Happy Memorial everyone!!!!!!!!

by Mr. Falcon 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    Just think 2,000 years ago Jesus stood on a plank above the Sarlacc Pit. Then he spun around and jumped back up onto the skiff where Peter threw him his lightsaber from Pilate's sail barge. After slaughtering the guards he and the apostles sped away, but not before they turned the main deck gun down at Pilate's barge. Far out man. Far f*cking out.

    "Pilate, this is your last chance to free us, or die."

    "Yeah okay, Jesus. Throw him in!"

    "...John here, in position."

    "Peter here. I'm all set...."

    "Now!"

    "I rebuke thee!"

    "Not this time, Pilate!"

    "Keep doing this in rememberance of me."

    this is EXACTLY how I remember it happening.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Me, too! Oh, me too! I remember this as if it was yesterday.

  • unshackled
    unshackled

    Haha, well done Senor Falcon. Poor Judas here...flying off in the background. He deserved a better fate than the Sarlacc Pit.

    And Luke, er Jesus, doesn't even make contact with that guard. If it was the Force, why even kick? That Jesus, so showy.

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    unshackled - We need to turn to the scriptures for New Light on this.....

    "Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies under your feet."'

  • undercover
    undercover

    Heresy! Sacrilege! How dare you!?

    Making light of such a storied and historic event as this? Making light of it by comparing it to some fantasy story full of plot holes and unbelievable characters?

    I mean, seriously....

    What would George Lucas say if he knew you were paradying his Holy Writ?

  • unshackled
    unshackled

    And after Jesus smited the mighty Pilate, he got Leia'd. And he proclaimed "her hairy chewbaca was good!" Years later, he found out she was his sister and cancelled the Memorial. Amen.

  • jworld
    jworld

    happy festus rejectus! The night where 7 million JW's will turn their nose up to Jesus. Poor Jesus, they went from worshipping him to full on rejection.

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Pilate had a sweet barge. What a waste. And yeah, what about poor Judas? What an unceremonious ending, especially if you believe that he might have been an inside man, according to the gospel bearing his name. Seriously, though...who cares if you're getting digested over a thousand years? You'll die sometime before that, right?

    And Leia in that getup. I sense a disturbance in my pants.

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    There's so much adulterated goodness in this thread.

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    i heard they pinned the whole thing on Judas, who was gonna kill himself anyway.

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