I was a devout good little Witness boy before I really researched the Borg. I would listen to most of the talks because they truly interested me when I believed. When it was an uninteresting topic, or when I was doubting I would think of girls, my various activities on the Internet including making money and playing games, and think of my various video game ideas and keep expounding upon the stories, that I plan to use when I become a video game designer.
Things you did to pass the time at meetings/service/assemblies/conventions/memorials
by OneDayillBeFree 32 Replies latest jw experiences
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Never_Enough
I would've left a long time ago if I hadn't been involved with Public Address at the Kingdom Hall, Circuit and District assemblies. The distraction of it all made the meetings/sessions easier to bear. I used to hope for "catastrophic failures" (like when our Kingdom Hall's mixer blew its fuse but no one knew how to change it) for a chance to do something different, even shine a little.
And when that wasn't enough, Public Address was was such a perfect "out" for me: anytime I felt like getting up to "check a speaker", "trace a line" or whatever -which meant anytime the boredom was too much to bear- I just did. With an SPL meter or 2-way radio in hand and a purposeful walk, no one questions you; attendants actually get of out of your way.
Unfortunately, all this only works for men. The last year I was still "in" was the year my wife and I got married. I felt guilty, being able to escape whenever/wherever I wanted to (key: always carry a clipboard... works like a charm) and she'd be left back at our seats, having to sit through it all. No escape for the womenfolk (unless they've got children, I guess). Misogyny in action!
Having "done sound" since I was 12 I often wonder, had I had to sit still (and stare at ceiling tiles) like everyone else, if I would've woken up to the nonsense of it all much, much earlier.
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jookbeard
counted how many times I could wee during a Thur MS/SM, became an expert on airtraffic as the flight path was over Twickenham during the summer DC's , would search out fellow binocular users as my father had a lovely set that were glued to me, popped out to a local bar one meeting had a quick beer and came back, would run after the DF'ed ones who would leave early and tell them I'll always talk to them, would sit in the library searching out old books from the Russel/Rutherfraud era.
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WTWizard
I remember wishing the rules weren't so damn inflexible. Why does the rule against fornication have to be absolute? Besides, the insistence that you waste 100% of your time doing theocraptic rubbish was too much. Trying to find the loopholes to these rules was trying enough to get through the boasting sessions (though I never could find any, as the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger always made sure they were absolute).
At least in the world, it's Jehovah himself that prevents any opportunities and not some Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger that insists on absolute rules. And, as Jehovah himself puts himself in my way all the time, it is grounds for me to start worshiping his adversary Satan. There, there are no such absolute rules.
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wha happened?
I would blame my bad back on having to get up and walk around. The last DA I attended, I left the assembly and hung out at a bar down the street. I couldn't sit in that assembly anymore
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Jim_TX
At meetings: This was difficult as a little kiddo. It's difficult to sit still for 2 hours. Of course, back when I was a kid, I seem to remember that there was a 15 minute break in between the public talk and watchtower meeting. This gave me a chance to go outside and see what was going on out there. It usually turned into a game of tag with other kids. We were then summoned back inside for the opening song of the watchtower study.
When I got older, I had an interest in electronics, and gravitated towards the sound part of the kingdom hall. I don't think I was appointed, I just started hanging out at the back, learning how to control the volume of the microphones.It could get real challenging on the nights when the women would talk, and had very soft voices. Turning up the volume sometimes only went into feedback (...weeeeeeeeee...) and frowny looks from those elders who had no sense of humor. I think eventually I was 'appointed' to handle the sound when I got good at it. Actually, I don't think many knew enough about it to do more than twist knobs hoping to get it to work.
I got so that I would bring in new gadgets and hook into the system to see what would happen if... like the time I purchased an amplifier at goodwill. That introduced all sorts of interesting amplified sounds.
At assemblies: I tried to get there early enough to hang out back stage at the sound section. Even as a young teen, I almost idolized those brothers who got to handle the microphones and adjust the sound. They really had control over what went out to the audience. If they turned the knobs to zero, nothing was heard. Power.
