Received a very heart felt phone call tonite over the Df Watchtower article

by troubled mind 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  troubled mind

  Tonight one of my sons called me just to say ," Mom I love you ! " .

  He told me that this weekend he had read a thread posted by Kyria about the new Watchtower on shunning DF'd relatives ,and that it had really made him sad . He said, " Mom, I am so glad we are all out of the Jehovah's Witnesses ....I just don't think I could of stood it to think you guys not talking to me ...It really upsets me ." It choked me up ...I then reassured him that no matter what we would have never cut off one of our kids ,that is one of the major reasons I had to leave the JWs .

  He has told me recently how much he really likes who I am now .....

  I remember how afraid I was when i decided to stop going to meetings . At that time my two oldest children were still very active . I was so concerned that they would be pressured to shun me ,which I felt at the time would kill me ,but the reality was if I stayed in I might kill myself because I was so unhappy . It was the hardest thing I have done ...to take that leap into the unknown . There were so many 'what ifs'......so many jw instilled fears .....but now looking back it was the best decision I have ever made .

  My heart breaks for many of you on this forum when I read your stories about being stuck in or about your children being kept in by one parent . I feel your pain ,but Don't give up .....please . Sometimes things do work out .
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  ziddina

  What courage you have, Troubled Mind...

  I wish that I were as brave...
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  troubled mind

  ((Thanks Zid)))
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  etna

  I'm so glad for you troubled mind. It's nice that it has worked out well for you. Thanks for sharing.

  Etna
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  Scott77

  Thanks for sharing. Good luck, you fortunate family. I feel sorry for those still in. Sigh.

  Scott77
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  troubled mind

  I just hope my experience gives someone else the courage to do what they know they need to do . I know it is HARD ,I know it is scarry BUT I also know how much better it really can be . Sometimes it does woirk out !

  We came out immediate family intact : Mom ,Dad three children ,and one of the children's mate. We have also had losses : thirty yrs worth of friends ALL of them , one set of grandparents ,cousins ,Aunts and Uncles...

  But we still have each other and are making the most of that and re-building other relationships to fill in the gaps left by other once loved ones .

  Have courage follow your heart and what your soul is telling you . Unlike what the Jws say Your heart is NOT treacherous ...It is your inner voice listen to it !
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  its_me!

  Troubled --- I am so happy that you have your family out with you. Such a wonderful thing. I felt like you did about ending my life when I was a JW. I was very afraid to leave, but I knew that if I stayed married to my JW husband and in the religion, I was going to kill myself. Life is so much better now!
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  00DAD

  TM, Thank you for sharing. Your experience IS encouraging and I really needed it. The night before last I had a very upsetting phone conversation with my 17 year old son. He basically doesn't want anything to do with me or my "new life". At least occasionally we talk briefly, but often it goes like this. I try to understand because he must be conflicted and when we talk for even 15 minutes he is technically breaking the WT Rules. But it is heartbreaking.

  I least I get this. His older brother completely shuns me. I haven't talked to him in almost three years.
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  flipper

  TROUBLED MIND- THAT is very touching of your son to call you and express those sentiments. Bet it makes you feel proud of the young man he's become. I feel the same way about my son who is almost 27 now and exited the Witnesses at age 18. He's become a hell of a young man with love in his heart for the human race. I will take your advice and not give up on his JW sisters , my daughters, and hope that they too will exit this diabolical cult also some day. Until then my son, Mrs. Flipper, and me will hold out the olive branch to my daughters and will be here for them when they decide to leave the JW's. Gotta keep up hope ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  troubled mind

  ((( Flipper and 00Dad ))) Please hang in there and keep reaching out to your kids ....that is all you can do is offer them the olive branch and let them know how much you care no matter how badly they treat you . The sick mind garbage that they recieve through the Watchtower keeps them in a constant stae of confusion mentally and emotionally .....

  I vividly remember those days myself ! For years I would struggle internally because my oldest brother was DA'd . As a teen I would keep in contact with him regularly ,then after my baptism @17 I felt the pressure to follow the Watchtower counsel and shun him . Over the years my heart would relent and I would yearn to speak with him . We had limited contact . In my mind I lived a fantasy that if I did what Jehovah expected then my brother would come back . I would look for him at Conventions thinking he might show . As the yrs went by I married and had children ,he married and had a child yet we remained apart . I started thinking "What is so wrong with him having his own opinion ? He is a good man ,a great Dad ,he just doesn't want to be a JW ...So what ! " . My love for him remained strong . I felt unworthy as a Witness because I could not love Jehovah more than my family . It caused deep depression in me . I could not mentally break free from the cult mind control . Then ,as I saw my own children going through Watchtower HELL , I started to become stronger . When I went through seeing my Witness Mother suffer and die , realized how short this life is and precious . I did not want to waste one more second doing something that was not making me happy ,SO I LEFT the Watchtower society and began living life .

  How lucky i was that my brother never was bitter or angry with me . He was hurt and sad over the years ,but he never held that over me or kept a grudge . He was DA'd at age 18 .....He was 52 when I finally quit the JW's .......A LONGTIME ,but not forever . We now enjoy Thanksgiving together at his house for the past six yrs . This past Christmas was the FIRST time ever my whole family, and his, plus our never a JW Father were together to share a holiday and a meal .

  Look how long it took me to wake up ....there is hope for your loved ones too . Keep the door open to them . Make them understand you love them no matter what .