If they ask, I'll say. If not, that's ok. We've been through it all before over and over anyways and both camps like where they are.
Here's a question for the OP; if your dying parent asked you to return to Christ, what would you say?
Should you ever tell tour aging parents the truth about the truth
by Star tiger 31 Replies latest forum announcements
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maksym
Dear Star Tiger,
I think firstly it is more important to develop a strong post-cult personality per Steve Hassan's advice (Combatting Cult Mind Control). A new identity outside the WT mind control program in which you can clearly make decisions and hold to a strong new worldveiw is vital. I think people need a strong and robust alternative worldview and healing period before they attempt this. Otherwise I feel you should not tell them.
By breaking news to your parents now, (assuming you are still searching for that replacement worldview, or are still in the process of healing), will only give them strength to remain in something they hold strongly to. You can't break them of their worldview if yours is weak and not presentable.
On the other hand if and when you have thoroughly replaced the WT mindset with an alternative, and perhaps adapted a new spiritual path, it is then I believe it's vital that you do tell them regardless. As the old Wathtower adage says, "where will we go to", will ring in their minds. If you have moved on in a truly believable and demonstratable way, then they will perhaps see the changes you've made and question their stronghold in the WT.
On a personal note;
My mother and father have been in the Corporation all their lives. I told them my new found faith in Christ and His Church. They took it well but I think they would'nt have had as much respect for me if I told them I'm just "out there" searching or told them their views are bogus because of xy and z, if you know what I mean.
In any event if you do decide to accept Christ in your life you would be better off telling your parents because only through Him can we be saved and not through a corporation. In this event let the heartache fall where it may. Tell them first chance. If you witness for Christ then you give them a chance also to be in paradise with Him, just as the theif on the cross confessed Christ at the moment of his death.
It's never to late. Time is short.
Peace
Maksym
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Phizzy
I told them that I do not believe in anything, belief being in the sense of trusting in something without proof, if they could prove to me that theirs was the true religion then I would return. The proof would have to stand up to scientific/forensic style scrutiny.
The fact that they have not come to me with such proof must make them realise that their "truth" is not supported, I do not need to tell them more.
They are still active in the religion.
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stillstuckcruz
Depends on how "aging" is "aging". My parents are in their early 50's and I will certainly tell them. My grandparents, on the other hand, are mid to late 80's. I will never tell them, though they will find out eventually I'm sure. They have been in it the VAST majority of their lives. At this point, it's all they have left, and I won't take that little joy away from them. They can live out their lives in blissful ignorance if it makes them happy for the last few years....
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Black Sheep
Tell them nothing that they don't already know (but don't like to think about).
Ask questions only. You want them to tell you they raised you in a cult. It won't work if you try to tell them that.
Remember that it was their choice to raise you in this church. They made that choice while ignoring evidence that the WT is not what it claims to be.
Why should they get off without paying the price for their choices?
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EmptyInside
I stay clear of the subject with my mother anymore. I only share points to explain to her the reasons I can no longer be a Witness. But,I rarely bring it up. We have an unspoken truce.
The only time it gets to me is when she expresses feeling guilty when she misses meetings or service when she doesn't feel well. I see the elderly Witnesses really push themselves,especially to go out in field service ,when they should be resting and taking better care of themselves.
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00DAD
Not much can be added to all the good advice and suggestions for consideration so far.
If you want to go deeper, REALLY DEEP, read Nietzsche's "Birth of Tragedy"
Nietzsche found in classical Athenian tragedy an art form that transcended the pessimism and nihilism of a fundamentally meaningless world. The Greek spectators, by looking into the abyss of human suffering and affirming it, passionately and joyously affirmed the meaning of their own existence. They knew themselves to be infinitely more than petty individuals, finding self-affirmation not in another life, not in a world to come, but in the terror and ecstasy alike celebrated in the performance of tragedies. - The Birth of Tragedy from the Spirit of Music
Basically, he concluded that although Plato clearly debunked the Greek myths, their life had art, music, poetry and drama, in a word: Beauty and Meaning. Platonic philosophy on the other hand brought us the Dark Ages.
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Miles3
I'd give them the gift of choice, instead of deciding for them. They are free beings, they are worth the truth if they want to discover it.
Just ask them if they'd prefer knowing a truth even if it might hurt them greatly, or keep with what they've always beleived.
I know for myself even if I was in their situation and was to die in the next few days, month or years, I'd want to know the truth, and would actually punch in the face any so-called friend that knew something like that but tried to hide it from me.
Even people that have a terminal ilness and only a few month to live can still achieve a lot - do some of the things that always really mattered for them but that they always postponed. Even with a few hours, I'd spend them reading a lot about the subject, and would be allowed to realign my past life with reality.
Some atheists have the feeling the truth has nothing to offer for comfort, unlike religion, and are afraid to leave people with nothing. That is because they themselves haven't yet developped a compeling narrative, not because life as an atheist leaves you with nothing. Life through reality's lens is wonderful, and inscribing yourself in the "greatest show on earth" is far more compeling than some myth developped thousand of years ago by people who where the antic conterpart of today's abusive cults. Even when you have only a few days, month or years to incribe yourself in it, it can give a real sense to your past life that your previous belief system never had in any convincing way.
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Mickey mouse
"We never free a mind once it's reached a certain age. It's dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go." - Morpheus, The Matrix.
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Mickey mouse
I will add, there are some parents who can't cope with their grown child not being beside them at the kingdom hall, even without knowing the reasons why. Should the child (an adult) remain a JW just to save them from the psych unit?