I disagree, Black Sheep. I wanted them to know I rejected them, they did not tell me I was no longer one of them, I told them I didn't want to have anything to do with what they believe and was going to live my own life. If I had just left sooner or later I would have been DF, their decision, not mine. I walked away with my power.
Changing plans...
by OneDayillBeFree 18 Replies latest jw friends
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breakfast of champions
Gosh, I only wish I could just DA or disappear off the map. If it was just a matter of my parents-- actually, just my mother--I would absolutely DA or just stop cold turkey. The problem is that my entire wife's family (except for her dad)are all in and they really are GOOD PEOPLE. I love them and I do not want to lose any of them.
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diamondiiz
they really are GOOD PEOPLE. I love them and I do not want to lose any of them.
Problem is there are many good people trapped in the cult, but to what point are you willing to wear shackles just to be around people who have conditional love for you? Be it friends or family, you know you can't trust them completely unless you bow down to the GB if they force the issue. My wife's entire family are JW and are also "good people" but to some freedom is more valuebale than circle of drones who won't see. Those who wake up may want to put out some seeds of truth amongst the ones they may care about (I wish I did that prior to DA) and leave, either fade or DA, whichever makes the individual feel better and don't let any of them ever push their BS cult mentality upon you or your kids.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
So far, I'm doing the fade. It has been tricky, with ackward conversations. But fading, rather than DA, has given me opportunities to explain things to some of my family.
It doesn't really matter which way you decide to get out and get on with your life... just get out and get on with your life.
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mind blown
I agree w/Black Sheep. You don't need to DA. You are playing by their rules and will result as if you were DF'd. Jdubs will shun you anyway.
I was DF'd out of stupidity. I wish I would have faded only because I still have family in ...:(
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fade_away
Lol! Can't believe you did that during the meeting!!!
Well, fading works well when you move far from your current congregation. I faded successfully because of just that. But if you're gonna stay in the area, I recommend DA. I was lucky that my wife was all for it. She faded with me and my parents don't shun us. Some of my friends do, but whatever...I can always make new friends. My wife's mother shunned her at first but is recently starting to talk to her again because her dad spoke with her mom and convinced her it's not right to shun a daughter for her decisions.
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wha happened?
I faded over time and some of my JW friends never knew. When they found out I wasn't attending meeting for 5 years+, they were blown away. I did say so much for the dog returning to it's vomit. I stated that whatever was moral still is, and whatever wasn't moral still isn't. But most were very blown away that they couldn't tell by my actions or speech.
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tootired2care
Fading... as Billy the Ex-Bethelite stated this has given me a good opportunity to expose and call things out, over the months. This has helped those that I care about to see the truth of the Borg, my wife is still not on board yet. Me and my wife had some real good discussions after last curcuit assembly where they had a demonstration about not questioning the slave using the "new generation" teaching as the subject of the exchange between two brothers, and many of the recent meetings which are just getting stranger and more desperate by the week.