Even when I wasn't welcomed, I would just melt into the curtains, and become invisible, still hoping for someone to wave me over and allow me to help out.
I learned that if I wore a nice suit, eventually, I was allowed to go and adjust the microphone for the speaker. I fumbled that one time when they utilized a new type of microphone stand that you just squeezed and turned the black adjustment ring. I turned red as a beet, and just made some sort of wiggle to the microphone, making it look like I had adjusted it, and hastily left. I later practiced and learned how this new device worked.
Listening to the meetings was not the most exciting part of any assembly, but I did try to follow along at times. Knowing when to clap helped.
Being in 'sound' allowed me to wander around a lot. I eventually bought a holster that I could put wire cutters and a pocket knife into, and along with a roll of black electrical tape, I looked very important. I could also get into any other department, even accounting. "I need to check the sound in here." was all it took.
I would get to know all assembly sites inside and out. I would know how to get from point A to point B in a matter of minutes.
Let's face it. Meetings were boring. If I had to sit and listen, I would invariably start to nod off.
When I got old enough, I remember spending one assembly sitting next to a lovely young gal named Rhonda , but she wasn't really interested in me. <sigh>
A couple of years after I got married, I pretty much qiut going to meetings and assemblies.
Regards,
Jim TX
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NewChapter
I was a true believer and still couldn't stand the meetings. I did all the usuals---daydreaming, bathroom, developing anxiety so I needed to sit in the library or kitchenette----but there was one really weird thing that used to happen---particularly at the all day events. . .
I don't know if my brain was traumatized by the enforced boredom or repitition, but I used to close my eyes and IMMEDIATELY begin dreaming. I wouldn't even be completely asleep, and if I opened my eyes, the dream kind of continued, and if I closed my eyes I was right back to it. It was a very odd sensation, and maybe it was like some kind of psychotic break---LOL. So I would spend hours of the convention or assembly is a half-dream state.
Very strange.
NC
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Mary
I did a thread on 'How to Keep Awake at the Assemblies' years ago, but maybe it's time to do it again for all the Newbies on here, so here goes:
Going to the assembly this year? Ready to fall asleep before the opening song is even done? Wonder how you'll ever make it to 5 o'clock without losing it? Well fear no more! Below are several tips you can put into practice to get you through the day from the moment you park your car in the rattiest part of town till you scurry back to your hotel room that you did not book through the Borg.
1. The first order of the day is getting some strong COFFEE - and I don't mean that watery crap from McDonalds; I mean the Dark Roast Columbia beans from Starbucks - chew the beans along with an aspirin and some ephedrine for that extra "buzz" that you'll need fighting the happiest people on earth for a seat. This is also called The Stack and will help you lose weight while you sit on your ass for the next 3 days wondering what ever posessed your parents to join such a screwed up religion........
2. Finding it hard to get good seats for you and your family? Tired of climbing all those stairs up to the nosebleed section, knowing that one wrong move will see you crashing down 4 flights of stairs? Well fear no more! You can avoid this situation a couple of ways:
a) You can "volunteer" for being an "attendent" if you're a male, which means that you get into the auditorium earlier than everyone else. Don't let them fool you with that crap 'no one can save seats till the doors are open.' Believe me, all the attendents get seats before the herd. Once you have your pick of the seats simply fold your volunteer badge up and put it in the contribution box on your way out for some more coffee beans.
