Did you ever hear yourself as a JW say something and think, did that just come out of my mouth?

by Wasanelder Once 13 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Wasanelder Once

  I was driving with a long time non-witness friend when a song by Supertramp came on the radio and I changed it. She asked "why did you do that? I like that song." I said "The subject matter isn't something that ..." and she finished my sentence "...Jehovah likes, right?"

  I realized then that I was a turd and a self-righteous ass. I said, "right".

  
  Did you ever really hear your self when you said stuff like that and then take a step back?

  Pay attention newbies, your brain is trying to call you out when that happens. Out of the WT.
  
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  OneEyedJoe

  Happened all the time, though to be fair that's partially due to my social ineptitude, since it also happens when I greet someone as we pass in the hall at work.  

  The best example of this happening in a jw setting, though, was after a surgery.  When people asked how I was, I would say "I'm OK, but it'll sure be nice when I get to the new system and have someone who knows what they're doing working on me."  This, despite the fact that the surgeon did an amazing job.... Even as I was saying it, I knew I was only saying it because that's what was expected.
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  Scully

  This one sticks out in my mind the most: The Brother™ who was Studying™ with my folks had a shop in town and the family went there. Other customers were in the shop. I walked up to the shop owner and very loudly said "What's up, Brother™?" having never been informed that it was inappropriate to address him that way in public, let alone at his place of business.

  Well, I really got informed on the way home, followed by a spanking once we got home, for "embarrassing everyone".

  I wondered to myself why anyone who knew The Truth™ would be "embarrassed" by being called Brother™ or Sister™, since that was how we were instructed to address adults at the Meetings™.

  I was maybe 6 or 7 years old at the time. 

   
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  Cold Steel

  You got a spanking? Even though you were never informed (previously) that it was inappropriate??

  At what point do they stone you? By the way, did that "brother" ever get baptized?

  
  

  
  
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  Scully

  Cold Steel:

   did that "brother" ever get baptized? 

  Actually, the Brother™ was the one Conducting™ the Study™ with my parents. I was new to the jargon and thought I would impress him with how I had been paying attention.
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  Vidiot

  Scully - "Well, I really got informed on the way home, followed by a spanking once we got home, for 'embarrassing everyone'. "

  Very telling, in and of itself.

  Reinforces my opinion that a significant number of JWs - even though they may be dutiful and loyal - are still embarrassed on some level to be JWs, even if they aren't even fully aware of it.
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  maninthemiddle

  Yes, but one stands out, probably my awakening moment.

  I often shared conversations about religion especially the differences with a Mormon coworker.

  He asked me about birthdays, and after I gave him the "company line" on why birthdays were bad, it immediately hit me like a ton of bricks, just how stupid that argument was.

  The more I tried to argue, the worse I sounded to myself. That was the moment i let myself research other opinions.

  
  
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  Vidiot

  maninthemiddle - "The more I tried to argue, the worse I sounded to myself."

  Well, then you must have been doing it wrong; WT reasoning is foolproof, after all. :)

  Seriously, though; the same thing happened with me and evolution.
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  maninthemiddle

  Vidiot, funny you say that because I stayed away from evolution. I felt that the reasoning used by the society was not right, even though I didn't know about the misquoting. I didn't fell that I knew enough.

  I would say that in my later active years, I even may have believed in the catholic god guided type of evolution. The science made too much sense.
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  exwhyzee

  I used to feel that way every time I was asked to pray out loud for a group, especially if asked to pray out loud before eating. Everything one says is pure rote and simply mimicking what everyone else has said a thousand times before. It felt so fake and unnatural. I never understood where the idea of praying before every meal came from. To thank Jehovah for providing our food is to say he is also responsible for the starving people not having any. Toward the end of my JW career, I began turning down requests to pray out loud. I remember sitting at a table full of people when it came time to say the obligatory prayer. I had my head bowed hoping they wouldn't ask me. Of course someone said "exwhyzee, would you like to say the blessing?" I simply said "no thank you" and kept my head bowed. It was awkward but it worked.