When Someone You Love Is Removed As An Elder!

by Bubblegum Apotheosis 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  Londo111

  Unfortunately, within the existing framework, elders cannot really do much good, especially if they still believe in the Organization. Their hands are tied. They are too busy building up their field service hours, preparing for meeting parts, getting the rank and file into service and attending meetings. Not to mention all the congregation duties they may have. Then they have to navigate within the unscriptural rules of the Flock Book and any marginal notes handed down from above.

  Stepping away from all that, and shepparding outside the straitjacket confines of that arrangement, would give them more of a chance to do real good.
• 

  No Room For George

  BBGA, I know the brother of whom you speak!

  Yes, he "stepped down" or "resigned", but basically he was badgered into doing so. For years he's stood up to the crap that the rest of the BOE tried to shovel on the R&F, and managed to prevent some of us from being buried in it. But since the CO got back from the School for Traveling Brothers, he has been unyielding. "My way or the Highway." Brother Doe took the "wrong" position once too many times. Where the hell he got the idea that something the CO demanded that could not be supported by Scripture might be debatable is beyond me. Cut off at the knees.

  Yeah, frankly it's probably worse for his wife. She always lived vicariously through him being an Elder. It gave her "status". Now she has nothing. He'll be OK. He'll find relief. He'll sit back and laugh his ass off at whoever has to do all the work he used to carry. . . . or it just won't get done.

  If fact, I know TWO of them who went through this so far THIS YEAR.

  I don't miss it. I hope Brother Doe does not either.

  Doc

  This right here, and Billy's too. I'm watching some things develope in our congregation at this very moment. I don't know how it's gonna play out in the end, but I wouldn't be surprise if we lose a very good brother. He's either going to go to another congregation, or he's going to step down and laugh at all the jackasses who want to play princes and kings in the congregation. I swear being an elder can make or break a man, and when I say that, I don't men break in the sense of an elder stepping down. Rather I mean he gives in to the game and becomes part and parcel to the politics and bull-crap. When it makes a man, that man either goes to a congregation without the drama, or he resigns entirely, or even lets the body delete him. He's more of a man for being smart enough to back out and let the other jackasses break their neck for a pipe dream.
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  Broken Promises

  He's more of a man for being smart enough to back out and let the other jackasses break their neck for a pipe dream.

  Ironic.
• 

  Phizzy

  A JW who has been in for over six decades said to me a while ago "All the good brothers have left" (I really don't know why he doesn't, he sees a lot of the problems for what they are).

  This guy in the OP sounds like another one who has been squeezed and pressured to the point where he may well leave too. Some guys rise above it all, I know of one Elder, similar to the guy described, always helping people and visiting the sick etc, he was removed, but now he is back "serving", you never know how it will affect them.

  I think there are definately more Ex-Elders than serving Elders now, says a lot about the job really.
• 

  Bangalore

  The WT seems to prefer yes men as elders.

  Bangalore
• 

  nugget

  When my husband stepped down we were both relieved. Not having to deal with the pressure of being an elder under constant scrutiny and criticised for every petty thing was a release. When he originally spoke to me about stepping down I was concerned because I knew that the congregation would inevitably think badly of him but when it happened we didn't care his health and happiness was more important than futile pursuit of status.

  Noone really expressed regret or showed appreciation for all he had done which is a sad indictment of this faith. Even though my husband hung on for a bit hoping that he could make a difference and protect the sheep, he was soon made to realise that not all elders are equal and that a bad elder with influence can accomplish more than a good one with principles.
• 

  truthseeker1969

  I remember a brother when i was a teen who was asked to step down.

  A new COBE came in and he said he basically did not fit the mold. Interestingly those brothers who kissed the COBE bum were all elevated to Elder.

  Anyhoo, it devastated this poor brother who as far as I can see was removed because of the way he dressed and his income leve. He was a poor man who had literally nothing. He too loved the congregation and always let people know what they mean to him.

  I have never understood why anyone would want to be an Elder as it is all about control, the antithesis of what Jesus taught and fear that they will be removed if they are not "in line" on everything.

  The brother they elevated to elder was the most un-inspiring, verbally and mentally abusive man I ever had the misfortune of meeting. I remember once he ripped the microphone from my hand because I dared to pick it up and take it to a sister when another brother went to the restroom who was supposed to be carrying the mic.

  I never trusted elders and never will.
• 

  Reopened Mind

  Nugget, what you said really resonates with TotallyADD and me. We experienced similar when he decideda to resign as an elder. There were those who wanted him to remain an elder, but I suspect it was because he was one who would willingly take parts when others were sick, spearhead the remodeling of a woefully neglected hall, help with repair of elderly sisters' houses, serve in any position, not to mention his regularly taking the lead in field service. When hurricanes threatened he called everyone to make sure they had a safe place to stay. Like your husband when he stepped down there was no appreciation for his faithfulness through the years. It is so true what you said, "a bad elder with influence can accomplish more than a good one with principles."

  truthseeker1969, please don't make a blanket judgment of all elders. There are good ones. Unfortunately they get chewed up and spit out by the organization. Often they leave due to burn out or frustration. In my 40 years in the organization I have known elders on all points of the sprectrum.

  Reopened Mind
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  baltar447

  Wow does this resonate with my experiences as well. A whole body of elders, most of whom were our good friends was removed. There was basically one company-man asshole who thought things should be run HIS way. He thought the PO at the time was "not a strong enough leader" and he managed to get a couple more on his side and caused never ending problems finally a new CO came through and removed the whole body. Most of them ended up relocated to our hall and eventually were reappointed as MS's (silly).
• 

  BluesBrother

  I do not want to sound harsh...but is this really such a big deal? It may set the gossip tongues wagging, but he is still in his faith, he still is part of his family and is still a J W "in good standing"

  It is a moot point as to whether my standing down was accepted or whether they removed me - you could read it both ways but it made no difference to my relationship with the main body of "brothers" or with God. Any relationship with the B of E was shot anyway. If he were guilty of anything substantial, there would have been a Judicial Announcement.

  Let him enjoy more time with his family and be pleased for him......