It's disgusting - no argument from me. On the other hand - I'm being careful how I word this - how anyone who is disfellowshipped could vainly continue to try to have contact with his/her family over a 10-year period beggars belief. If the stories true, I wonder how many actual overtures he attempted??
Why would any self-respecting person keep approaching flesh and blood who have so completely and utterly scorned him?
Why couldn't he summon the wherewithal to build his own life apart from these cold-blooded zombies? Presumably he's not still in diapers and absolutaely needing parental guidance?
If this man had managed to build his own life, to take responsibility for his life, rather than remaining addicted to familial cuddles, he could have preserved his own integrityand built his own affirming relationships elsewhere. God knows the world is full of people who've had to abandon their birth families for all sorts of reasons, yet who have accrued their own families in response. I've seen people who've gone crazy and/or gone back because their families have so throughly scorned them. Once returned , they remain pathetic, hollow creatures who know damn well they have sold themselves and their personal integrity short.
No, as disgusting as the policy is, it can become one more "incentive" to get out and stay out - and to steadfastly refused to be manipulated by emotional blackmail.