Hello...may I post here?

by KistByQpid 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  seedy3

  Hi Qpid:

  I am glad to see you here, and sorry for the losses you have had. I too was raised in the B-org (JW). If you try to talk to her on a sencable level she more then likely will classify it as "persicution" they like words like those. The JW mind set is that they are in a "theocratic War" and all that are not receptive to their beleifs are against them and the Org.

  It is a tough situation to be in, my mother is still in the borg and will never change. I have a son that has decided to go to them, and of course he has no interest in talking to me now.

  Well needless to say, never be confrontational with her. Ask genuine Questions that you have researched, not on doctrine, but on the WTS actions and activities. DO YOUR RESEARCH, do not go in unarmed.

  Well all I can say I hope it helps, sometimes you have to wait and let them be.

  Seedy
• 

  Prisca

  Hello Qpid and welcome
• 

  Sirona

  I would say that you need to lay down some boundaries for your mother. You need to explain to her that you do not want her preaching to your children, since you are their mother and you are responsible for their spirituality (not her). You don't want her confusing them. Explain that when they are older, they can make their own decision, but until then you dont want her preaching to them.

  Also, I would speak to her about respect. Calling your religion the whore of babylon is showing gross disrespect to you and your faith. I would approach it by saying that you respect her faith even though you dont agree with it, so she should respect yours. JWs do have a tendency to expect everyone else to respect them, while they walk around ridiculing those of other faiths.

  Sirona

  ** http://www.religioustolerance.org **
• 

  ashitaka

  Oy, sorry to hear about your troubles, man. I assume your mother is in her 60's?

  Well, for some older people, especially when they lose their spouses, they want something new to cling to, because they are so distraught over their spouses' death. I know how the witnesses prey on people who are depressed, traumatized from a loved one's death, etc. Yet, if you can curb your mother's tirades, perhaps just tell her unequivocally that you want nothing to do with her religion, but that you love her just the same, and whatever makes her happy, you're happy with, too.

  I'm afraid that with new converts, there's really no way to pull them out. You mother's probably reach many of her life's milestones, and now she wants new goals, and that's something that the witnesses give.

  Now, I'm only 22, but I grew up as a witness, so I know what the deal is. I noticed that the older people who were zealous were paraded around the hall as 'examples', and your mother may be one of them. They may laud her ability to preach about the bible.

  What the JWs are about is the very clever stroking of the ego, which in turn controls the person. Your mother may be perfectly happy as a JW. Just don't let your child be exposed to their insidious talk. Remember, she's your mother, not your gatekeeper.

  I would recommend to just find out more about her hall where she meets, but tell her you have no interest in the religion. This way, you can find out what nights she goes to church, and don't let your child sleep-over on those nights...she may bring her and try to subtly indoctrinate her, although the witnesses would deny trying to so to to kids.

  Remember, these people 'love-bomb' all newcomers, but many old people find friends at this church, and end up staying because it's an ok faith for people who don't need to have any moral conviction. This is a religion that thinks for them.

  Anyway, feel free to email me if you need to....it's open.

  And don't start fights with her about it!!!!! The VERY FIRST THING WITNESSES TELL BIBLE STUDIES IS THAT SATAN WILL USE FAMILY TO TRY TO DISSUADE THEM FROM 'STUDYING THE BIBLE' (which is Witness-Speak for becoming a Jehovah's Witness)

  Take it easy buddy.
• 

  sadiejive

  Welcome KistbyQpid!!!

  I'm not a JW either. Fortunately, I found out the truth about the truth before I went to much farther. UN-fortunately, my husband still hasn't figured it out and is still pursuing it...with my kids in tow.

  It is hard watching my kids be carted off to meetings every Sunday, Tues, and Thurs...knowing that their little brains are being fed. You, however, are in a situation where you are in a bit more control. I think Sirona's advice was good.

