by jwfacts 34 Replies latest jw experiences
Confessing works under the right circumstances. I somehow feel that confidentiality is not respected by some members of the committee. Sometimes, certain Elder's families became aware of such private affairs and continued to spead it in the congregation. I have seen it happen, over, and over again. If trust is compromised, would you feel like confessing?
You're better off talking to a trusted friend or a qualied counsellor. My best friend, is God.
I somehow feel that confidentiality is not respected by some members of the committee.
You are right. We had a problem with confidentiality in our congregation. When we challenged the elder we suspected and asked him if he thought it was ok for elders to divulge confidences to their wife he replied "it depends on the sort of relationship he has with his wife".
He had an extended family that made up a large part of the congregation and a self-serving version of everything that was said at an elders meeting was public knowledge within hours.
That's right Cofty. Confidentiality is all too often compomised in a congregation setting. Having said that, there are certain Elders that I do trust, and then there are many that I don't.
I remember so time ago, when an unbaptised smoker women who occasionially attended the meetings devulged some confidentiality about someone who lived 1000 miles away from us. She had heard about it through her fleshly sister, who's married to an Elder that handled the case. I had been told some very personal stuff about that case ....from someone outside of the congregation...imagine.
Marking for later
JW FACTS- My spirituality has improved since exiting the JW cult and NOT confessing any sins. Peace out, Mr. Flipper
We had a problem with confidentiality in our congregation.
Elders gossip more amongst themselves and with their wives more than a gagle of old women at a quilting bee. The "secret" info is what makes them feel special. Elders from other congregations will go off together and share interesting gossip about recent JC cases (without no names, of course -- but still everyone knows of whom they speak) as it makes them feel more important if they have judged cases of greater magnitude than their elder peers or if they judged high profile members of the area. Then the next morning, it's back to washing windows or cleaning toilets.
DOC
Hi ,I'm new here but I've been looking in for a while.This thread sort of touched a nerve.I've been disfellowshiped for 20 years now and I still think back to the confesional part and am a bit disgusted.I am ashamed to admit that I lost my virginity in the Kingdom Hall. Confessing was weird because the Elders were pressing me for more and more detail to the point that it felt creepy.(one of the elders who disfelowshipped me was later arested for molesting his 12 year old daughter). It was only after I left the J.W's that I started to understand my own spirtuality.I really enjoy some of the insites that I have read on this site and am thankfull that there is a forum for those who have survived "the Truth".
Hi smak, welcome to forum. Sadly its all too common for elders to abuse thier power for their own twisted pleasure.
You lost your virginity IN the kingdom hall? - wow!
Glad you started posting, make yourself at home.
Welcome Smak. I look forward to hearing more from you. I have been told from a lot of people that the elders meeting felt like a violation. I felt that way after meeting with 2 elders for something that was not at all my fault. A 19 yo friend stopped going to meetings after the elders grilled her for intimate details regarding what her uncle did to her as a 15yo. Putting untrained men into positions of such power is going to create problems, espessionally when they are also sexually repressed by the religion.
Welcome, smak!!
dogisgod~ I'm sorry to read that you had such a horrific experience. That could not have been easy to deal with...
With the elders in my last JC...one of them knew me from the time I was a baby...so it was kind of difficult telling him EXACTLY what I did. No one else asked for details because this was MY confession and I told them everything they needed to know and was adamant that what happened was ALL that happened. If they asked something that was too detailed, I gave a curt "No" and said "I told you... _____ was all I did". They got the hint.
