by mikepence 12 Replies latest jw friends
What was it like growing up as a child, being a JW? Did you fear Armageddon with every thunder storm? Agonize over the imminent death of all of your worldly playmates? Suffer horrendous abuse, and then neglect by the elders?
Post some of your childhood JW experiences here. I will be using them as the basis for an article to be published online, on Kuro5hin.org.
Thanks for sharing.
Mike Pence
Mike Pence
Listening to: Kasey Chambers, "Barricades and Brickwalls"
Reading: Susan Sontag, "In America"
My most agonizing experience being raised a JW was in relation to sexual abuse. This was in the 70's. My mother had told me the importance of never allowing a man to touch me that way. It was impressed upon my young mind that if I allowed it to happen, Jehovah would destroy me. Mother said it was better to allow someone to "point a gun to my head and shoot" than to allow a sexual act to happen. I was seven when I was abused sexually by my uncle, also a witness. I remember the next morning trying to find a gun so that I could shoot myself - as I knew that is what Jehovah wanted. Not to mention all the beatings my brother and I suffered too.
"Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!" - Negro spiritual
Very short, basically I had zero friends. An outcast at school. Stood up by my 3rd grade teacher, who told the class I would not celebrate holidays, b-days, etc. The kids made my life a living hell - and not standing for the pledge made it worse (yes we still did the pledge back then, and holidays DOMINATED school activities). All the while I feared the dark, as I saw demons behind every corner (from a mother who had tons of demon experences to tell). I had a couple of close JW friends, but those faded as I got into teenage years. Once older, delved into the JW world trying to 'become' someone, one of the popular ones. That was not to happen as I think you basically must be born into the 'click' as it were. Baptised at 11, pioneered from 14 on, temped at Bethel, was that an eye-opener - even though I was LOW man on the totom pole - the bethel fellow REALLY torment the 'temps'. Such 'love' is shown in 'god's house'. They even had a 2 hour lecture on how they did NOT care to hear about any ideas we might have, as they already know everything and don't want to change. They don't care if another way is better/more efficient.
Saw cracks around the edges of the org from childhood - lot's of hypocritical elders and things done to the family over the years. Always to 'wait on Jah' of course.
My biggest nightmare - one I had over and over as a very young child - was demons in the house, etc, and calling out "jehovah jehovah jehovah" over and over, and he NEVER once answered - the demons continued unchecked. Woke up terrified on many an occasion after that dream!
Mike before given any part of my story I would want more info about where and how this info is to be complied and published on-line. I s this something you will be making money with? Or is it simply another informational website. Will you be asking for releases for peoples stories?
Too many people here have been used and abused and you are asking for them to trust you with thier stories. I don't know you. I hope maybe some of the others do.
More info please
Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002
What childhood.
Mine was pre-empted for 5 meetings a week plus field service...oh, and being molested since the age of 5 by 2 elders.
I am living my childhood now, just catching up.
Yes I,Yes I
Hey mikepence,
check out the threads I started. there's not many but, they're mostly about my childhood experieces. that would be easier than retyping them on this thread
Thanks,
SoulJah
One day we'll all be together,until then I'm ready for whatever
---Tupac Shakur
The story will be published on Kuro5hin, hopefully. K5 is a user-moderated story site. Go to Kuro5hin.org to find out more.
No, I don't make money off of it. But, I do believe that writing and exposing the child abuse that is growing up a JW is the most powerful weapon we have.
Hopefully, I can do the topic some justice, as others have before. I will ask permission via email from those whose stories I use.
Mike
[email protected] <-- if you need to know more.
Mike Pence
Listening to: Kasey Chambers, "Barricades and Brickwalls"
Reading: Susan Sontag, "In America"
OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW!!! Thunder Storms are the worst. I freak and always think, I shoulda changed, I shoulda changed.
Oh, but S-11 was the worst. I was absolutely sure it was the beginning of armaggedon. HOW CONDITIONED AM I??????????????
I've got lots of luv to give, but no one wants it! - Mona.
Mikepence
There are so many issues...but the feeling of being different was the worst experience as a child growing up in the borg. Not allowed to sing the national anthem...or salute the flag...or sing xmas carols, happy birthday or 'for he's a jolly good fellow'....I wasn't allowed to go to discos..parties...or wear the latest 'fad' fashions or hair cuts.
When I first left the borg...I wanted to indulge in the things that always fascinated me as a kid...the forbidden things...but I remember feeling guilty the first time I wrote out xmas cards...but deep inside I was ecstatic to have the opportunity to do it. The first xmas I only observed...as I was new to the whole thing and didn't know how I should react. By the third xmas I had overcome my guilt...it was the xmas just gone....and I bought our first xmas tree and decorations...and we had our first family xmas with presents and jingle bells music and all the festivities. I'll never forget it.
Also, my kids had their first birthday last year...on their birthdays they got presents and surprises and cakes with candles....the works. I will never forget how I felt seeing my kids enjoy something that I was denied as a child...and for the first time I am able to repay them for what I took from them all those years they were raised in the borg.
Beck
Interesting question, the one thing that stuck with me and still does is the supposed healty fear of displeasing the almighty one,thus we would try to be "good" or in other words be miserable, not allowed to play with the worldy kids, and even not allowed to associate with the supposed good ones life was like a prison,and they then wonder why when you are set free from it you go wild, well after 32 years of being part of it i finally had my first xmas dinner, birthday, and all the other pagan celebrations, and you know what, god didnt strike me down with lightening, and i actually had fun, guilt free, but i will say this growing up as a child in it does screw your mind, it is so much harder to life a " worldy life" after being brought up in the prison we did.
