Joined up, long time looking (page 2)

Welcome Highline20: You are giving your wife false hope by agreeing to attend some meetings. The next thing she'll be asking you to do, will be to go to an assembly/convention with her - just to help with the baby of course! Also, get ready for a "caring brother" to ask you to study with him.

You've stepped into quicksand, and the longer you remain, the harder it's going to be to get back out! Your wife is going to be hurt, embarrassed, and looked down upon by others when you eventually "abandon" her to continue on her own! Don't wait - do it now!,

ShirleyW

Interesting that you say she's always been a JW, yet she married a "worldly man". That's frowned upon in JWLand.

Is she a 100 per cent totally observant JW or, there's a few things she doesn't agree with or doesn't feel the need to attend all the meetings are go in field service,

Just wondering if she is totally into it how she allowed herself to marry a man that's an outsider.

roberto avon

Highline20, welcome!

I have a similar situation, I married a Jw 28 years ago, we have 3 children ( 27,22,14 ) all of them don't want to know anything about the cult.

She goes a couple of times a month to the Sunday morning meetimg but no assemblies. I stopped going about 15/20 years go and since 6/7 years I don't go to the memorial.

Crazyguy

I agree with the above statements, going to meetings is not a good idea and now that you have a kid you need to actively start raising your child not to be a cult member it will ruin thier life.

Sofia Lose

If she has always been a JW and she violated the big no-no of marrying a non-JW, you have nothing to worry about. Yes, in her heart of hearts, she is only going through the motions and is not a true JW in essence.

Welcome!

SL

highline20

hi there, thanks all for your comments

Alittle more about me: well actualy I allready had a bible study, it lasted about 6 months, back in 2010.

Been to asemblies , memoriels, but never did or will do FS.

After we moved, we also moved congregation, some elders came by our home to "welcome" us, yeah right. I could see it right away, that it was a guilt trip to my wife. I made it simple to them, I dont believe in God or any religion, to be honest, after my bible study in 2010, the jws managed to make me see all the BS, bt what the heck it was a free dinner every monday and sometimes sunday after meeting :) I just took advantages of the elder andd his wife I studied with, heehehehehe .

After we moved to the new cong, we have not heard a simgle word from any in the old hall, well ofcouse I dont expect to hear from any, but my wife did have a few "friends", but nada, not once.

the reason I wrote here was also cuz, I woundered, that since my wife married a "wordly" man and they don't recommend that, only to marry in faith and people even et disfollowshiped for marring wordly, but my wife never even talked to elders or anything.

My wife even join my family at christmas, birthdays easter etc.

I dont know, but one thing why she still hang on to jw, could be, bc she dont want dissapoint her mom, even that she is 10000 km away (dad not jw)

i totally agree, this religion, is not a religion, it uses the bible as a cover, but its all abot fear control guilt tripping. I do understand why people get depressed.

Master_Bob

highline20, warm welcome!

In my opinion the best way to help your wife stop wasting her time is to help her get socialized outside of the organization. For a JW everything is about religion and co-belivers. And since it's a new country for her it may be difficult to find friends outside the congregation.

Help her find friends that she enjoys spending time with OUTSIDE the religion, may it be your relatives, neigbour co-workers or whatever. Spend more time together with normal people and stop buying cheap tricks from JWs, like free lunch.

You may also help her with her guilts about not doing enough for her religion by assuring that god understands her, that now she has a baby to take care of and all the staff :-)

Be supportive, but at the same time indiffernet when she tries to talk to you about religion.
In this forum you can find many suggestions as to how to speak properly to JWs, by asking questions, etc, to help them understand the abusive essence of their religion.

Good luck.

menrov

Hi highline20, so your wife was not very obedient to the organisation when she decided / accepted to marry you, a non-JW, a worldly person .......
I am just teasing.
But I am interested to understand why you decided to date and marry her, knowing she was a JW and why she did the same towards you knowing you are not a JW. In other words, did the fact that she was a JW and you were not play a role? that is basically what I am interested in.
It is pure curiosity. And if you do not want to share that, I can appreciate that as well !!

rebel8

are you saying she is able to report preaching hours I join her at meeting??

Yes, it counts as a 'return visit' because she is re-witnessing to you. And she can count her time 'bringing' you there and any time she spends chatting about the meeting before and after.

I hate it and I'm sure everybody at the KH can tell

She gets bonus points for this, socially speaking. She is now both the pitiful Wife in a Divided Household and the faithful Wife Who Gets Her Unbelieving Husband to Attend Meetings Even Though He Doesn't Want to. Sympathy and admiration.

I personally know someone like you who went for years and finally gave in and joined. Witnesses know these stories--they pass them around all the time and are all undoubtedly believing your 'hard heart' is softening. Often they are unable to fathom how a person could be repeatedly exposed to their Special Truths w/o joining.

Joined up, long time looking

stuckinarut2

The Searcher