What do you think about this?

OneDayillBeFree

There's so much going on in my life right now but I'll be posting more about that later.

To get straight to the point (I'm actually in the meeting right now) my mother has been very depressed about a lot of things lately. She is a regular pioneer and is a JW who many think is happy but she's a good faker and knows all to well how to put on a fake smile to cover up her true feelings.

But just today after service on our way home she told me something that surprised me. She said, "I think you should go to college". Now this may seem like something all mothers tell their children at some point but the thing is that she has always been anti-education, just like my father.

I couldn't believe what I had just heard and nearly drove off the road. I asked why and she said, "I don't want you to waste your life doing nothing for yourself. You should be out there doing what you want!" I told her that I had been wanting to go but that I thougt I wasn't allowed to and she just said that it didn't matter what anyone else thought. Then I asked if my father knew and she quickly replied "No! And dont tell him anything yet!"

This really surprised me! It only got stranger when we were leaving for the meeting and she said out loud so my father could hear, "I'm only going to the meeting because I don't want anyone to say anything about me but I don't want to go at all!"

I wonder if this is just a trick to see how I really feel but I don't know. I remember telling her once that I wasn't sure about my future with the organization.

So what do you think? What should I do? I'll have to cut it short since the meeting is still going on but I look forward to your replies.

OneDayillBeFree

Lozhasleft

It sound very much like your mum is waking up...let's hope so anyway. The recent WTBS stance re Higher Education may have really 'got' to her. I hope you manage to find support in each other to gain freedom.

Loz x

biometrics

Your mum probably has doubts, a lot do after the 1914 generation thing.

I suspect your mum genuinely wants the best for you and your future. I doubt it's a trick.

cofty

Sounds very much like your mum is starting to think for herself.

A realisation that the end isn't just around the corner perhaps?

Please let us know how it goes.

Black Sheep

Tell her you think you should go to college too and that you will be very grateful to have her backing when your father gets told.

Then give her a hug

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

This has been more the situation with my dad than my mom.

I wonder if this is just a trick to see how I really feel but I don't know.... So what do you think? What should I do?

It doesn't sound like much of a trick. Not like she's questioning you on doctrine. Since she already suffers with depression, I'd suggest that you be clear that you love her very much regardless of how she feels. And certainly if you had an education and career, you'd be in a much better situation to support and take care of yourself and your parents, if such a need should ever arise. From what I've observed, parents will too often connect the notion of their kids leaving JWs and their kids leaving them. In my case, I've tried to made it clear that I'm fading from the KH and NOT fading from my family.

I'd also suggest that you strike while the iron is hot. Get information on community colleges, universities, and their degree programs. Start talking to your mother about what she thinks would be a good career for you. Ask her what kind of career would have interested her.

And if you go with a local school, ask her if she'd like to take some classes with you.

I'm in university now... although I'm more than twice your age. So, of course, I highly recommend 'higher education.' If you have any questions you think I can help with, send me a PM.

blond-moment

The problem for the WT is that most of us who have children old enough for college, remember very well, we were never going to need college. We are all now middle aged, and turns out we sure could have used that education.

It's like any dictatorship, or cult or anything, control get too tight, people are going to rebel. The control is getting tighter and tighter, the dogma is getting more fanatical, their equalling themselves to God and Jesus more pronounced. I do think for many, they are having trouble defending it, at least to themselves. The cogs of denial are starting to lose their spokes.

I wish you all the best, but I do agree with your gut, I would take her up on it, but I would tread lightly.

Flossycat

Your mum's situation sounds genuine. She probably feels trapped after giving so much of her life to the JWs. No wonder she's depressed. So many JWs put on a happy face when in fact they're not happy - they've been disappointed by failed doctrines and 180degree backflips on teachings, not to mention many other inconsitencies they've 'witnessed' within their melieu. Wouldn't be surprised at all that she's re-thinking life in the org since the change in 'this generation' doctrine. Play it cool for the moment in my humble opinion, and grab that chance for college. With a college education in the making for you, it'll be a great springboard for your future. "Good on you Mum. It's taken you guts to say what you've said." Big hug from me, too.

sizemik

It sounds like your Mum is having genuine doubts. Surface indications are often only the tip of an iceberg . . . there's usually much more lurking in the mind which remains unsaid. I would suggest from the meeting comment that she has mentally woken up.

Tread very carefully though. She has her marriage and friends to consider and is probably experiencing inner turmoil. Let things happen at a natural pace. Stay close to her . . . she will need you.

00DAD

It sounds like a genuine attempt to assert her authentic self.

I'd run with this, but run carefully like you're running with scissors ... because you are!

Running with Scissors

Have you seen this thread about a recent letter to the BOE regarding higher education? Go to it, d/l the letter and read it!

Best wishes from an ex-elder with a B.A. in Education

What do you think about this?

Share this