Did you DF yourself on purpose?

by Evidently Apostate 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  Evidently Apostate

  Lately i have been thinking about saying something apostate to my elder father in law. He is an uber witness and actually believed that god interveined and saved him when he had a heart attack and kept him alive, until he told me that and i asked him why jehovah allowed JWs in Nazi concentration camps to suffer horribly and die but he loved an alcoholic more than them.

  I havent been to a KH in 6 months or in service in years. i grew a beard and basicallyhe avoids talking to me. i could care less but he and his wife talk to my wife and lay on the guilt. i am getting sick of the attitude from all of them. the fake sympathy and condesending looks are pathetic and if i am DFed i wonder if most of the bullshit from the witnesses will go away. Most of the old jw friends i had are shunning me already so why not DF on purpose. They wouldnt be disfellowshiping me, i am disfellowshipping them.
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  Glander

  First, I resigned as an elder. Then I grew a beard. Then I openly disagreed with, and criticized, Watchtower doctrine. I knew I could avoid DF'ing if I said the right words in the JC meeting. I didn't say the 'right words'. They DF'd me.

  So yes, I did it on purpose. This was 31 years ago. If I had it to do over I would DA instead. Because a DA letter gives one a platform to essentially say, "you can't fire me because I quit."
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  stillstuckcruz

  Like glander said, I'd rather go out, in effect, saying "you can't fire me because I quit."

  Whenever I leave the organization, I refuse to be kicked out. It will be known that it was my choice to leave, not the other way around.
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  exjehovah

  I would say disassociate yourself, it allows you to create the exit rather than them.

  I actually DF myself on purpose. I refused to meet with them, I told them I didn't want to be a JW and I had serious problems with their religion. They kept telling me I needed to come back. I stopped taking their calls, and they sent me a certified letter. If I had to do it over again, I would have disassociated myself or just slipped into the night.
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  AllTimeJeff

  Write a letter. Write it on one side of one page. (Bethel policy). Don't make it long. Make it pretty damn biting.

  When I put in my resignation letter, the elders still wanted to meet with me. In my case, they held off announcing it for several weeks because it came completely out of the blue. I had planned it all, and gave off very little as to my intentions. Reading here (lurking) during that time convinced me that I had to go out on my terms. So I planned it all out.

  I moved out in a few hours to a new apartment, let my ex wife know that I was done with her in a seperate letter, and put my resignation letter with it. (we were staying at an elders house after coming back from Africa.)

  I say, resign. I also say if at all possible, save the drama. Plan on leaving and leave. Who cares if it shocks them? It's a cult, a no win situation. You can't change them. You can only move forward.
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  truth_b_known

  If you're DFed, the rank & file members of the congregation will believe you committed a sin that you were unrepentant for. By DAing yourself it will be announce that you are no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses and their will be no guessing. In addition, the more people DA themselves, the louder the message will be to the Popes of Brooklyn.
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  cantleave

  I just got to the stage where I couldn't give a crap one way or another. I stopped hiding who I was on here and joined apostate groups on facebook. It soon became known to the local elders I was "cantleave" and they came round my house with a pile of printouts from here and facebook.
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  troubled mind

  Isn't the announcement the same now whether you DA or are Df'd ? In either case I am pretty sure the announcement is the same ," so and so is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses "
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  MrFreeze

  I haven't been DF yet but that's probably because I refused to meet with the elders when they offered to "help" me. They have left me alone since. I guess they don't care just so long as I'm not infecting any members of the congregation with apostate thinkings. Or maybe because I was such a "beacon" in the congregation it would look horrible if they DF me. Or maybe they hoped I would return.
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  mamamo

  I DA'd back in 1990. I don't regret it for a moment. I told them to take a hike, they didn't tell me. You will get the same guilt trip from the family, I do if I communicate with them. I do feel bad because my mother is 70 but she always starts crying and saying how hard it is on her since I left, do I think I will ever come back, etc. So since that mentally diseased article in July, I said screw it, I have tried. She has my number and my son's, who wasn't ever a JW, if she needs something.