Tough spot nvr2lte, being a grandparent has to be difficult. I beleive if you have kids you cannot sit on the fence. You should get out no matter what. But I dont know how I would approach being a grandparent because you dont have the control that a parent would have. Do you think your son would cut off all ties with you if you went full on apostate?
I would think if you da'd then just started to do normal things like christmas and the like then you could SHOW your grandaughter these normal things but if your son cuts off all ties that makes it pretty difficult. If you were to just sit on the fence and fade you may be able to have an influence on your grandaughter when she is older but by then she will be pretty well indoctrinated. Tough spot man. I guess try to be an open door for her and ALWAYS have an ear to listen to her. Be the one non-judgemental voice that will listen to ANYTHING she has to say. I know as a born-in myself of a single mother, I knew if i went to meetings w/out my mom or reached for the school or service people would praise me up and down. It will be difficult to break that love-bombing but I remember from a young age not really being able to speak my opinion out of fear that I would get into trouble. Only now do i realize how effed up that is. Be the ear that can hear what she is truly thinking.
Good luck!
pbrow