  And what Ashitaka said about them feeding your mom this persecution stuff...it's all true. I had a bat with my mom about a year ago when I was "trying" to be a witness (unbaptized). She insisted on showing my kids "Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer" (the nerve of her...LOL). I got her on the phone and told her that these were my kids, my responsibility and I wasn't raising them celebrating this pagan holiday. Well, needless to say that didn't go to well. I could not see her side (and honestly, she couldn't see mine either). She saw nothing wrong with Christmas, Rudolph, etc and did not want to even pretend that she agreed with such nonsense by giving in to my (and more so, my husband's) requests that she not mention Santa around my children, or show them Christmas shows, etc. So, I stopped letting my kids go see her. The witnesses were all like feeding me the lines that Ashitaka mentioned above and using that scripture in Luke 12:49-53 and another one (that I can't locate just yet) that mentions those who give up their fam for the cause of Christ and being blessed.

  Educate yourself about your mom's beliefs and how to refute them. But try, if at all possible, to avoid talking about religion altogether. I found a wealth of info at www.freeminds.org. Another good site is carm.org.

  BTW, how old are your kids?

  I wish you the best and welcome to the forum!

  Sadie
• 

  KistByQpid

  Hi Sadie,
  
  Thanks for your suggestions...and everyone else's too for that matter! Do JW's realize how inappropriate their "witnessing" can be? Do they care? I wonder. My mom used to be a really fun, positive and rather "hip" ole gal! I hate to say this, but she has turned into a rather bitter and negative person. In mixed company, she's let loose with some rather socially retarded rants...usually they start out with that zealous preface, "The problem with the WORLD is..." Several months ago, she pulled this in front of a friend of mine she had JUST MET! Later, I apologized to my friend and explained the situation. It is kind of funny/sad that as time goes on, she includes more and more of her new found vocabulary. At first she used words like: the hall, brother/sister, so-called, Christiandom. She really avoided "Jehovah" at first, but let me tell you what, she's wearing that one like a badge of honor these days, "Jehovah-God" The bible says, "Jehovah-God______fill in the blank" I agree with what everyone has said so far...and realize I need to establish some boundaries. Because she has broken my trust by witnessing to my kids behind my back, I need to be carefull not to give her additonal opportunities to do that. Oh yeah, my kids are 12 and 7.
• 

  Valis

  KBQ, sorry to hear of your JW infestation. My only advice would be to contact your mother and let her know that you aren't interested in becoming a JW and that you would rather not have your children exposed to it either. If in fact she wants to have a relationship with her grandchildren, then she will buck up and shut up about the JW thing when they are around. That's where the rubber hits the road my friend. It does make people very bitter, and IMHO, it because they see people around them they can't control...Those dam incorrigible apostate/heretic/worldly bastards! How dare they be happy when I have to go to meeting three times a week, service once a week, and study the rest of the time so I can answer at least one question at the hall? Its not easy, but its the only way to keep the JW influence out. I had to tell my parents the same thing and they were real pissed, after I explained that I didn't want my kids going to meetings and getting that Jehovah business in thier pretty little heads. They didn't speak to me for some time, but they continue to see my kids, only they know that the Hall and the JW talk are out of bounds and unacceptable. Enjoy posting and chatting with us, but most of all good luck.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  puppylove

  Welcome Qpid!
• 

  Adonai438

  Hi Qpid & Welcome ((((((hugs)))))))))
  I know it's hard to deal with JW family!
  My aunt (who I used to be very close to) only started speaking to me after 6 years of JW silence because I became a christian instead of a JW. Same with her-- She can spout off on JWs all she wants but if I reply to her comments then I'm picking a fight. It's hard to not be able to be open with a close relative and have to tip-toe around.
  You're right though-- it's totally inapprpriate for her to say anything religious to YOUR kids. She can be what she wants but should not be trying to teach your kids WT against your wishes. I know it's easier said than done but you'll probably need to just talk to her. Either agree to disagree and not talk religion at all or agree to talk religion only among the adults.
  WELCOME AGAIN [8>]
• 

  DanielHaase

  QPID...Welcome! Love the new folks.