An article on shunning that really started the wheels turning

by sd-7 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    It was the September 1, 2006 Watchtower, page 17, "When A Loved One Leaves Jehovah". It was this quote I found upsetting:

    “It has become harder and harder to sit at Christian meetings and see parents laughing and talking with their children,” says Louise. “Any happy event is overshadowed by emptiness because of the ones missing.” One Christian elder recalls the four years during which his wife’s daughter cut off association with them. He says: “Often, even the ‘good times’ were difficult. If I gave my wife a gift or took her somewhere nice for a weekend, she would break down crying, remembering that her daughter did not share our happiness.”

    Are such Christians overreacting? Not necessarily.

    Even as a Witness I found this line of thought troubling. There's so much going on there. For one, it seems to imply that its audience would naturally conclude that the individuals quoted might be "overreacting" to being cut off from their children! What sort of person would reason that way? Then to add, "Not necessarily," is again an implication--that there are circumstances in which overreacting to having to shun your own children might happen. Well, they'd have to be pretty extreme, like mass murderer/child molester extreme, if you ask me.

    I always felt that the Society was trying to get us to accept this arrangement as from God; but really, we were only told that justice was served. We don't get any kind of record of what happens in their judicial committees. One sentence from the platform, and that's it. Well, that's not how it was done in Israel, and not how it was done amongst the early Christians; in matters affecting everyone, crimes, doctrine, and matters of possible injustice, things were conducted before the eyes of the congregation. So where is the scriptural precedent for the secrecy?

    In my own personal Bible reading, I encountered 2 Corinthians 12:21, which speaks of Paul actually mourning over the unrepentant. Such mourning is nonexistent amongst those "taking the lead" in the organization, as evidenced by this article and many others we've seen in more recent times. The Society has never, to my knowledge, commented at all on 2 Cor. 12:21 in terms of its implications. It may only be one scripture, but it says a lot.

    As someone I cared for deeply had been expelled a year before this article was released, I read it with special interest. It offered me no comfort at all. Now I see that Witnesses clearly have to either feel emotions that are like a split personality or else none at all in order to live up to these requirements. You're supposed to love your brothers and sisters enough to die for them, but you're also supposed to treat them as nonexistent if they fall into sin.

    It was this callous attitude that helped me begin my journey away from Jehovah's Witnesses. It was the opposite of what I'd read in the Bible, so I knew even then that something was wrong.

    --sd-7

  • steve2
    steve2

    So this article unintentionally bore good fruit: it helped you see the cold, cold manipulatively cruel heart of the organization and led to your decision to quit. Just imagine the impact it has on others who have children who are disfellowshipped. Probably not too different from your reaction!

    Do take heart also that, one of the reasons the Watchtower keeps repeating its cold stand on disfellowshipping is because JW parents in fact are not as compliant with it as they once were.

    I have heard that COs and DOs are disturbed by the widespread ignoring by the rank and file of the harsh policy on disfellowshipping.

    Sure, the JWs do not openly question or complain about it. But away from the glare of the elders, JW parents often have a lot more dealings with their disfellowshipped children than they'd ever disclose. One JW friend of mine (who is still in and believes it is the truth) told me recently that what he and his wife decide to do regarding their disfellowshipped daughter is their business and their business alone. She visits them on a regular basis and they are in phone contact with her. Yet, outwardly they have completely shunned her.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    One thing I always wondered about was why the society forbade talking about "spiritual things" with DF'd minors/family members who lived under the same roof. I thought, What does anyone need more than spiritual encouragement if they are disfellowshipped?

    Now I know exactly why this is explicitly forbidden: damage and information control in the case of relatives who have apostasized. This probably the only real reason disfellowshipping is still used.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Rereading this quote I just realized another piece of manipulation:

    One Christian elder recalls the four years during which his wife’s daughter cut off association with them.

    So it was the person who got expelled who cut off the association, not the people who under threat of expulsion are told to cut off association with their child...isn't that backwards here?

    --sd-7

  • Joliette
    Joliette

    ***Bookmarking for later***

  • cheyenne
    cheyenne

    Also manipulative - making it seem like the Watchtower feels your pain and relates, and that going through severe depression and trauma is just a normal part of being close to God.

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    making it seem like the Watchtower feels your pain and relates

    Really? Never got that feeling. I think I always had the sense that this stuff was written by old men in their ivory tower who were clearly detached from reality and human nature. Still thought they were right back then, but I think I nonetheless started to become cynical about God and the 'sovereignty' issue. I started to see it as just a war between God and the Devil and I began to suspect that humanity would lose no matter who won. So many of us would die, all for what? To prove one being is right? A person who had the right by virtue of being absolute power? The core of the entire belief system started to seem hollow.

    --sd-7

  • stillstuckcruz
    stillstuckcruz

    his wife’s daughter cut off association with them.

    ^Yea right...sure. Blame the daughter as if it was her choice to have nothing to do with her family. Shun Gun is more like it

  • La Falta Habitacion Por Sr Hor-Hey!!
    La Falta Habitacion Por Sr Hor-Hey!!

    You guys/gals beat me to it, but the line about the "daughter cut off association with them" is what stood out to me too. It's ALWAYS the fault of the person no longer around to defend themselves as to why they're not around. As pointed out before there's no dignified way to either express one's misgivings about the organization to friends and family, and there's no way to quietly leave without any emotional trauma. The Watchter's position on those who don't believe and want to leave reminds me of 1 Tim 3 on the last days, and particulary the line about, "not being open to any agreement." With the WT it's always, "my way, or the highway."

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Aww, you're making me think about that Beast-Tower article I wrote not long ago on shun guns...I do hope they never take that idea too literally...

    --sd-7

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit