Still confused after all these years,,, (page 2)

Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

So sorry to hear of your trouble; are you absolutely sure your in-laws, or wife, are not still secretly indoctrinating your son? They get constant training on how to do this, so I'd still follow what truth_b_known said just to be safe.

Chariklo

I don't think I would be very supportive in them studying with your wife's family. I say that because I have experienced at first hand the persuasiveness of the indoctination process. I've seen children made so much of and "loved" to bits so that little ones glow with pride when they are given a one-word answer to say into the microphone.

I've seen little boys of 5 or 6, dressed up the nines in little men's suits, coached into "givng a talk". It sickens me, this lovely kids who have real education withheld from them, and who are told how much more forunate they are than kids in the world because they don't get given presents polluted by paganism at Christmas, and don't have to suffer the spiritistic practices of having to blow out candles on their birthday cake nor have everyone wishing them Happy Birthday, let alone suffer the indignity of a birthday party.

That kind of study and "love" will cause them huge confusion and inhibitions.

Play the head of the house role for all you're worth, but be aware that while your wife will be told to respect and obey you as head of house, she is also told that this doesn't include anything that goes against Jehovah's wishes, and so she may well secretly indoctrinate your children anyway. And her parents or relatives.

This is a very sinister tight control cult. Don't underestimate it. It causes great damage, and you can read the stories on this site from people who have very low self esteem caused by their JW childhood experience.

Perry

I can't get over how little I really knew about this faith and how I allowed my wife's belief in it to over rule all of my natural instincts to do, I don't know, something. I question what I could have done differently to keep her from getting hooked in like the rest of her family.

Others are correct. God divinely appointed you to be the shepherd of your family. There are many VERY important questions that WTism carefully avoids and does not address. Here's a list of a few. Hope it helps.

Flossycat

I second Black Sheep's motion: get the book from the library 'Teach Your Children How To Think.'

And for you, if you haven't already, get Steven Hassan's book on combatting Cult Mind Control.

dozy

All seems really harsh , but most of us on this forum have been there with JW family. It seems to be in the JW DNA for them to treat like dog dirt anyone who stops going to the meetings.

When you say your in-laws were "studying" , was this a formal sit-down , go through a WTBTS publication study or just an occasional chat , perhaps with the Bible Stories book? I say that because I don't see any real harm in allowing the grandparents to have some kind of interaction with the kids. To be honest , the JW lifestyle is so rubbish that unless a child is completely indoctrinated , immersed & all his friends are in , then invariably they leave - 70% of JW children don't become JWs - even higher in "divided" households like yours where one of the parents is a "worldly person" like you ( no disrespect intended ).

What does you wife think about all this? Does she sympathise with her family or does she feel they are being unreasonable? Most JWs really aren't bothered about doctrine & have very little awareness of their history so your wife isn't unusual in that respect.

nugget

JWs do not have normal relationships they are taught to only have conditional ones. JWs will be interested all the time there is a possibility that someone will convert but have no qualms about dropping someone who will not. This is learnt behaviour from the organisation where many people who have been born into the organisation know nothing different.

I would be very cautious about letting your children get involved in any way. The pressure begins very early as does the isolation from those outside the group so that the only place you can eventually find acceptance is within the organisation. Whilst children have a foot in two camps they do not really belong to either. They are seen as odd by other children because of their religious views and they are not accepted by JW youths as they are still having birthdays etc and don't appear fully committed to the faith. Joining a high pressure group is not a decision a child should make. My mother joined when I was 3 my father was never a witness and yet being allowed to go to meetings led me to get baptised and stay within the organisation for 40 years. Present your children with options and choices never give up on them so that they can have a proper life.

With your wife keep communicating .

Still confused after all these years,,,