b) Look the auditorium over carefully and then choose the seats you want. Don't worry if there's already bibles and songbooks on the seats; simply gather them up and take them to the Lost and Found section. Check out the coolers stashed under the seat to see if there's anything worth eating. Take one bite out of all the sandwiches and then put them back exactly how you found them. When the assembly starts and the family shows up and accuses you of taking their seats, look at them in total shock and announce loudly that Freddie Franz was your uncle and that if they don't leave you alone, you'll have them all disfellowshipped by the next Theocratic Misery School. When someone goes to get security, whisper that they can have the seats back for $50.00 each, promising to put it in the contribution box. If they refuse, tell security that you saw one of these people in the library last week reading Crisis of Conscious. After security escorts them out, enjoy the rest of their sandwiches and pop.3. If there are people sitting in the seats in front of you (denying you the right to put your feet up on the seats), make lots of noise, such as chopping loudly on chips, crackers or even better: Crunch a Munch.........smack your lips noisely while opening cans of coke. Slurp some out and then top it up with either rum or scotch. When the those in front of you turn around to give you the evil eye and tell you to knock it off, grin at them at say: "No oblo English!" Keep this up until they leave in disgust. The minute they do, put their seats up for sale.
4. Tired of looking up all those scriptures telling you that you're not doing enough in God's Organization? The answer is simple: bring a novel to read, placing it inside your bible. Try one of the early Harry Potter books or a book on Elvis sightings as they'll fit snugly into the bible. Everyone around you will be impressed that your eyes never leave the bible and how totally immersed you are spiritual things.
5. The afternoon sessions arrive and you're bored out of your mind. You keep hoping the drama will hold your interest, but it's even worse than last years. Bring a straw to your seat along with some frozen peas. You'll have to be sitting close enough to the stage for this one, but start shooting peas through the straws at all the actors in the drama. Watch them lose their cool as they try to continue on as though nothing's happened. Repeat this once they're thru and the main speaker is back on stage telling you what a fine example you just saw! Wait for everyone to start clapping and then aim for the head. If he's wearing glasses, he'll wonder what the hell's going on and will probably lose his train of thought and start repeating himself. Start laughing out loud the minute he does. If caught, you will be disfellowshipped on the spot but take comfort in knowing that you made 20,000 people laugh their asses off. If you have any frozen peas left over, save them for #7.
6. If there's any small kids sitting in front of you, (99.9% chance of this) start making faces at them till they start laughing. Their mothers will probably give them a smack and drag them to the bathroom for another one, but don't worry, they probably wanted to get up anyway. Whisper to your kid that if they start to cry, you'll take them out for an icecream cone. March them out of there in righteous anger when they start crying and then head for the nearest Baskin Robbins.
7. You'll need a friend to assist you with this one: Using the straw and frozen peas used in Suggestion #5, start smiling and winking at all the attendents "guarding" the speaker (this will only work for women). Hike up your skirt and cross your legs like Sharon Stone did in Basic Instinct. While all the guards are drooling over your legs, your friend is free to shoot all the peas they want at the speaker. As the male guards have been totally distracted by your friend, your chances of getting disfellowshipped will be greatly reduced. For those that feel particularly daring, you could fly a large paper airplane with the JWD web's site written on it, on to the stage. If anyone looks at you, point discreetly at the person sitting next to you and roll your eyes in disgust. Try not to giggle when a Judicial Committee comes and drags them away "for a little chat".
8. For the concluding song, start singing really loud, really off-key and one word ahead of everyone else. This throws everyone around you off, especially if you are singing "Be Glad You Nations". If anyone gives you a dirty look, wink at them and wave as though you were long-lost friends.
9. During the concluding song discreetly make your way to the hallway and wait for the prayer to begin, knowing it'll go on forever. Right in the middle of it, pull the fire alarm and watch the Christ-like attitude of thousands evaporate before your very eyes. Make sure you're out of the way or you WILL be trampled to death. -
clearpoison
It was the time to really read the magazines.
CP
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Sofi
last meeting i atttended, i went to "change"my daughter's diaper and stayed almost the whole second hour in the basement. i couldn't stand anymore hearing the overseer and his grandiosity complex. everything just sounded like a bunch of crap. seriously. taking about the "slave" and feeling so full of himself as if he was the 'slave's" voice taking and how privilegded we were to be hearing all his bs. feels sad to see how brainwashed everybody seems to be (although i saw a lot of sleepy and daydreaming faces)