Sorry for the lame jokes to come guys, but I just saw this commercial, and thought "Well THAT would keep them off my porch". I suppose we will always filter the world through our JW experience to some degree.
Some Ways to Keep Them Away From Your Door
by NewChapter 12 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
LouBelle
A guy at work who never was a JW. He wanted an efficient way to keep them away. Told him to them he was disfellowshipped.
It worked.
-
NewChapter
LOL! That would certainly work. Maybe a sign JW APOSTATE RESIDES HERE, would work better than the No Trespassing signs.
-
moshe
If JWs only knew who was waiting for them at the next door--, they would just go home--
-
Fernando
Hey LouBelle!
If this catches on every house could become DNC or DF - that'd be a real problem for the GB, but the R&F might appreciate going for a walk around the block.
-
-
WTWizard
The surest way to keep those witlesses from your door, forever, is to invite them into a dedication ritual to Satan. Have prayers written on paper renouncing Jehovah/Allah, Christ, and his holy spirit and dedicating your soul to Father Satan. One copy each per witless, plus your own. Light a black candle (if you can't find black because Christians put pressure on stores to make them unavailable, use blue or red). Have a needle or lancet (or several--if you reuse them, sterilize them with rubbing alcohol and heat from the candle flame between each use. Now, invite them to dedicate their souls to Satan. It helps to have a Ouija board and/or Tarot cards in plain sight while doing this.
Be warned, that if you are fading, you WILL get disfellowshipped for doing this. I believe that open worship to Satan is the surest way in that religion, if you are caught, to get disfellowshipped. And you will probably not get reinstated, since a dedication to Satan is permanent, and you are deliberately renouncing the holy spirit. Also, do not attempt this if you are not 100% sure that you never wish to be Christian again, since a real dedication to Satan means you have renounced Jehovah, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit forever.
Which might not be such a bad idea, if you are prepared. Once you know what a scam Christi-SCAM-ity is, and what a spiritual killer it is, and that the LIE-ble is full of stolen and corrupted material, it will not take long to realize that it is worthless and what you are renouncing is rubbish.
-
Pams girl
Hahahaha, that door knocker is awesome, where the hell can I get one!!! Im laughing so much I think I just did a lil pee pee....excuse me......
-
NewChapter
Some lovely black candles in stock here.
http://www.quickcandles.com/Black-Candles-s/5428.htm?Click=2&gclid=CMeEwvWOwa8CFQ0DQAodnVvcwg
-
Dagney
There is a poster on here that for the life of me I can't remember his screen name, that had really funny "apostate" tee shirts etc. He came to a meetup a few years ago and he told me he had a little sign in the window next to the front door that said "JW Apostate Headquarters." lolololol. That would do it.
I thought his items were so clever he could have a mini business in this community.
