has anyone lied to the two elders (page 2)

Ding

Why do you have to meet with them at all?

It's your home isn't it?

Try telling them that you appreciate their concern but you're not interested in meeting with them now and that if you change your mind at any point you'll be happy to contact them. Smile politely as you say it.

If they ask you why you don't want to meet with them, remember that you don't have to answer their questions.

Just smile politely and repeat your statement that you appreciate their concern but you're not interested in meeting with them now and that if you change your mind at any point you will be happy to contact them.

If they ask if you have something to hide, smile politely and tell them that you appreciate their concern but... (see above).

Keep up the broken record as long as it takes for them to realize that you're sticking by what you said.

notjustyet

You mean at the same time?

Just usually one at a time, like "I really enjoyed your talk"

When I was a kid I told a Elder that I enjoyed his talk and he asked " Really, what was it about?" I had that blank look on my face like, I don't remember.

But the later I thought "That was his job to make me remember, right?"

troubled mind

When they began asking questions that I knew if answered could be considered "not following Jehovah's Witness Beliefs" , I just told them I would not answer personal questions about my life . Then I repeated my personal life was none of their business since I no longer attended the hall . (I had not been to a meeting in over four yrs ) Which is true ,they are not suppose to purposely go after someone no longer associating with the congregation . Try their tricks on them by answering questions with a question and never give a straight answer !

You will need to repeat the same words over and over to them before they are able to grasp the concept that you no longer answer to them . The only power they possess is what we bestow upon them .

ziddina

Hi, Wasted, WELCOME to the board!!

I think that the term you are looking for, is "fade"...

Here are a few threads - discussions - on how to "fade" successfully - that is, stop attending meetings and going out in field service, without being disfellowshipped or disassociating oneself.

I hope that these threads contain information that you will find helpful...

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/34518/1/On-The-Art-Of-Fading

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/184302/1/How-Can-an-Elder-Fade-Successfully

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/141857/1/What-kinds-of-fading-techniques-have-you-used

jamiebowers

as ive got cobe and my daughters fil coming round nxt wk to grill me,

I do have to avoid that as we have grand children and the sil says he will treat me as d/f.

I would definitely use this situation. You could say something like, "My son in law has threatened my relationshp with my grandchildren while having no idea what I'm feeling or thinking. I'm sorry, COBOE and father in law to my daughter, but that kind of treatment has me so discouraged that I just can't bring myself to talk to anyone."

Edited to add: "I've been STUMBLED!"

ziddina

Gee....

Only two posts... 14 hours ago....

I wonder if "Wasted" is coming back...

Anyway, Wasted, if you're still reading this, here are a few threads - discussions - on how to successfully avoid being disfellowshipped or forcibly disassociated during those "shepherding calls" that elders are wont to indulge in...

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/124537/1/Calling-all-elders-and-former-elders-need-advice

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/26315/1/Ever-straight-out-lied-to-the-elders-faces

wasted

Thanks for the welcomes and replies... without givng too much away.I could easily be i/d, I've read the advice and many thanks I feel the "I'm depressed" route may be the best one for me.I was asked the ? on the f and d slave some months ago to which i replied I thought it was a faithful and confused slave... but it seemed to go over his head as there was no follow up.I'm hoping that the dogs will be called off quickly as my wife is still going to meetings and i don't need the increased confrontations.

ziddina

DEFINITELY check out the threads on the subject of a successful 'fade', then...

The "depression" card is a very good one to play. So many active and "believing" JWs ARE depressed; so saying that you're "depressed" makes you appear to blend in with the rest of the "flock"...

Best results to you!!

Zid - the board's She-Devil...

wasted

Thank-you Zid I've read expatbrits route out and found it very helpful.I guess if they really want to help (the elders that is) it becomes more difficult. the cobe is a long time friend and although the fil of my daughter is not very experienced, being recently appointed, I know he'll see me as a challenge.I used to be on the elder team 25yrs ago but i hated it and "stepped down" as they say. In truth I began my fade then but due to family concerns it has taken far to long to be healthy.My wife is at the meeting now. So i expect they'll be getting prepped on my current state of mind Oh well let the show begin.I'll keep you informed.

ThomasCovenant

No. I told them respectfully that after researching the society's own literature and history I no longer believe the Governing body are who they say they are. Nothing happened.

Personally I think they won't believe you anyway if you lie to them otherwise why aren't you at the meetings?

By telling them the truth I feel I have kept my self respect and they will respect me for being honest.

has anyone lied to the two elders

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