How to properly call someone out for lying.

by lisavegas420 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  out4good3

  I was not home at all last week. Only my husband was here. When we finally met up together this weekend, I turned on a burner on the stove. It started smoking because somthing had been spelt down in the stove and had not been cleaned out.
  
  I accused him of making the mess and not cleaning it. He said he did not make a mess on the stove. And he said the last time the kitchen was cleaned, he did it.

  What he though............

  she's been out all week and only now comes home to rag my ass about a little smoke coming from the stovetop. WTF is her problem.

  I pointed out, that He was the only one here, it was either him or someone was coming into our home all ninja like and making the messes and leaving them.
  He said, "yea I guess."

  What he thought.........

  Oh now she's trying to be a smartass or trying to imply that I had someone else in the house as she knows I was the only one here. It's just a little smoke coming from a burner why didn't she just turn on the exhaust fan. but, noooo,,,,,,she just wants to ride my ass because of something not being done to her satisfaction. What the hell is her problem anyway.? Is this day 30?

  I demanded he admit that he was the only one that could have possibly made the uncleaned mess and he refused and said he "did not appreciate me accusing him of lying"

  What he thought........

  Oh...now I'm a dog to be led around by the nose. I might've given in and admitted that I might have wasted something on the stove, but now, I think I might just dig in and deny...deny....DENY. And if she doesn't like it, she'd better just get over it.
• 

  lisavegas420

  Ok..Ok..I'm over myself now.
  
  We do have a great marriage. We've been together 20years.
  
  But the forgetting stuff is getting really bad.

  He forgot me at the beauty parlor last week too. I called the house phone and his cell phone then decided to just walk home. When I got home I asked him, what does 4:00 or Before mean to you? I waited and waited and called and called. He said he was sorry. He got busy.

  whatever
• 

  undercover

  He forgot me at the beauty parlor last week too.

  Don't wanna be an alarmist, but if he's forgetting things like food cooking on the stove, forgetting to pick you up, etc. You may want to try to get him to a doctor.

  Of course, he could be passive agressive. Intentionally driving you nuts to get back at what he percieves as an affront to him, like being fussed at for a messy stove.

  Or - it could be something worse. And he's embarrassed that something might be wrong and he's trying to cover.

  It's just a thought. Keep a journal of how he does remembering and forgetting. See if there's a pattern.
• 

  ohiocowboy

  Hi Lisa! How have you been?

  I remember when you got your hand burned pretty badly when your Husband forgot about the french Fries he was making a few years ago. I'm sorry that he seems to be forgetting things, especially when it has to do with the stove. A while back Dave was on some meds that he had a bad reaction to, and he would turn on the stove and do other unusual things without even realizing it. It got scary, because of how easy it would be for a fire to start. Fortunately, once his meds changed, he stopped doing it, otherwise I would have to take the knobs off of the stove. The funny thing is, he NEVER cooks, and I was surprised that he even knew how to turn on the stove in the first place-lol

  Has he been to the Doctor to see what has been causing his forgetfulness? I hope that it is nothing serious, and that he is Okay.

  20 Years! Good for you both! Dave and I will be celebrating our 10th on this Thursday the 12th. Isn't it nice to be in good, loving, and lasting relationships! If we ever get back to the area again, I hope we can do dinner or go somewhere with you both.

  Apart from the Kitchen Kalamities, I hope you both are doing well!

  All the best to you and your Honey!
• 

  TD

  Could the truth lie somehwere in the middle? Maybe he did use the stove and did make a mess, but truly, honestly believes he didn't because he was concentrating on something else and just didn't realize when the spill happended?

  It's way easier to do than it sounds.
• 

  talesin

  Maybe he should get his blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. checked. Is he one of those people who hates to go to the doctor? The worst kind! But that's how things get treated early, and fixed. :))

  good luck with it!

  tal
• 

  still thinking

  I like the diary idea that someone suggested...keep track of what he is forgetting or doing and try to get him to a doctor. I know we all forget things sometimes. But if you really think this is a problem it needs to be confirmed/diagnosed. Otherwise you will think you are going nuts. And he may not realise what your problem is... Is he open to seeing a doctor?
• 

  lisavegas420

  *waves to handsome Ohiocowboy. Give Dave a hug from us both. You both are welcome here anytime you are in this area or just traveling though. Dinner would be wonderful.

  I did have him go in for an MRI when he kept complaining of headaches and would get nose bleeds. But they saw nothing. Well nothing unusual.

  I was thinking about doing some research on herbs that help with memory and focus. He takes the Vitamins I get for us, so I don't think he'd have a problem taking them.
  
  I feel safest/most secure when I know he is at work. He been wanting to retire for awhile, I've talked him into waiting 2 years or until he figures out what he will be doing with his days.
  
  OH...and I got the burner all clean. It's almost like it never happened. almost.
• 

  cyberjesus

  Geeaz by the way you talk to him.. i would be afraid of speaking to you too. You husband needs help.... but I dont think is with lying
• 

  TOTH

  drop it...Then set up a hidden nanny cam pointing at the stove and turn it on when you leave.