It was good and bad. I only had one real friend at first but this was okay because we were the absolute best of friends. We hung out all the time, long games of hide and seek, staying up late watching movies and playing videogames. He had a sister who I had a huge crush on. She liked me too, it was awesome
However when I was 16 my best friend died in a car accident. Our families had been close for many years so this was a devestating loss. My friends mother had been disfellowshipped a few months before hand. Despite this the majority of the hall was there to comfort the family including her. Some of the elders in the hall did not like this. They thought the congregation was using my friends death as an excuse to associate with a disfellowshipped one. Can you believe the nerve? This led to a major schism in the hall and several families, close to 40% of the congregation ended up moving to different halls. My crush moved away with her family. We kept in touch for a little but distance got the best of us. I lost two great friends that winter. that was the first time I saw the kind of damage the watchtower can do.
But I kept doing what I was supposed to do. In time I met another sister and we became good friends. (we'll call her Kate) I felt an attraction between us but when I asked her she said she already had a boyfriend in another state. I brushed it off at first but later she told me that her BF was coming to town to visit and she wanted me to meet him and hang out with him and stuff. Of course I didn't want to do it. I remember when she introduced us I begrudginly shook his hand and probably came off as a total asshole. It turns out we had a lot in common. We even shared the same first name (Jeremy). We started hanging out a lot and became pretty good friends. He ended up moving to our hall and he asked Kate to marry him. I was really happy for him. However there was a lot of murmuring in the congregation. Many in the hall did not approve of their relationship, I never could figure out why though.
We talked about everything, no subject was off limits including the flaws of the society. We shared many of the same views on some of the society's rules; it felt good to be able to vent like that. I had never had that before.
Things took a turn for the worse though when Kate abruptly called off the engagement. Jeremy was devestated. He told me she had been hanging out with friends from her job. He didn't think much of it at first but apparently she was secretly seeing another man. I felt really bad for him. He was a good person and definitely didn't deserve that. For the next couple of days told me all about they're relationship. He told me they had slept together during their engagement and he felt Jehovah was punishing him for it. I told him there was no way Jehovah would do that. Regardless he felt guilty about it and told me he was going to confess to the elders. I urged him not to do this because I didn't want to lose him as a friend. He did it anyway and was disfellowshipped. For a time afterward we still talked regularly. Eventually though someone saw me going into his apartment and ratted me out. I was pulled into the backroom with two elders and they counseled me on the dangers of associating with disfellowshipped ones. I was pretty pissed but I accepted the counsel. My friend ended up moving back home with his parents. I had lost another friend because of the borg and I wasn't happy. From this point on I cut off all my commenting and kept my service to a bear minimum and started fading.