and fading for the last few months, I just want to stop worrying about what other people are thinking of me and live life a bit.

  Flicka
• 

  thetrueone

  Life is a gift and it should be celebrated.

  Of course , celebrating birthdays is celebrating life.

  There is a time when you have to put a foot forward and take your own direction in your own life,

  without, looking around to see if a religious zealot is peeking around a corner watching.

  If your really serious about leaving the JW religion altogether, state your reasons why to those whom want to know

  and continue on with your life.

  The thing that most people have a problem with once making that decision is how you perceive things.

  My take is I look at things for myself if (I) want to participate in celebrations of all and any kind in any country I'm in.
• 

  thetrueone

  I think I should clarify what I was trying to say in my previous comment is that each secular celebration comes under your own scrutiny

  if you want to participate or not. For example I'm not too keen on Halloween for its profusion of frightening small impressionable children

  and the crap candy people give out to the kids knocking on doors.

  I'm not to keen on Christmas for its overly hyped commercialism and subsequent stress that this supposed festive holiday imposes onto people.

  So there you have a true individualistic opinion on todays secular holidays by myself, your own opinion may be different, which is quite alright .