I never thought I would

by Kool Jo 22 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Reopened Mind

  They want you to feel guilty about not doing their brand of ministry. I agree with OnTheWayOut. Your ministry is personal. The WT has been lying to you and lying to the public, calling it "Theocratic Warfare". You are beating them at their own game.

  The most effective tools a cult has are FEAR AND GUILT. Make no mistake, the WT is a cult. So come here and vent. It will help you lessen the fear and guilt the WT has been laying on you.

  Posting here is a form of ministry. My dictionary says that minister is to give aid or service. You are aiding and serving others by sharing your story.

  Reopened Mind
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  vexxed

  [quote] I honestly think if they were to remove the shunning policy, there would be a mass exodus (which is exactly why they can't remove that vileness). I think there are way more than we think, just going thru the motions. [/quote]

  So true!
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  Lozhasleft

  Like Mr Flipper said we're all here for you. Do what it takes to set yourself free.

  Loz x
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  thecrushed

  I know exactly how you feel KoolJo. What bothers me more than fibbing on my FS time is actually going out peddling something that I know is not true and is damaging in the end. I cannot do it and I will not do it no matter what the consequences for fear that someone might actually be interested.
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  Morbidzbaby

  As Flipper said, you need to fade the best way you know how to for your circumstances. I slowly decreased my time by only going out with certain people (a friend who would invite me, whatever) or by going on a study with my mom once or twice a month. I also got very "busy" with work (I did work 2 jobs temporarily...that was part of the fade). So I could be honest with how many hours I spent...and I always made sure I said I placed NOTHING. The reason for this (beside the fact that it was true lol) is that they can't count what you don't place. Why give them the numbers? Eventually, I just stopped going on the studies altogether and just made myself unavailable for service when invited "Oh, Saturday?? Sorry, I'm working! Maybe Sister Over-Zealous can go...".

  I only started getting hounded when I wasn't turning in a slip. That's when they start to bother you. "Hello, Kool Jo, this is Brother Brown Nose. I was calling to see if I could get your Field Circus time for the month of July...Oh you didn't get any? There had to have been ONE HOUR the whole month that you spoke to SOMEONE about Jehovah...". When this was posed to me, I said "I suppose...I mean, I don't want to say there definitely was if there wasn't. I didn't keep track. I don't want to LIE on my Field Circus report...Do what you think is best". The following month, I claimed I was so busy I just couldn't get out and that we aren't allowed to talk religion at work...and I don't associate with them outside of work because they're "bad association". After that I just stopped answering the phone. They came around a few times when I wasn't home (my father alerted me), they planned on coming around a few times (my father alerted me so I could be out lol), and there was a time or two they actually caught me and I simply told them I was busy. When they tried to pin me down for a Shepherding Call, I told them I didn't know what my schedule would be like, that I was working two jobs, and that when I wasn't working I was either sleeping or running errands. I'm just too busy.

  Eventually, they quit trying. And it's been peaceful bliss ever since.

  I don't know your family situation (if you're married, have children, or whatnot), but the best thing I did was move away from the area and not give a congregation to forward my stuff to. I didn't give my parents my address until after I moved so that if they were asked they could honestly say they didn't know. I haven't been contacted, haven't seen any JW's, and have been free to celebrate holidays and do what I want. That might be a solution if your situation permits it.
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  clearpoison

  I did that false reporting part too for couple of years until I came to a conclusion that the only one I was kidding was myself.

  CP
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  Kool Jo

  Thanks for all your repsonses...today we have the special assembly day in my area....but instead I'm home posting on an apostate website

  There was another poster here who uploaded the SAD (special assembly day) program....so I might just listen to it while ironing so when they talk about it at the meetings I can engage in "spiritual conversation"
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  "I've noticed for a few years now that whenver I see JWs out in FS they walk so slowly that they are almost at a standstill. Is this widespread or is it just a local thing?"

  Widespread. It had to have been pioneers I saw a few months ago. If they would have been walking any slower, they would have been going backward.

  KJ: "I feel bad for filling out time that I knew I never did."

  Don't think of your 'ministry' that way. You can confidently write down time and placements for your 'invisible presence' in the ministry!
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  Heaven

  Hey Kool Jo, if you feel up to it, you could start doing Anti-Witnessing in the Field Serve-Us. Of course, you'd have to do it on your own.

  Just think of it... Ring the doorbell. When they answer, tell them "Hi! I'm one of Jehovah's Witness of the conscious class and I've come to warn you that they are a distructive high control group (cult). I wanted to arm you with some valuable information." Give them a pamplet from this site including some of the helpful website addresses like jwfacts, jwn, and freeminds.

  OR... you could just kick back, have a beer, cut the lawn, talk to the neighours and stop filling out silly reports that mean absolutely nothing.
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  maccauk11

  Be true to yourself and leave. If you do not have the confidance or strength then call upon the name of Jesus he is calling you out to come to him.