Memorial is more important than dying relative!

Orphan Annie

My husband is gravely ill sedated and on a ventilator. He most likely isn't going to survive. We are not disfellowshipped. We just walked away 20 or so years ago. Some relatives will speak to us causiously and some are strict no contact. We live in another state than the relatives. Some of them flew/drove in to see him before he dies. Why now after all these years. They suddenly had to leave Wednesday for so called doctor appointments etc. They were nervous and anxious over just having to leave Wednesday. I couldn't figure out why. I said can't you cancel? Well, no if we do we will get charged for a cancellation blah blah blah. Then it dawned on me, Memorial is sometime soon. Didn't pay any attention to when it was because I don't care. Sure enough, yesterday I got a call to see how he was on their way to the Memorial. Couldn't they go to a Memorial in our state if they absolutely had to go? But, nooooooo, they had to go to their own local hall. They never mentioned the Memorial at all when they were here. The excuse they had to leave was so called doctor appointments. More than one had these mysterious doctor appointments. I had to tell everyone about these selfish, lying, sneaky people. Thanks for listening. My husband is dying and I am feeling so awful. I want to throw up and faint at the same time. This is so hard.

Pams girl

I am SO SO sorry to hear about your husband. What a dreadful heartbreaking situation you are in, I feel for you so much. The last memorial I atteneded was in 2009, my mother was in intensive care, dying from scepticeamia. I only lasted an hour, as I got a call to go to the hospital. I should explain that it took everything I had in myself to actually attend the memorial as I suffer with agoraphobia and severe panic attacks.

She died the next day. I was informally reprimanded for only staying an hour the following week. Suddenly all the loving brothers and sisters dissapeared, I was considered spiritually weak. I HATE it that they robbed me of those moments with my mother. I opened my eyes, and left soon afterwards. They weren't good enough for ME I decided. They are indeed very very selfish people. They put themselves first. How heartless and cruel. They could have gone to a local hall certainly, in any case.

Be with your husband. Talk to him, tell him you love him and you are there. Put these awful people to the back of your mind, they dont DESERVE you even thinking about them at this time. YOU deserve BETTER. The people who really care about you will always be around for you, so surround yourself with real friends who love you unconditionally, and rely on them for support. Let them continue to play these mind games of imaginary appointments, and give you their pathetic lame excuses for not being around. They may be relatives but they are not your friends.

Be kind to yourself now. Be with your husband. He is what matters right now, nothing else, especially not them. They are not worthy of you darling lady. Sending you virtual hugs across the wide open seas.....my thoughts are with you.

Love, Paula......Pams girl x

ruderedhead

I am so sorry for your pain, Annie. What they did was selfish and a bit heartless, imho. But I am sure they are feeling good about themselves right now. It's the WT mindset.Quite warped. They certainly could have gone to a Memorial by you. I can only give you a cyber hug(((Annie))), hope it is some comfort. I hope you can find strength during this very difficult time. I will keep you & your husband in my prayers.

usualusername

Annie

I am sorry.

nugget

You presence means more to him at this time than a room full of people so disconnected from their compassion that they can only think of themselves. This is a precious time where you can express what he means to you so he knows how much love he carries with him. Make such that you do not leave important things unsaid and forget everyone else. He has what he needs in you.

That being said you need support. Is there anyone you can call to give you some assistance, to make sure you get a meal and a chance to wash and change? This is a stressful time and you need to know that there is someone there for you holding your hand and keeping you safe.

We are here if only virtually. I know the pain of the vigil for those seriously I'll and feel for you.

Memorial is more important than dying relative!

Orphan Annie

Pams girl

ruderedhead

usualusername

nugget

thetrueone

Broken Promises

finally awake

umadevi

jamiebowers

Share this