Should I say something?

by Flat_Accent 19 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Flat_Accent

  My parents are quite popular in their congregation, and they're constantly inviting brothers and sisters over. As I've been part of the org for 19 years I know all these people very well, and before I DA'd myself I was good friends with all of them. Every other friday they invite a single brother round for dinner, just to cheer him up a bit. But obviously, having 3 witnesses round a dinner table, the subject of 'The End' always comes up. And it frustrates me, in a couple of ways. First, they know I do not share their opinion on anything but they continue to talk about it. Second, I get the feeling they're trying to reach out to me by reminding me how close we are . I see it as insulting that they can't respect my decision to leave (which was purely for doctrinal reasons, not to go off and 'sin') and just avoid the subject. I really get an urge to say something, but I'm not sure that it's such a wise choice.

  I'm wondering if any of you have had the same problem? Is it worth disagreeing?
• 

  leavingwt

  If it's not your house, then you will want to avoid the topic of religion.
• 

  Flat_Accent

  If only it were my house. I wouldn't have them over to begin with.
• 

  Yan Bibiyan

  Can you, hmmm, excuse yourself from the dinner?

  If they are trying to send you a message, who says you can't send messages too.
• 

  LostGeneration

  The brother still comes to dinner even though you are DA'd?

  I agree with LWT on the subject of who's home it is.

  You could go with stifled laughter when they start talking about "the end"
• 

  journey-on

  Do you live there? If so, their house their rules.

  You see it as disrespectful, but being JWs, they see it as encouraging you to return.

  IMO, you have two choices. Have something else planned that night, or sit there respectfully and plant your own seeds gently.

  By the way, why would any single JW brother sit at the dinner table with a self-avowed apostate.
• 

  Flat_Accent

  Yep. I mean really they probably shouldn't be talking to me at all. But they still come over, though conversation towards me is kinda stifled. I'm more of an extra, if you catch my drift.

  I like your idea, LostGeneration. Just the odd cackle every now and then. >:D Although going out could be a good idea too.
• 

  yesidid

  I am amazed they are even talking to you.

  Actually you have it a lot better than most in your position.
• 

  TheSilence

  I used to have brunch at my dad's house every Sunday and now and again he would invite other witnesses to join us. It was his house so when discussion turned that way I simply chose not to participate in it without being disparaging. To me it would have been disrespectful to be rude to my dad's guests in his own home. The only time I slipped was one time when we were leaving one of the guys (I will not call them brothers) asked me if I still attended any meetings. I told him I didn't. He said, "Well, we will have to work on changing that." Without thinking the words out of my mouth were, "Yeah, good luck with that." But I give myself a pass on that one as the conversation was not around me but rather the comment was made directly to me. ;)

  Best,

  Jackie
• 

  redvip2000

  I'm still wondering why these "brothers" come over and actually sit and eat with you. The instructions from the Org is that you should be treated as DFed.

  In any case, i know what you mean. In fact there are still some friends and family of mine which know i dont attend meetings but don't know exactly why, so when they ask me if i'm going to meeting i say no, and then have to endure the "pitty" looks and the " too bad you are not good enough" looks.

  It makes me boil inside honestly, but i bite my tongue because speaking out, would probably result in some sort of shunning and i'm still trying to avoid that. What i would really like to say is that organization is not good enough for me, and i know that at some point, i'll have to start saying that, despite the consequences.