I don't know where to start. Hoping to find a place to ventilate my feelings of long period... Language is a barrier as English is not my primary language, I will still give it a try.
Baptized in 2000, the message they brought to me was the end of world that everyone were talking to at that eve of millennium... I believed and started reading my first book, My Bible Story, for consecutive 10 hours. During the Bible study, the Bible instructor told me he suspected I had some form of mental disorder, and later was diagnosed as schizophrenia. So, I am still on meds until today for schizophrenia, and carry a burden for betrayal to Jehovah and the whole brotherhood.
While I believe the Bible itself, I have some doubts that the Governing Body is heavily relates the prophecies in Revelations books to theirs in the modern days.
I could not trust Christianity as a whole, though. A anointed pastor from US came to Malaysia and was asked to cast out demons inside my body because they believed my mental disorder was caused by those wicked spirit... The ailment itself is simply natural because of inherited sin and not a supernatural ones. I did followed my pursuit on Buddhism, an Eastern religion but I was and am not a Buddha yet! (according to Buddhism, everyone has the chance to become a Buddha, in an awakening state)
I guess I would study Confucius and those ancient books from old China. While I believe the Bible itself, I just think like some of you have said, J.W. is just another _____(I forgot the exact word) of the end times...