someone who's shunning you? It's my sister's 10th anniversary today. I sent her an anniversary card in the mail, and am reeeeally hoping it doesn't get returned to me. She's been shunning me for 2 years because I let her know (NICELY and CALMLY) why I don't want to be a jw anymore. I hate her husband. He's a jackass ministerial servant. And I really wish they never got married. But I love my sister, even though she's so cult-minded. Not sure if I should just leave it alone....or pursue contact? I also enclosed a picture of my baby for her daughter, whom is not allowed to talk to me. I doubt she'll actually have it given to her.
What is the protocol for sending an anniversary card to...
by AwSnap 13 Replies latest jw friends
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AllTimeJeff
Send the card. When in doubt, do the normal, loving thing.
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ShadesofGrey
When in doubt, do the normal, loving thing.
Agreed!
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AwSnap
I always picture kids who grow up and are furious with people who "didn't try harder" to know them. I picture this scenerio with my niece towards me. Then again, if I didn't want my child to know a certain person, I'd be PISSED if they kept trying to pursue contact. Then again, I am a good person who simply doesn't want to be a jw. It's tough.
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magnox
Hey, :) Just been through this dilema myself! It can be worrying when you reach out to a family member in the org, for fear of rejection or maybe scaring them off, but I guess the answer I came to that there is no protocol to follow for you personally. It sounds like you love and miss your sister very much, and of course youy will want to aknowledge her anniversary. The thing to remember in these cases that it is THEM who have been restricted from assosciating or showing any natural family affection, not you!
I was in two minds on whether to send my mum and father who are heavily into the org an anniversary card, I was worried it would be slung in the bin, or worse, sent back unopened, but I realised in the end even if these things did happen, they would still know I love them, and to me the opportunity to extend love in some way to the ones I love but are left behind in the org is not one to be missed. And at the weekend when they rung to speak to the kids, my mum actually spoke to me very briefly to express thanks for the anniversary card, which I did not expect at all, although in your case with your sisters husband being a mini, you may not get such a unexpected reply (although you never know) but at the very least your sister will know you love her and are thinking of her :)
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Iamallcool
say "I love you!", it might touch her heart. P.S. I do not know if you have REALLY sent the card already.
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TOTH
Sending a loving and sincere card is a good thing to do. even if it is returned, accept the love that you attached with it and take it back inside yourself.
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mauiboy
Send it....for all the reasons above. Whats the worst that can happen? It may be returned unopened. But if you don't send it, you'll be 2nd guessing yourself forever. And send another next year....
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dozy
The latest Watchtower tightens up the "shunning" process by encouraging JWs to have absolutely no contact whatsoever with DFd ones. So expect it to be binned - it certainly won't be put on display where it might be seen by other JWs. But I would still send the card - it is a decent thing to do. It might cut through the cult mentality. And if you are married , it might give them a tiny pang of conscience when they decide not to send you a card.
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AwSnap
My anniversary is next week. And yes, I did send the card. It just said "We want to wish you a very happy anniversary. We love you."
And, no, I certainly do not expect a "happy anniversary" back