Those friendships dissolve organically. For a few years they stay close but there is effort to get you to go to an Assembly or the Memorial eventually you are just doing things differently and things fade.
Is it possible to be friends with a devout Jehovah's Witness?
by losthobbit 35 Replies latest jw friends
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tornapart
I never made any efforts to change them or force my ideas on them. I accepted them for who and what they were/are as they did/do me. They have been close friends for years now.
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InterestedOne
My JW acquaintance occasionally refers to her worldly acquaintances as "friends," but she refers to her fellow JW's as "best friends." She will say, "I'm going to visit some of my best friends," or "I'm having some of my best friends over." What she really means is that she's going to a JW gathering.
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BluesBrother
Interesting, InterestedOne............
When I was a devout dub I made a point of trying to get along with everybody. At work I had good relations with workmates, but of course that is just for work. I did not wish to socialize with them for fun. I would have considered it unwise and perhaps dangerous to do so.
J W's are given an impression of "worldly" people. In short, they are not to be trusted, the attitude is to say "They may seem nice people on the surface, but you can just guess what they get up to in private!" Also, the main topic of conversation among the friends I had "In the truth" was about our faith, the congregation and our activities. Chat about sports, last night's T V and the way young men viewed women..... was only a small part of our interest - So I felt that there would not be much to talk about.
So I guess I am saying that a devout J W may like to be "friendly" toward you, but he would not be able to count you as a real friend....IMHO of course.
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Londo111
That is not to say it is easy for a Witness to distance themselves from a non-Witness, and they might not want to be friends if circumstances were different. I know many a time I let friendships fizzle, thinking, "Too bad. I really like them. I wish they weren't going to die for good at Armageddon." It really hurt sometimes. It is really refreshing knowing TTATT.
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Ding
It's very difficult if not impossible because of the WTS' us v. them mindset. The WTS creates this mindset in JWs and then blames the resulting friction on persecution by the world!
Look at the way the WT forces JWs to raise their kids. They aren't allowed to participate in any extra-curricular activities at school, attend parties, or celebrate birthdays or holidays. That makes it very hard for other kids to be friends with them.
Association with non-JWs (except to convert them) is seen as worldly association, bad assocation, corrupting association.
If a JW gets in a real bind and you go out of your way to be kind to them (without trying to attract them into your religion), it's a real culture shock for them. You are showing them unconditional love and acceptance, something that they don't receive in the Watchtower. They probably will suspect you of having some ulterior motive.
If their trouble was caused by some lapse in WT-mandated behavior, JWs will treat them with condemnation rather than loving concern. In that event, your unconditional love and acceptance may give you a chance to become their friend. If that happens, they will no longer meet the description of being a "devout Jehovah's Witness."
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LongHairGal
LOST HOBBIT: The real honest answer is NO. I am an eleven year "fader" who has a few "friends" left in the religion. One of them understands my mind and doesn't push. The others are single women "doormats" with low self-esteem who are people-pleasers. While I do like them at some level, I curtail my associations with THEM because I cannot stand the mindset. There is another more remote "friend" who lives in another state and she is married. She cannot relate to my life as a single working woman and she is also super loyal to the religion and will get teary eyed in her emotions and her "love" for the whole thing! In all honesty, I was never like her even when I was in the religion. I suppose at some level I didn't buy it all.
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losthobbit
I like what you wrote, Ding... "showing them unconditional love and acceptance." Worth giving a try :)
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therevealer
Are there any "true friends" even amongst the "devout" Jehovah's Witnesses? When one looks at what will cause persons that you felt were true friends to drop you like a hot potato it can make one realize that true friendship within the borg is rare indeed.
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Phizzy
Short answer, to thread title , NO.
It is not even possible to be friends with the most non-devout JW, what they would term a "weak" JW, even these guys will drop you like a hot spud if you show any doubts about their religion, and even those guys will stab you in the back and not keep confidences,, and will speak ill of you after they have dropped you.
Friendship ? Jehovah's Witnesses do not know what that means, honestly, they do not have a clue, it does not exist in Watchtower world.